The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

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asthmatic camel
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The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by asthmatic camel » Sun Jul 08, 2018 5:04 am

Having become a gentleman of a certain age and having failed to quit smoking cigarettes despite numerous valiant attempts, I have decided to compromise and become a pipe-smoker. I feel it gives me a certain gravitas which I previously lacked. (Unlike Mrs. Camel, who feels that it makes me look a cunt.) What do you guys think?

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Re: The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by Nyarlathotep » Sun Jul 08, 2018 5:25 am

That's a great big pipe
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Re: The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by Doctor X » Sun Jul 08, 2018 5:33 am

Fag.

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Re: The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by Doctor X » Sun Jul 08, 2018 5:34 am

Though you must have a devil of a time cleaning it. Do you have Thai Lady-Boys to do that for you?





I am asking for a friend.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

WS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! NBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup! SB CHAMPIONS X5!!!!!

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Re: The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by sparks » Sun Jul 08, 2018 6:46 am

What methods have you tried in your quest to quit the smokes AC?
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Re: The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by asthmatic camel » Sun Jul 08, 2018 8:00 am

I've tried e-cigs, nicotine patches and lozenges, snuff, drinking myself senseless, putting on massive amounts of weight and becoming a grumpy cunt that nobody wants to talk to. My GP won't prescribe Champix/Zyban because I'm a certifiable, suicidal loony. :D
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by asthmatic camel » Sun Jul 08, 2018 8:05 am

Nyarlathotep wrote:That's a great big pipe
As has been noted elsewhere, I often believe that I am Gandalf. Which is useful because rather than Thai lady boys, I have a team of enthusiastic Hobbits who clean my pipe for me.

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Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by ed » Sun Jul 08, 2018 11:11 am

asthmatic camel wrote:I've tried e-cigs, nicotine patches and lozenges, snuff, drinking myself senseless, putting on massive amounts of weight and becoming a grumpy cunt that nobody wants to talk to. My GP won't prescribe Champix/Zyban because I'm a certifiable, suicidal loony. :D
Find a diferent gp. Both my wife and i used it and have not smoked in ~10years

Btw, fag.
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Re: The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by Anaxagoras » Sun Jul 08, 2018 11:23 am

When I was young my dad used to smoke a corn cob pipe. A bit like Popeye.

Is pipe tobacco cheaper than cigarettes in England these days? I've heard they really tax the hell out of smokes these days.
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
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Re: The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by ed » Sun Jul 08, 2018 12:44 pm

Btw, you being a pipe smoker surprises not even a little
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Re: The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by asthmatic camel » Sun Jul 08, 2018 12:58 pm

Anaxagoras wrote:When I was young my dad used to smoke a corn cob pipe. A bit like Popeye.

Is pipe tobacco cheaper than cigarettes in England these days? I've heard they really tax the hell out of smokes these days.
Pipe tobacco costs roughly the same as hand-rolling tobacco, around £12 for a 30 gram pack. Ready made cigarettes, however, are horrendously expensive at around £12 per packet of twenty. I was smoking about three packs of rolling tobacco a week and smoke about half as much pipe tobacco.

So, I'm saving money and, as I don't inhale pipe smoke, causing less damage.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by shemp » Sun Jul 08, 2018 3:04 pm

How old are you, about 80?
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Re: The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by Anaxagoras » Sun Jul 08, 2018 4:08 pm

shemp wrote:How old are you, about 80?
Oh Shemp, be nice. He doesn't look a day over 75.
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
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Re: The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Sun Jul 08, 2018 4:28 pm

Hey AC!

All you need to complete the look is one one these hats.

Image

And the sneer. Don't forget the sneer.
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Re: The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by asthmatic camel » Sun Jul 08, 2018 5:18 pm

I already have the sneer but lack a deerstalker. Will a Fedora do? I have a couple...

Image
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by asthmatic camel » Sun Jul 08, 2018 5:20 pm

Anaxagoras wrote:
shemp wrote:How old are you, about 80?
Oh Shemp, be nice. He doesn't look a day over 75.
I'm 52. And you could have called me Dennis...
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by Doctor X » Sun Jul 08, 2018 5:59 pm

I did not know you were called, "Dennis."

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

WS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! NBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup! SB CHAMPIONS X5!!!!!

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Re: The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by ed » Mon Jul 09, 2018 12:02 pm

asthmatic camel wrote:I already have the sneer but lack a deerstalker. Will a Fedora do? I have a couple...

Image
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Re: The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Mon Jul 09, 2018 2:46 pm

A straight Quentin Crisp :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
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-- our mission statement plappendale

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Re: The Pipe-Smokers Thread.

Post by Witness » Tue Jul 10, 2018 1:51 am

asthmatic camel wrote:Image
"Gravitas"? With that whirlwind of colors (your Lycra outfit / Spanish chick magnet?) the effect is more akin to:

Image

:mrgreen: