Ask Ed

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ed
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Ask Ed

Post by ed » Tue Oct 02, 2018 7:34 pm

All questions answered in the order received.

Make sure your submission is in the form of a question.
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Witness
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Re: Ask Ed

Post by Witness » Tue Oct 02, 2018 8:21 pm

Is it "ed", "Ed", or have you just given up on spelling?

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Re: Ask Ed

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Tue Oct 02, 2018 10:48 pm

Why the capital letter, ed? Fat fingers?

Also --

Read me Doctor Memory?
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Re: Ask Ed

Post by xouper » Tue Oct 02, 2018 11:20 pm

ed wrote:
Tue Oct 02, 2018 7:34 pm
All questions answered in the order received.

Make sure your submission is in the form of a question.
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

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Re: Ask Ed

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Tue Oct 02, 2018 11:29 pm

Speaking of birds ...

Why does a porridge bird lay its egg in the air?
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

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Re: Ask ed

Post by ed » Wed Oct 03, 2018 12:20 am

Witness wrote:
Tue Oct 02, 2018 8:21 pm
Is it "ed", "Ed", or have you just given up on spelling?
"ed" and largely, yes.
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Re: Ask Ed

Post by ed » Wed Oct 03, 2018 12:21 am

xouper wrote:
Tue Oct 02, 2018 11:20 pm
ed wrote:
Tue Oct 02, 2018 7:34 pm
All questions answered in the order received.

Make sure your submission is in the form of a question.
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
"airspeed velocity" is redundant and we strive for clarity here.

You will find that I am strict but fair.
Wenn ich Kultur höre, entsichere ich meinen Browning!

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Re: Ask Ed

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Wed Oct 03, 2018 12:22 am

Do you evade the fat fingers question even though you have openly admitted a fat ass?

Please note that is a question. :BigGrin3:
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Re: Ask Ed

Post by ed » Wed Oct 03, 2018 12:22 am

Abdul Alhazred wrote:
Tue Oct 02, 2018 11:29 pm
Speaking of birds ...

Why does a porridge bird lay its egg in the air?
It does not "lay" them. It "releases" them.
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Re: Ask Ed

Post by ed » Wed Oct 03, 2018 12:23 am

Abdul Alhazred wrote:
Tue Oct 02, 2018 10:48 pm
Why the capital letter, ed? Fat fingers?

Also --

Read me Doctor Memory?
A test of your collective alertness.

You pass, but barely.
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Re: Ask Ed

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Wed Oct 03, 2018 12:25 am

ed wrote:
Wed Oct 03, 2018 12:23 am
Abdul Alhazred wrote:
Tue Oct 02, 2018 10:48 pm
Why the capital letter, ed? Fat fingers?

Also --

Read me Doctor Memory?
A test of your collective alertness.

You pass, but barely.
OK.

Now that we have that out of the way, how about correcting the subject line? <== A question.
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
Any man writes a mission statement spends a night in the box.
-- our mission statement plappendale

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Re: Ask Ed

Post by xouper » Wed Oct 03, 2018 12:54 am

ed wrote:
Wed Oct 03, 2018 12:21 am
xouper wrote:
Tue Oct 02, 2018 11:20 pm
ed wrote:
Tue Oct 02, 2018 7:34 pm
All questions answered in the order received.

Make sure your submission is in the form of a question.
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
"airspeed velocity" is redundant and we strive for clarity here.

You will find that I am strict but fair.
A joke isn't much of a joke if the intended audience doesn't get it.

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

This is now the third notable time this has happened to me in recent years.

The previous two times were during presentations in grad school:
  • One was a computer music presentation and I interrupted myself to say, "needs more cowbell", and everyone but the professor got the joke.
     
  • Another time was a presentation on aviation reliability engineering and towards the end I said, "No one wants to be the guy who says the O-rings will hold." Blank stares. :shock: No one in the audience got it except the professor.
Nonetheless, I got top marks in both those classes. I can't say the same about the marks I'm being given on this forum. Apparently I should take the hint.

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Re: Ask Ed

Post by shemp » Wed Oct 03, 2018 1:04 am

Two questions:

Why are you a complete fucking dickhead?

Are you xoup's mother?
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Freedom of choice
Is what you got
Freedom from choice
Is what you want

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Re: Ask Ed

Post by ed » Wed Oct 03, 2018 2:02 am

shemp wrote:
Wed Oct 03, 2018 1:04 am
Two questions:

Why are you a complete fucking dickhead?
Another miracle of evolution
Are you xoup's mother?
Don't think so. He isn't quite handsome enough.
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Re: Ask Ed

Post by Zombie Rob Lister » Wed Oct 03, 2018 11:28 am

Hi. This is in two parts:

Part the First - Can I be reanimated?

Part the Second - If I come back, will you go out with me?

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Re: Ask Ed

Post by ed » Wed Oct 03, 2018 11:45 am

Zombie Rob Lister wrote:
Wed Oct 03, 2018 11:28 am
Hi. This is in two parts:

Part the First - Can I be reanimated?
Yes, you have been you idiot, you are posting again.
Part the Second - If I come back, will you go out with me?
No. Ask Abdul.
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Re: Ask Ed

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Wed Oct 03, 2018 12:21 pm

I have no idea whether ed will go out with Lister or his reanimated corpse.

But I'm all for it. :)
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Re: Ask Ed

Post by ed » Wed Oct 03, 2018 12:22 pm

Was that a question?
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Re: Ask Ed

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Wed Oct 03, 2018 12:25 pm

OK. A question.

Why not go out with Lister's reanimated corpse? :p
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Re: Ask Ed

Post by ed » Wed Oct 03, 2018 2:09 pm

Abdul Alhazred wrote:
Wed Oct 03, 2018 12:25 pm
OK. A question.

Why not go out with Lister's reanimated corpse? :p
Three reasons:
1: the reanimated Lister smells worse than the original Lister
2: When alive, he had me freeze a non-functioning disk drive thus completely destroying it.
3: He recommended The Homesman <spit>

Conclusive, I would say.
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