A Thought for the Day

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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Mon Dec 18, 2017 2:52 pm

Robert Ingersoll?
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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by Anaxagoras » Tue Dec 19, 2017 4:35 am

Turns out the first person I thought of was the right answer, but I wasn't confident in the answer so I looked it up.

The same person has a more famous quote about religion, but that would be a giveaway.
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by Doctor X » Tue Dec 19, 2017 6:16 am

Religion n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

“What is your religion my son?” inquired the Archbishop of Rheims. “Pardon, monseigneur,” replied Rochebriant; “I am ashamed of it.” “Then why do you not become an atheist?” “Impossible! I should be ashamed of atheism.” “In that case, monsieur, you should join the Protestants.”

--Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by Anaxagoras » Tue Dec 19, 2017 8:57 am

I like that definition, it's pithy but also spot-on.
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by Doctor X » Tue Dec 19, 2017 9:22 am

Bierce has some phenomenal definitions. Some go on, but I always loves his definition of "kill"--"to create a vacancy without naming a successor."

He is probably one of the best American authors, but since he deals in nasty dark humor, you cannot read him. I think I quoted his opening to "My Favorite Murder," but imaging how much better your Life in English Class would have been if you could read, say, "Oil of Dog":
My name is Boffer Bings. I was born of honest parents in one of the humbler walks of life, my father being a manufacturer of dog-oil and my mother having a small studio in the shadow of the village church, where she disposed of unwelcome babes. In my boyhood I was trained to habits of industry; I not only assisted my father in procuring dogs for his vats, but was frequently employed by my mother to carry away the debris of her work in the studio. In performance of this duty I sometimes had need of all my natural intelligence for all the law officers of the vicinity were opposed to my mother's business. They were not elected on an opposition ticket, and the matter had never been made a political issue; it just happened so. My father's business of making dog-oil was, naturally, less unpopular, though the owners of missing dogs sometimes regarded him with suspicion, which was reflected, to some extent, upon me. My father had, as silent partners, all the physicians of the town, who seldom wrote a prescription which did not contain what they were pleased to designate as _Ol. can._ It is really the most valuable medicine ever discovered. But most persons are unwilling to make personal sacrifices for the afflicted, and it was evident that many of the fattest dogs in town had been forbidden to play with me--a fact which pained my young sensibilities, and at one time came near driving me to become a pirate.
--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by Anaxagoras » Tue Dec 19, 2017 10:14 am

Inspired me to look him up on Wikipedia. I'm ashamed to admit that I had only a very vague sense of who he was.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambrose_Bierce

Treasure trove of good stuff linked to there. :mrgreen:
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by Doctor X » Tue Dec 19, 2017 10:39 am

The "Old Gringo."

To think we were forced to read such excrement as The Red Badge of Courage and anything by Hawthorne.

His "Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" is a classic made into a Twilight Zone and other episodes, but it is known because, while fantastic, it is "safe." It does not delve into the hypocrisy of humanity and the vulgarness as the stories I mentioned he bound into "The Patricide Club." "Oil of Dog" is a fantastic satire of "genteel sensibilities" in the face of base horror: Boffer Bing's parents kill dogs and children and he thinks this is good "Christian Work." The "Townspeople object strongly" only to end up in the same vats.

Edgar Allen Poe cannot "smell his shit!" We read Poe, because he is largely over-wrought, boring, and therefore "safe." "Tell-Tale Heart" is the "Teletubies" in comparison to "My Favorite Murder." Like reading Johnny Tremain or a Dickens novel or, worse, Melville when you have Conrad who actually experienced his stories whilst Melville masturbated behind a desk because no one really cared who he was or what he did. He is remembered only because American Literature is "young" and if it is 1,000 pages, it must be "significant." It also has a lot of "good Christian values" in it, so there you go.

Bierce rejected that. He might have enjoyed Lovecraft other than to tell him that Providence sucks, stop trying to pretend you are British, and if you actually journeyed beyond New York, you would not be so racist.

In the rain.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by Witness » Wed Dec 20, 2017 4:36 am

Solitude would be ideal if you could pick the people to avoid.

Karl Kraus

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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by Witness » Thu Dec 21, 2017 7:03 am

Anaxagoras wrote:Turns out the first person I thought of was the right answer, but I wasn't confident in the answer so I looked it up.

The same person has a more famous quote about religion, but that would be a giveaway.
Well done, Anax. :figamagee:

I of course left out the too famous part:
Religious suffering is, at one and the same time, the expression of real suffering and a protest against real suffering. Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.

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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by Pyrrho » Wed Dec 27, 2017 1:44 am

Matthew Inman
@Oatmeal

that moment when u don't fully understand something but you decide to explain it to someone else anyway and as ur bullshitting you suddenly understand your own explanation and your BS turns into perceptive truth

that's called bullshitspiration

be fearless.it turns shit to gold
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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by Bruce » Fri Dec 29, 2017 4:55 am

I was thinking it might be fun to dress up like an Amish person, go into a bar and say, "Hello. I would like a booze, please. No, make that two boozes."
Such potential!

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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by Pyrrho » Sat Dec 30, 2017 1:54 am

Image
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by Doctor X » Sat Dec 30, 2017 6:50 am

Normally girls always act like a hivemind in groups. Always reading the mood and trying to match wavelengths.

– Hina Nemoto
--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

WS CHAMPIONS X3!!! NBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup! SB CHAMPIONS X5!!!!!
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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by Pyrrho » Sun Dec 31, 2017 7:34 pm

Image
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by sparks » Mon Jan 01, 2018 2:55 am

Damn.

That's depressing.



Thanks Pyrrho.
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.

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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by Witness » Mon Jan 01, 2018 5:38 am

Yeah, if we weren't a bunch of very nasty apes, we wouldn't be here to talk about it.

Thanks, Nature! :x

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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by sparks » Mon Jan 01, 2018 7:48 pm

BWAHAHAHA.... BTW--not 'nasty apes', rather, 'damn dirty ape'. Just sayin'.
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.

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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by Witness » Tue Jan 02, 2018 3:52 am

"It's a fact known throughout the universes that no matter how carefully the colours are chosen, institutional decor ends up as either vomit green, unmentionable brown, nicotine yellow or surgical appliance pink. By some little understood process of sympathetic resonance, corridors painted in those colours always smell slightly of boiled cabbage – even if no cabbage is ever cooked in the vicinity."

Terry Pratchet, Equal Rites
[typo corrected]
Last edited by Witness on Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by Pyrrho » Thu Jan 04, 2018 12:41 am

Image
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

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Re: A Thought for the Day

Post by Witness » Thu Jan 04, 2018 3:30 am

A quote for Pyrrho?
One forges one's style on the terrible anvil of daily deadlines.

Emile Zola
:mrgreen: