I've got no boobs

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Bruce
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I've got no boobs

Postby Bruce » Wed Nov 29, 2017 7:50 am

This song has been playing on the radio a lot lately. It's about the difficult life of a woman with no boobs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUdyuKaGQd4

Seems they replaced "boobs" with "roots". Americans are so touchy about naughty words. :roll:
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Re: I've got no boobs

Postby Grammatron » Wed Nov 29, 2017 8:21 am

But they let her say gypsies?
pillory wrote:jokes aren't funny....seriously thinking......

seriously thinking might be funny....but it's not joke

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asthmatic camel
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Re: I've got no boobs

Postby asthmatic camel » Wed Nov 29, 2017 9:50 am

Bruce wrote:This song has been playing on the radio a lot lately. It's about the difficult life of a woman with no boobs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUdyuKaGQd4

Seems they replaced "boobs" with "roots". Americans are so touchy about naughty words. :roll:


Write to her, Bruce.

The man with no ass marries the woman with no boobs.

It's headline material. :D
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Bruce
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Re: I've got no boobs

Postby Bruce » Thu Nov 30, 2017 12:11 am

asthmatic camel wrote:
The man with no ass marries the woman with no boobs.

It's headline material. :D


It amuses me that you still remember that. :D

Since that time, I've grown love handles, muffin top, jowls, moobs, back titties, and that jiggly stuff that hangs under the arms, but to this day, I have a bony, shape-less, feature-less ass. :P
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Re: I've got no boobs

Postby Fid » Thu Nov 30, 2017 12:59 am

But on the other hand you could craft some deadly thing that would exterminate humanity.
"...And therefore never send to know for whom the dog woofs; it woofs for thee."

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Re: I've got no boobs

Postby sparks » Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:16 am

Bruce wrote:
asthmatic camel wrote:
The man with no ass marries the woman with no boobs.

It's headline material. :D


It amuses me that you still remember that. :D

Since that time, I've grown love handles, muffin top, jowls, moobs, back titties, and that jiggly stuff that hangs under the arms, but to this day, I have a bony, shape-less, feature-less ass. :P


Irish?
Nice things? Hell no!

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Re: I've got no boobs

Postby Bruce » Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:29 am

Probably a little. Half my family didn't keep track of who did who.
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Re: I've got no boobs

Postby asthmatic camel » Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:37 am

Bruce wrote:
asthmatic camel wrote:
The man with no ass marries the woman with no boobs.

It's headline material. :D


It amuses me that you still remember that. :D

Since that time, I've grown love handles, muffin top, jowls, moobs, back titties, and that jiggly stuff that hangs under the arms, but to this day, I have a bony, shape-less, feature-less ass. :P


Do you need to shave your ears and eyebrows?

I'm 52 years old today, have all the features you describe and my balls are hanging so low that they get stuck in my boots.

:(
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: I've got no boobs

Postby asthmatic camel » Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:40 am

Bruce wrote:Probably a little. Half my family didn't keep track of who did who.


Knowing your real name, I'd guess that you're largely Welsh.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: I've got no boobs

Postby Witness » Thu Nov 30, 2017 4:55 am

SC, or the Internet's Cour des miracles! :shock:

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Bruce
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Re: I've got no boobs

Postby Bruce » Thu Nov 30, 2017 6:14 am

I have exactly one hair that grows rapidly from my ear canal that must be plucked at least once per week. Every so often, I find one rogue eyebrow hair that somehow seems to sprout overnight and grow about an inch. It's thicker than the other hairs and I need to pinch down hard on the tweezers to yank it out. It's like the root goes down into my skull. No way that fucker was there yesterday.

I'm 42. Apparently I'm in the pubescent stage of old fuckery. When will I get the real super powers of crustiness?
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Re: I've got no boobs

Postby Fid » Thu Nov 30, 2017 8:42 am

Bruce wrote:I have exactly one hair that grows rapidly from my ear canal that must be plucked at least once per week. Every so often, I find one rogue eyebrow hair that somehow seems to sprout overnight and grow about an inch. It's thicker than the other hairs and I need to pinch down hard on the tweezers to yank it out. It's like the root goes down into my skull. No way that fucker was there yesterday.

I'm 42. Apparently I'm in the pubescent stage of old fuckery. When will I get the real super powers of crustiness?

Bro they are called "ear lashes"

Old guys like us have either to learn to use tweezers and get plucking or pay some barber to do it.

Oh and regards the super powers, yer pecker will not be what it used to be though these days that might not be such a bad thing.
"...And therefore never send to know for whom the dog woofs; it woofs for thee."

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asthmatic camel
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Re: I've got no boobs

Postby asthmatic camel » Thu Nov 30, 2017 11:50 am

You know you've really made it when you can wing a sparrow at fifty yards when clipping your toenails...
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: I've got no boobs

Postby sparks » Thu Nov 30, 2017 4:05 pm

asthmatic camel wrote:
I'm 52 years old today, .....




Happy Birthday AC!
Nice things? Hell no!

Board Crumbmuffin.

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Bruce
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Re: I've got no boobs

Postby Bruce » Fri Dec 01, 2017 1:09 am

I want the super power where you can speak your mind to any authority figure without fear of consequences. When does that happen?

Image
I said you can take that parking ticket and shove it right up your flabby hipster ass. Why don't you get a real job so you can put more of your tax dollars toward paying for my social security, you piece of shit. No if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the hardware store and buy myself some needle-nosed pliers for my ear lashes and some tin snips for my toenails.
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Re: I've got no boobs

Postby Witness » Fri Dec 01, 2017 1:25 am

asthmatic camel wrote:I'm 52 years old today

Happy birthday, AC!

Image

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Bruce
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Re: I've got no boobs

Postby Bruce » Sat Dec 02, 2017 1:32 am

I've got man boobs, and my balls are draggin on the ground.
I've got man boobs, and my balls are draggin on the ground.
I've got man booooOOOOo-oo-oo-oOO-OOoobs.
I've got man boobs.

I've got ear canals with....hairs inside em.
I've got drawers and drawers of...empty grocery bags but,
I've got memories that.....maybe I'll remember again some day.
Such potential!

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Re: I've got no boobs

Postby ed » Sat Dec 02, 2017 2:06 am

Bruce wrote:I have exactly one hair that grows rapidly from my ear canal that must be plucked at least once per week. Every so often, I find one rogue eyebrow hair that somehow seems to sprout overnight and grow about an inch. It's thicker than the other hairs and I need to pinch down hard on the tweezers to yank it out. It's like the root goes down into my skull. No way that fucker was there yesterday.

I'm 42. Apparently I'm in the pubescent stage of old fuckery. When will I get the real super powers of crustiness?


Be patient Grasshopper.
- new minimalist ethos -


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