Why Florida is an awsome place to live

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Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by ed » Fri Jun 20, 2014 11:02 am

1) You can shoot people pretty much at will

2) You can buy guuns anywhere with a minimum of legal crap

3) You can blow shit up at will
Evidences ----->Image

4) We have, potentially, a "Penis Christ" (within minutes of my house!!)

5) We have really cool enormous snakes to remove the dead bodies resulting from (1), above
Evidences ------>Image

6) We have weird crypto critters
Evidences ----->Image
(aka Myakka Skunk Ape)

7) We have big ass hogs running around all over the place necessitating travling armed 24/7
Evidences ------>Image
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by jacks » Fri Jun 20, 2014 11:27 am

two words- sinkhole central- that is all

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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by ed » Fri Jun 20, 2014 11:41 am

Forgot about that thanks.

8) We have awesome sinkholes wherein naysayers are dropped, never to be seen again and forgotten but for their thin screams of desperation emanating from the stygian depths.
Evidence ---->
130301151745-02-sinkholes-0301-horizontal-gallery.jpg
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Anaxagoras » Fri Jun 20, 2014 12:21 pm

That is a huge hog. Those are dangerous are they?

What is the species?
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by WildCat » Fri Jun 20, 2014 12:39 pm

Florida is also the flattest state in the USA. Illinois is the second flattest.

Useless crap learned reading the news this week.
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by ed » Fri Jun 20, 2014 12:50 pm

Anaxagoras wrote:That is a huge hog. Those are dangerous are they?

What is the species?
Evidentially yes. I asked someone why Contender pistols (a noted single shot make) were not popular down here and the guy explained that you have to have a second and third shot ready because those hogs are so aggressive. One chased my son home the first month we were here. Big, ugly brutes. I don't hunt but I might make an exception.

http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2009/dec ... ing-flori/

I wonder if you could train them and put together a Hog Army. Cool.
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by ed » Fri Jun 20, 2014 12:53 pm

WildCat wrote:Florida is also the flattest state in the USA. Illinois is the second flattest.

Useless crap learned reading the news this week.
9) Two wheelbarrows of dirt will be enough to create a mountain that you can name after yourself.
Evidences --->
Clown 414.jpg
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by jacks » Fri Jun 20, 2014 2:02 pm

two words- hot + humid- that is all

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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by ed » Fri Jun 20, 2014 2:55 pm

10) My heat/AC bills down here are about 20% what they were in CT for similarly sized homes.

11) My skin is thoroughly hydrated and youthful in appearance. I do not have that crusty look so common amongst some of our posters.
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Fri Jun 20, 2014 2:57 pm

ed wrote:11) My skin is thoroughly hydrated ...
Like this guy:

Image
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by jacks » Fri Jun 20, 2014 3:03 pm

two words- skin cancer- that is all

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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by hammegk » Fri Jun 20, 2014 3:04 pm

jacks wrote:two words- skin cancer- that is all
Gators & hurricanes.

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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by quarky » Fri Jun 20, 2014 3:16 pm

There are some hilly areas in Florida. There are even a few rivers that have enough gradient to form rapids. There are also some waterfalls, but they are underground.
The underground aspect is the most interesting to me. There are many first magnitude springs and world class cave diving. It's quite karsty. Some of the obscure springs that feed the Suwanee River are stunningly beautiful; deep, and crystal clear. With the right timing, you can have these springs to yourself. As crowded as it is, there are surprisingly wild places with strange and abundant wild life.


Once, while snorkeling in Silver Glen (a first magnitude spring in the Ocala National Forest) I was watching the sting rays, which have evolved for fresh water, when, suddenly, an otter snatched a mullet a few feet from me. Then, a bald eagle came crashing in and stole the mullet from the otter. I pulled my head out of the water to tell someone, but I was the only person there. That's when I saw a brown bear walking along the trail adjacent to the spring branch.

