My wife is trying to kill me, Part 16

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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: My wife is trying to kill me, Part 16

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Fri Jun 15, 2018 4:38 pm

You could put the CDs on the shelf over the tuba.
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Re: My wife is trying to kill me, Part 16

Post by Rob Lister » Fri Jun 15, 2018 4:52 pm

Image

You bought that!

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Re: My wife is trying to kill me, Part 16

Post by asthmatic camel » Fri Jun 15, 2018 8:51 pm

No, I did not.

Mrs. Camel bought it and left it in a precarious positions so that it would take me eye out while her tuba smashed me on the head.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: My wife is trying to kill me, Part 16

Post by Bruce » Sat Jun 16, 2018 1:10 am

But nothing rhymes with tuba... :(
Except for Cuba. Know anyone from Cuba?
Such potential!

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Re: My wife is trying to kill me, Part 16

Post by asthmatic camel » Sat Jun 16, 2018 8:24 am

Scuba rhymes with tuba. Work on it!
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: My wife is trying to kill me, Part 16

Post by robinson » Tue Jun 19, 2018 6:04 pm

I played my tuba in Aruba
You never know what's going to happen

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Re: My wife is trying to kill me, Part 16

Post by Witness » Wed Jun 20, 2018 12:39 am

Bruce wrote:But nothing rhymes with tuba... :(
Except for Cuba. Know anyone from Cuba?
Image

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Re: My wife is trying to kill me, Part 16

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Wed Jun 20, 2018 12:54 am

But they don't all rhyme. :p

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Re: My wife is trying to kill me, Part 16

Post by Bruce » Wed Jun 20, 2018 2:34 am

Had a tuba stuck to each man booba.....
I give up.
Such potential!

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Re: My wife is trying to kill me, Part 16

Post by sparks » Wed Jun 20, 2018 7:47 am

Stick to novels. Poetry will never fly for you my friend.

However, if you really did have a tuba stuck to each ... um ... man booba, and they didn't collide, well, that would be Guinness Book Of World Records awesome.
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.

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Re: My wife is trying to kill me, Part 16

Post by Bruce » Mon Jun 25, 2018 6:29 am

I won another minor dispute today.

It made me feel like this:

"I'm an indestructible master of waaaaar!!!"

I know my place though. In reality, it was more like:

"I'm a survivor, keep on survivin"
Such potential!

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Re: My wife is trying to kill me, Part 16

Post by Witness » Tue Jun 26, 2018 2:06 am

Think of all the money you save by not having to buy war/strategy games! :mrgreen:

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Re: My wife is trying to kill me, Part 16

Post by Bruce » Wed Jun 27, 2018 1:58 pm

She couldn't get the garage door access code to work.

Me: You have to press the buttons with authority. Mash them in deep. Pretend like you're pressing my buttons.


"Back off. I'll take you on!
Headstrong. I'll take on anyone!
:guitar:
Such potential!

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Re: My wife is trying to kill me, Part 16

Post by Bruce » Sat Jul 14, 2018 1:56 pm

The sprinkler isn't reaching that tree.

Yes it is.

No it isn't.

Yes it is.

No it isn't.

Come here and see.

I don't have to. It's obvious from here that it isn't reaching the tree.

(Like a damn fool, I stand in front of the tree and let the sprinkler soak me.)

There, you see? I'm soaking wet. The sprinkler is reaching the tree.

Hrrrmmph.

What? You don't believe me? You don't think it's getting enough water? Give me a hug.

NO!

Tell me I'm right or I'll give you a hug.

NOOO!

Come here!

EEEEEEKK!

Thought so. :twisted:
Such potential!