Gum Control thread

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gnome
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Gum Control thread

Post by gnome » Mon Dec 17, 2012 2:01 am

Really, it's time to have a hard look at gum rights in this country...

I find these germ-infested things stuck under every public table, and yet we sell them in the grocery store right next to the candy and energy drinks...
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
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Re: Gum Control thread

Post by Pyrrho » Mon Dec 17, 2012 2:02 am

Brush and floss every day, kiddies.
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Re: Gum Control thread

Post by Nyarlathotep » Mon Dec 17, 2012 2:09 am

I'd contribute to this thread, but I'd be gum-control trolling. But fuck it, I'll do it anyway. If we are going to do gum-control we should do it right, use SIngapore as a model.
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Re: Gum Control thread

Post by Cool Hand » Mon Dec 17, 2012 2:42 am

But it's right in the Two Hundred and Second Amendment -- the right to exercise your jaw muscles, free from the tyranny of having to chew food.
....life purpose is pay taxes -- pillory 12/05/13

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Racing around to come up behind you again
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Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

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Re: Gum Control thread

Post by Anaxagoras » Mon Dec 17, 2012 11:50 pm

I hate the filthy motherfuckers who stick their used gum under a desk or table or chair. Why are these people allowed to exist in a society? :x
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

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Re: Gum Control thread

Post by Rob Lister » Mon Dec 17, 2012 11:57 pm

smacking. i hate smacking. teen age girls mostly. smack, smack, smack.

close your damn mouth.

AND GET OUT OF MY YARD!

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Re: Gum Control thread

Post by gnome » Tue Dec 18, 2012 1:16 am

Chicago wrote:Liz: Girls:
You know how people
have these little habits that
get you down. Like Bernie.
Bernie liked to chew gum.
No, not chew. Pop. Well, I
came home this one day and
I am really irritated, and
looking for a little sympathy
and there's Bernie layin' on
the couch, drinkin' a beer and
chewin'. No, not chewin'.
Popping. So, I said to him, I
said, "Bernie, you pop that
gum one more time..."
And he did!

Liz:
So I took the shotgun off the wall
and fired two warning shots...
...into his head.
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2

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Re: Gum Control thread

Post by Bruce » Tue Dec 18, 2012 10:31 am

Anaxagoras wrote:I hate the filthy motherfuckers who stick their used gum under a desk or table or chair. Why are these people allowed to exist in a society? :x
I think everyone should have the right to carry a gum. If everyone had a gum, then you probably wouldn't see those kinds of crimes. Imagine if everyone had a gum and some person when to stick his gum under a desk. I would then brandish my gum and say, hey buddy, not so fast.

I do have my limits though.

I don't think one person should amass too many gums.

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Re: Gum Control thread

Post by asthmatic camel » Tue Dec 18, 2012 10:42 am

A GUM Dalek!

I suppose that's one way to exterminate.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: Gum Control thread

Post by gnome » Tue Dec 18, 2012 12:04 pm

Ahhh a gum rights advocate, eh? I suppose you'd be in favor of citizens owning industrial-grade xantham gum-- just in case they need to cool the drill bits of their home oil rigs, hmm?

I can't advocate the release of polysaccharides into all citizens' hands...we've got enough crap under our desks already.
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2

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Re: Gum Control thread

Post by Nyarlathotep » Tue Dec 18, 2012 3:37 pm

Bruce wrote:
Image
It's so sad that after MST3K ended, Tom Servo fell on such hard times that he had to start appearing at children's parties to support himself....
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Re: Gum Control thread

Post by Bruce » Wed Dec 19, 2012 1:37 am

Ok, I'll admit it. I'm a gum collector. In fact, I collect a lot of gums.

Think about it man. I mean, what are you gonna chew when the end of the world comes. What are you gonna chew?

I'm always packing.

Image

My favorite is the multi Chiclet clips.

Image

Then there's the classic hollow rounds.

Image

But if you're a serious gum collector you can't do without this:

Image

It's a hollow round with a hard multi-layer sucrose re-enforced casing. Not for the casual chewers.

They can have my gum when they peal it from the bottom of my coffin!
Such potential!

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Re: Gum Control thread

Post by no one in particular » Wed Dec 19, 2012 2:21 am

Bruce wrote:Ok, I'll admit it. I'm a gum collector. In fact, I collect a lot of gums.
5 Cobalt is okay, but Wrigley's Polar Ice is the only non-bubble gum worth serious consideration. I'm a product and labeling whore, so I've tried them all. And for long lasting refreshment, there's no reason to chew anything other than Polar Ice. Although, remember, you should stop chewing it after several hours even though it still has its flavor. Otherwise your jaw will regret it.
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Re: Gum Control thread

Post by gnome » Wed Dec 19, 2012 3:47 am

Picked up this vintage piece for my collection...

Image
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2

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Re: Gum Control thread

Post by asthmatic camel » Wed Dec 19, 2012 4:02 am

There are only two...

Image

[youtube]ixh_30Ib2T0[/youtube]
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: Gum Control thread

Post by Bruce » Thu Dec 20, 2012 3:35 am

asthmatic camel wrote:There are only two...
[youtube]ixh_30Ib2T0[/youtube]
....pillory?
Such potential!

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Re: Gum Control thread

Post by Mentat » Thu Dec 20, 2012 3:43 am

Screw gum control, what about we to do about nun control?
It's "pea-can", man.

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Re: Gum Control thread

Post by Bruce » Thu Dec 20, 2012 3:49 am

Mentat wrote:Screw gum control, what about we to do about nun control?
What do you know about nuns? Have you ever handled a nun? Are you a member of the NRA (Nun Reach-around Association)? Do you believe it is your right to own a nun?
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Re: Gum Control thread

Post by asthmatic camel » Thu Dec 20, 2012 3:53 am

Bruce wrote: ....pillory?
Same bad memory.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: Gum Control thread

Post by Mentat » Thu Dec 20, 2012 3:56 am

Bruce wrote:
Mentat wrote:Screw gum control, what about we to do about nun control?
What do you know about nuns? Have you ever handled a nun? Are you a member of the NRA (Nun Reach-around Association)? Do you believe it is your right to own a nun?
The constitution says so. It is my right to have bear nuns.And before anybody says bare nuns are better, let me ask which one do you think would more likely rip your enemies' arms off on command?
It's "pea-can", man.

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