The UK thread

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness » Mon Jan 29, 2018 3:07 am


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Re: The UK thread

Post by Anaxagoras » Mon Jan 29, 2018 3:20 am

"Strawpedo" :roll:
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Giz » Wed Feb 07, 2018 3:51 pm

A Scottish farmer frantically called cops to report a tiger in his cow shed, sparking an armed police standoff — only to learn it just was a large, cuddly stuffed animal.

The frightened farmer said the first officer to respond to the scene was so scared that he “refused to get out of the squad car.”

North East Police even checked a local wildfire park to see if they had an escaped tiger on the loose.

After armed cops engaged in a 45-minute “standoff,” they realized the supposedly terrifying beast was actually just a big plush toy

https://nypost.com/2018/02/06/cops-real ... -standoff/

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Grammatron » Wed Feb 07, 2018 7:55 pm

It's a good thing this didn't happen in USA. There would have been a senseless plush toy death.

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Re: The UK thread

Post by ed » Wed Feb 07, 2018 9:21 pm

Stang your grund
Wenn ich Kultur höre, entsichere ich meinen Browning!

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Witness » Wed Feb 07, 2018 9:45 pm

Giz wrote:A Scottish farmer frantically called cops to report a tiger in his cow shed, sparking an armed police standoff — only to learn it just was a large, cuddly stuffed animal.
Reminded me of something. (* google, google *) Here it is:
BBC wrote:Stuffed toy tiger sparks police hunt

23 May 2011
From the section UK
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http://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-13507026/ ... olice-hunt

"Only in the UK"? :mrgreen:

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Giz » Wed Feb 07, 2018 10:09 pm

You may laugh, but when was the last time a UK policeman was eaten by a tiger, hey? Chow down on that safety record. Guess they must be doing something right!

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Re: The UK thread

Post by asthmatic camel » Sat Feb 10, 2018 1:46 pm

So many questions!

One simple answer.

Fuck You. Fuck all of you who aren't British. Because we're the best. Everyone knows it. It's a fact.

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Re: The UK thread

Post by gnome » Sat Feb 10, 2018 2:08 pm

I'm British. In Civ 6.

The Persians are getting a bit hostile, I'm thinking of sending some guys over there.
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2

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Re: The UK thread

Post by asthmatic camel » Sat Feb 10, 2018 2:18 pm

Send a few British women, with a couple of nukes. Problem solved.

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Sat Feb 10, 2018 3:08 pm

And mushy peas, the hummus of England.

Just don't put any olive oil in it.

And as for garlic ...

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:mrgreen:
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Sat Feb 10, 2018 3:09 pm

asthmatic camel wrote:Send a few British women ...
Why are they wearing North Korean hats? :?
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Re: The UK thread

Post by asthmatic camel » Sat Feb 10, 2018 3:32 pm

They're spies, you American dumbass.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: The UK thread

Post by asthmatic camel » Sat Feb 10, 2018 4:06 pm

Abdul Alhazred wrote:And mushy peas, the hummus of England.

Just don't put any olive oil in it.

And as for garlic ...

Image

:mrgreen:
Ahhhhh, mushy peas.

It's an acquired taste, I must admit. I hated mushy peas when I was a wee spud. Hated them with a passion normally reserved for Brussels sprouts and cabbage. (Broccoli had yet to hit our hallowed shores back then.)

Now that I'm an old, fat bastard, however, I really appreciate a whopping portion drenched in salt and vinegar as a side dish to compliment two baby's heads, (steak and kidney puddings for faggots who aren't British, and therefore not awesome), and a massive portion of real, proper chips. Not fries, (they're for French faggots and Americans, not, of course....)

Enough blathering.

Real English gentlemen eat this with relish, (and not that gay stuff you Yanks call relish, I mean delight.)

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Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Sat Feb 10, 2018 4:18 pm

Isn't there some extremely British substance known as Gentleman's Relish?

Or is that slang for something horrid old pooves get up to, that I might be familiar with but call something else? :BigGrin3:
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Re: The UK thread

Post by asthmatic camel » Sat Feb 10, 2018 9:09 pm

There is indeed, Abdul but it's not for poofs. (Well, it may be; it's made with anchovies which can taste and smell somewhat like something you won't have encountered.)

I digress.

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Sat Feb 10, 2018 9:14 pm

Anchovy paste?

How very Eyetie. :p
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Re: The UK thread

Post by asthmatic camel » Sat Feb 10, 2018 9:58 pm

Eyetie? Nahhhh, you Kikey, atheistic fag.

No more than Lea & Perrin's Worcestershire Sauce is Eyetie.

An essential ingredient in every English gentleman's dish.

I buy in bulk to ensure a secure supply.

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Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: The UK thread

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Sat Feb 10, 2018 10:04 pm

Didn't you could get it in 2 litre bottles.

Wait a minute? Litres?

How very French. :lmao:
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Re: The UK thread

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Sat Feb 10, 2018 10:05 pm

Next up: Something about how garlic is English, I suppose?
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