And crackers. Serious crackers. Cracker-ass-crackers.
Most of the myriad springs are in Northern Florida, and they remain around 72F year round, which can make the heat more fun.
Frost is not uncommon in Florida. I've camped in 18F, and wished I brought more clothes.

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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Tiosylanyl » Fri Jun 20, 2014 5:17 pm

ed wrote:10) My heat/AC bills down here are about 20% what they were in CT for similarly sized homes.

11) My skin is thoroughly hydrated and youthful in appearance. I do not have that crusty look so common amongst some of our posters.
That crusty look has nothing to do with hydration, or lack thereof.

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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness » Fri Jun 20, 2014 8:11 pm

The Northern Star wrote: Our History

Floridians have been stubborn and strange right from the start. In 1845, when Florida joined the United States, the first flag that flew over our capital bore the slogan, 'Let Us Alone'. Florida's cattle-herding settlers didn't cut the same romantic figure as the cowboys of the Old West. Artist Frederic Remington described them as "low-browed cow-folks" who would "shoot and stab each other for the possession of scrawny creatures not fit for a pointer-dog to mess on".

Our People

Since the Second World War, keeping Florida's economy afloat has depended on maintaining a constant influx of new residents, prompting The New Yorker magazine to dub us 'The Ponzi State'.

Our politicians

A study released last year found that, from 2000 to 2010, Florida led all the other states in total convictions of officials and staff who broke federal public corruption laws.

When our political leaders aren't breaking the rules, they're coming up with new ways to embarrass themselves. For instance, our legislators banned gay marriage, but later discovered they had never outlawed bestiality. Our current governor, Rick Scott, gave out a hotline number for dealing with a meningitis outbreak, except it turned out to be for a phone-sex line.

Our sense of always teetering on the edge of disaster

When you live in Florida, you spend half the year watching for hurricanes. Otherwise you're watching for lightning strikes, shark bites, stingray barbs, alligator attacks, coyote packs and the occasional centenarian driver who has confused the brake and accelerator. You can't even trust the ground you walk on. Just ask the folks at the Disney-area resort who saw half of it swallowed by a 100-foot wide sinkhole.
&c.
Snipped from here

But rising sea levels will take care of all that… :twisted:

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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by ed » Sat Jun 28, 2014 11:31 am

MIAMI — Lawyers gawked from office windows last month when a BMW S.U.V. swiped a parked police cruiser in the parking lot of a courthouse in Fort Lauderdale, then slammed into a gate over and over again.

A judge was at the wheel.


As lawyers used smartphones to snap pictures of the morning spectacle, Judge Lynn D. Rosenthal became the third Broward County judge in six months to be arrested on charges of driving under the influence. A colleague, Judge Gisele Pollack, had been suspended five days earlier after getting arrested on a D.U.I. charge while already on leave for taking the bench intoxicated — twice.

Even for South Florida, where absurd news events are routine and the sheriff went to prison for corruption, the spate of judicial scandals has raised serious questions about whether the arrests in Broward are a bizarre coincidence or underscore a larger systemic problem. In a county where the judiciary is known for old-school nepotism and cronyism, and judges have been caught smoking marijuana in a park and found drunk and partly naked in a hotel hallway, some lawyers find themselves wondering: At what point do isolated instances of misconduct point to something bigger?
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/28/us/in ... v=top-news

Awsome. And the "Times" writes as if there is a problem. Liberal faggocytes!! :x

We like our justice in FL the way we like our women: impaired and borderline violent and probably armed. Yankees need not apply!! :x
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Anaxagoras » Sat Jun 28, 2014 1:01 pm

Who are we to judge, right? :lol:
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by ed » Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:42 pm

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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Mon Jun 30, 2014 10:49 pm

ed wrote:Two Headed Gators, buddy.
Yeah I know. Fake but accurate, right? :roll:
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Re: Why Florida is an awsome place to live

Post by Witness » Tue Jul 01, 2014 3:25 am

The Huffy Post wrote:Florida Cops Accused Of Breaking Into City Hall To Use Bathroom
Link