All Cunts are Assholes but not all Assholes are Cunts: a cogent observation which, for some reason, ended my ambitions to pursue a career in gynecology and gastrointestinology in Southern California hotels.
Ask Your Mom! That comes from the Asshole Categories explained by Me Dad years ago--Japanese originally expurgated to prevent language in schools that would mandate a "parent-teacher conference." To whit:
- 1. Asshole: "You don't like him. He doesn't like you. You won't have a beer with him. But you can work with him."
2. Roaring Asshole: "Actually prevents you from getting work done! You have to get others to do his work."
3. Complete Fucking Asshole: "Must be removed! At all costs! For our Freedoms! "
Never did understand how Me Dad could so eloquently vocalize a gif years before its invention. But then he had horrific taste in music.
So, I offer someone who has been an Asshole, indeed, a Fucking Asshole for decades. "Nasty Nastase!" As a Wee Spud, I recall a cartoon claiming he gave the finger to judges, because he thought it was rude to gesture with the finger he uses to pick his nose. Well, for the last few days, he has exceeded his even Older Than Many of Us History of Assholery and, frankly, I thought someone would have posted on it. But no one has! I blame sparks and Boss Paul:
Since I remain a RIVER to My People:
Ilie Nastase: Fucking Asshole of the Week[Patent pending.--Ed.] Romania's Fed Cup captain to quit game if punished by ITF
Ilie Nastase will quit tennis if he is banned over derogatory comments he made about Serena Williams' unborn child.
Williams accused Nastase of racism after he was overheard asking if the child would be "chocolate with milk". Just that makes him an Asshole, but to move beyond "Roaring" to "Fucking" he, of course, continues speaking.
Nastase apologised in a Facebook post on Friday, but later told BBC Sport: "For me it's not racial. Somebody in England thinks it is." Wrap your collective minds around that. But THERE IS MORE! NOW HOW MUCH WILL YOU PAY?
. . .
"English people considered it was racist and everybody picked it up like that," he said of his remarks about Williams.
Yes . . . it is the English people's fault. Serena is not actually English, she is American Freedom but let us not tax the intelligence of a Fucking Asshole.
"Romanians don't think it was a racial word. The only person who can get upset maybe is Serena, but not you people in England. Why does everybody else get upset? I don't understand. Whatever." Quod erat fucking demonstrandam.
After Konta and Britain's captain Anne Keothavong had complained of calling-out from the crowd in the World Group II play-off tie in Constanta, Nastase was involved in a discussion with officials in which he used foul and abusive language. See? He is an Asshole to British Women! How is that racist?
He then called both Konta and Keothavong "a bitch" multiple times, as well as swearing at them.
Before play had even started, Nastase insulted a British journalist over their reporting of his comments about world number one Wiliams, calling the Press Association's tennis correspondent "stupid".
He also put his arm tightly around Keothavong and asked for her room number, in earshot of the watching media.
This is Anne Keothavong:
notice a "pattern?"
On Friday in an interview with the BBC, he justified his behaviour by claiming he abused Konta and Keothavong as a member of the crowd - that he was no longer acting as captain, having been sent off.
"Let's start with the umpire because I asked what's his problem and he said to me: 'If you don't sit down, I'm going to throw you out of the game,'" Nastase said.
"I sit in the front row and the guy came and said: 'You have to leave the stadium.' Then I start to scream at Konta and the other girl. That's what I did. Well, of course one logically follows the other! Why am I making this thread? Let me go off and search for NBLs and Pats Porn.
"I was not on the court, I have to remind you that. Well . . . fuck me then. I was thrown out of the game. I said that from the crowd. I wasn't on the court, there is a difference. I'm not anymore the coach of the team. Seriously. I am not making this up.
"I was upset when they throw me out of the court. Then when he said to leave the stadium also then I was upset because the girls they said they didn't want me in the stands anymore. So then I scream at her and the coach." I mean, why are they on the court when they SHOULD BE IN THE KITCHEN!
On Sunday, former US Open finalist Pam Shriver claimed Nastase - a former world number one - also made inappropriate comments to her when she was a teenage star of the women's tour.
Shriver, now 54, said Nastase repeatedly asked her if she was a virgin.
"Whenever I saw him at any tournament he would ask me the same question," she told BBC Radio 5 live's Sportsweek.
"This man has not been respectful of women for a long, long time."
When asked about Shriver's remarks on Friday, Nastase said: "You're going to go back again another 20, 25 years ago?
Now . . . what follows is so Epic FAIL, my Face-Boobs, Face-Desk, Face-Wall, and "Tinkerbell and the Bikers" [Still available on Betamax!--Ed.] memes symbols cannot encapsulate the level:
"Because of this situation are you going to wipe everything? I mean it's ridiculous what you think. Are you going to judge me what happened today with what happened years ago?
"People can like me, people can hate me. It's the same thing when you play a tennis match."
Buggered . . . by . . . Yadda, Yadda
Congratulations You Fucking Asshole!