My Penultimate Day At Work

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Nyarlathotep
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My Penultimate Day At Work

Post by Nyarlathotep » Thu Feb 08, 2018 11:35 pm

Tomorrrow is my last day with this company. I was going to tell my boss "I am going to start my own company! With Blackjack and Hookers!" but then I realized I live in one of the few places in the country where I could actually do exactly that, at least in theory, and that takes the edge off of the joke a little bit.

Also. I like the word penultimate. Penultimate. I am going to find excuses to use that one a lot more, I think.
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Re: My Penultimate Day At Work

Post by Mentat » Thu Feb 08, 2018 11:45 pm

Finally starting that hair salon? :p
It's "pea-can", man.

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Re: My Penultimate Day At Work

Post by Nyarlathotep » Thu Feb 08, 2018 11:48 pm

I am deep in negotiations with an exiled member of the Nigerian Royal Family who shall remain nameless. He has assured me our business arrangements are 100% risky free.
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Re: My Penultimate Day At Work

Post by Pyrrho » Fri Feb 09, 2018 12:33 am

Whew. For a minute I thought you were negotiating with my guy, Sgt. Major Ramsey Johnson in Iraq, who has Saddam's briefcase full of thousand dollar bills.
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Re: My Penultimate Day At Work

Post by Nyarlathotep » Fri Feb 09, 2018 1:05 am

I considered his offer, but I was pressed for time and it was either that or order the “Herbal Penis Enlargement” pills, and frankly I’d have to be stupid not to go for that one
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Re: My Penultimate Day At Work

Post by Nyarlathotep » Fri Feb 09, 2018 4:12 pm

This is it. The final countdown commences. Cue the synths and the bad '80s hair band...

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Re: My Penultimate Day At Work

Post by Nyarlathotep » Fri Feb 09, 2018 5:43 pm

I work very near a Del Taco and as a result grab food from there a lot. This particular Del Taco has a weird habit of not just giving you a couple of sauce packets with your order, but giving you a heaping handful. As a result, I had accumulated a whole desk drawer full of Del Taco sauce packets. Because I am kind of a hoarder that way.

Knowing that today would be my last day, I began cleaning out my desk a couple of days ago and threw out my stash. But today I was cleaning off the disaster area that was the top of my desk and found at least an additional 10 or so packets that had wedged themselves in places like under my phone or between stacks of paper.

I swear I must have accumulated a full gallon of taco sauce over the years.
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Re: My Penultimate Day At Work

Post by gnome » Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:39 pm

Nyarlathotep wrote: Also. I like the word penultimate. Penultimate. I am going to find excuses to use that one a lot more, I think.
My very favorite use of the word "Penultimate", ever.

Also, I have no idea who Jonathan Lynne is--my favorite version was performed by Eric Idle.

http://www.montypython.net/scripts/JC-p ... supper.php

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Re: My Penultimate Day At Work

Post by Nyarlathotep » Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:43 am

And now at last, Dobby is a free elf!
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Re: My Penultimate Day At Work

Post by sparks » Sat Feb 10, 2018 5:19 am

And we will pray you out of employment purgatory with the powerz oF OuR MiNdZ! Even Doc_X has made a generous contribution of ill-gotten stereos on your behalf....
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Re: My Penultimate Day At Work

Post by Grammatron » Sat Feb 10, 2018 5:34 am

You can be a writer full time now! Grats on being a writer on a verge of a great novel! Just don't be a blue-balling GRRM.

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Re: My Penultimate Day At Work

Post by Doctor X » Sat Feb 10, 2018 5:43 am

They were not ill when I got them.

They were dead.






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Re: My Penultimate Day At Work

Post by Nyarlathotep » Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:36 am

Hey, The Boy has promised to put in a good word with his boss at the T-Shirt shop where he works. Of course, I think he just wants to be my boss...
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Re: My Penultimate Day At Work

Post by Bruce » Sat Feb 10, 2018 3:23 pm

Nyarlathotep wrote:I work very near a Del Taco and as a result grab food from there a lot. This particular Del Taco has a weird habit of not just giving you a couple of sauce packets with your order, but giving you a heaping handful. As a result, I had accumulated a whole desk drawer full of Del Taco sauce packets. Because I am kind of a hoarder that way.

Knowing that today would be my last day, I began cleaning out my desk a couple of days ago and threw out my stash. But today I was cleaning off the disaster area that was the top of my desk and found at least an additional 10 or so packets that had wedged themselves in places like under my phone or between stacks of paper.

I swear I must have accumulated a full gallon of taco sauce over the years.
I should introduce you to Mrs. Bruce. In fact, after my final functioning nerve cell snaps and I spend my last dollar on a plane ticket to Svalbard, I'll send her to Nevada to find you. With her hoarding powers and yours combined, you could turn Nevada into the biggest garbage heap on the planet. You could then retire on the tickets that you sell to tourist who want to see things like the world's largest collection of Del Taco and Chinese duck sauce packets.

I would suggest AC do the same, but that would be presumptuous of me. Maybe that would be too dangerous. Putting three hoarders that close together might trigger a singularity. A mass of garbage so dense that it's gravity causes it's molecules to collapse on themselves.......come to think of it, that might be the only way to clean my house, given it's present state. :D
Such potential!