Dad jokes and humor

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Bruce
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Dad jokes and humor

Post by Bruce » Mon Apr 16, 2018 12:20 pm

I might not be the best dad in the world, but I was born for dad jokes. Gotta start documenting.

Dad, what's circular reasoning?
It' reasoning that circulates.
What is reasoning that circulates?
Circular reasoning.

:doglaugh:
Such potential!

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Abdul Alhazred
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:08 pm

"Eat your spinach or your eyeballs will fall out."

At five years old (liking spinach but aware of the stereotype) I thought it was screamingly funny.

But it sure got a rise out of Mom. :)
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shemp
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by shemp » Tue Apr 17, 2018 3:06 am

"Hey you, pull up a couple of chairs and sit down!"

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"Did you bring your lunch or did you come in the back door?"

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Man gets on a bus with a banana in his ear. Driver says "Hey, you've got a banana in your ear!" "What?" "I said you've got a banana in your ear!" "What?" "You've got a banana in your ear!!!!" "I can't hear you, I've got a banana in my ear!"
"It is not I who is mad! It is I who is crazy!" -- Ren Hoek

"[... it seems most strange that... ] the Creator of Heaven and Earth resorted to the womb of a certain Jewish lady, grew there for nine months and was born as an infant, and afterwards grew up and was betrayed into the hands of his enemies who sentenced him to death and executed him, and that afterwards... he came to life and returned to his original place. The mind of a Jew, or any other person, simply cannot tolerate these assertions. If you have listened all your life to the priests who have filled your brain and the marrow of your bones with this doctrine, and it has settled into you because of that accustomed habit. [I would argue that if you were hearing these ideas for the first time, now, as a grown adult], you would never have accepted them." -- Rabbi Moses ben Nahman, defending the Talmud at the Disputation of Barcelona, July 1263.

"God is the supreme excuse for human adults to absolve themselves of any obligation to preserve natural resources for their own children during their lifetime." -- Gene Ray

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Bruce
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by Bruce » Tue Apr 17, 2018 4:11 am

Pay attention, son. You have to remember to cross your eyes and dot your tees. If you rush like that you'll get those reversed. :D
Such potential!

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robinson
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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by robinson » Tue Apr 17, 2018 4:25 pm

A weasel walks into the bar. The bartender says wow! In all my years bar tending I’ve never seen a weasel in a bar before. What can I get for you?


























Pop, goes the weasel.
You never know what's going to happen

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Re: Dad jokes and humor

Post by sparks » Tue Apr 17, 2018 8:44 pm

Pull my finger.
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.