Existential Oils

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Mentat
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Existential Oils

Postby Mentat » Mon Mar 19, 2018 1:43 pm

Does anybody know if they even exist?
It's "pea-can", man.

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Re: Existential Oils

Postby Abdul Alhazred » Mon Mar 19, 2018 1:46 pm

Cue up Bohemian Rhapsody :p
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Re: Existential Oils

Postby gnome » Mon Mar 19, 2018 6:13 pm

It's not well known, but the oils themselves subscribe to existentialism. Oils are surprisingly philosophical, but they can't talk so it's hard to tell.
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
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Re: Existential Oils

Postby Fid » Thu Mar 22, 2018 4:13 am

Mentat wrote:Does anybody know if they even exist?


Depending on your application that'd be 10W30.

I'm pretty sure all of the others will leave you standing in the rain/snow.
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Re: Existential Oils

Postby sparks » Thu Mar 22, 2018 4:53 am

There's more to life than lube you fag! :)
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.

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Re: Existential Oils

Postby Fid » Thu Mar 22, 2018 5:15 am

sparks wrote:There's more to life than lube you fag! :)


Not to belabor this thread any more than necessary but, Jesus on a fucking bicycle , your car
your lawnmower, weed eater, blower (looking at you Bill Clinton) and that weird thing your wife uses to "settle concrete" needs to to be lubricated.:)
Last edited by Fid on Thu Mar 22, 2018 5:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Existential Oils

Postby sparks » Thu Mar 22, 2018 5:24 am

Only because someone thinks life is better with it than without it. We carried on perfectly well before the petrochemical revolution. Sure a few whales died. But, you know... fuck 'em.

Can't mow your lawn in 1648? Simple: Don't water the fucking thing. And your wife wouldn't need a concrete settler if you kept home more. (Oh, sorry Fid, for you that would read 'husband')

Not that there is anything... as read.
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Re: Existential Oils

Postby Fid » Thu Mar 22, 2018 5:36 am

Whale oil...lamp...pussy. Bro are you Herman Melville doing porn?
Give me addy I'm there.

Side note Moby Dick is a whopping adventure and is way more fun than than the gray haired English teachers tried to make it
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Re: Existential Oils

Postby sparks » Thu Mar 22, 2018 5:50 am

Not doing whale porn, sorry.

Call me Ishmael.

And while reading it again, I'll be gone for about 3 months.

"All yea mast headers, now hear me...."



And such.
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Re: Existential Oils

Postby Fid » Thu Mar 22, 2018 5:51 am

Whale oil...lamp...pussy. Bro are you Herman Melville doing porn?
Give me addy I'm there.

Side note Moby Dick is a whopping adventure and is way more fun than than your gray haired English teachers tried to make it.
"Try SCE to AUX."
Yeah, me and an electrified atmosphere ain't friends.

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Re: Existential Oils

Postby sparks » Thu Mar 22, 2018 5:56 am

And why was that necessary? A repeat post after the fact?

No. I don't think so.
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Re: Existential Oils

Postby Fid » Thu Mar 22, 2018 6:09 am

Bro, did you ever read it for fun? Skipping the boring parts ( which on re-reading aren't so boring).
I mean damn diving into the frontal lobes of a sperm whale to recover the last of the oil because you are the smallest?
Oh and let's not forget "The Cassock."
Yeah the book is probably mostly bullshit. But after Ms. Morris couldn't ruin it for me, I liked it.

Woah...way too wrong place to put this rant.
sorry
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Re: Existential Oils

Postby Fid » Thu Mar 22, 2018 6:18 am

sparks wrote:And why was that necessary? A repeat post after the fact?

No. I don't think so.


Oh hell. Starbuck is going to make me slice whale flesh. "Bible leaves, bible leaves !"

Well at least it ain't some redneck prison guard trying to get me to dig a ditch with a snow shovel.
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Re: Existential Oils

Postby Doctor X » Thu Mar 22, 2018 1:37 pm

Melville was the Steven Seagal of authors.

Rumor has it that when Conrad choked him out, Melville shat himself.

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Re: Existential Oils

Postby sparks » Thu Mar 22, 2018 5:50 pm

Or jizzed. Dumb stories about men jizzing themselves at the point of death.

I know.


Stupid.
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.


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