I stink

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asthmatic camel
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I stink

Post by asthmatic camel » Wed Nov 21, 2018 2:49 pm

Of stale tobacco, stale booze, cheesy feet, knob cheese and horrible, smelly armpits.

I need a personal trainer.

Abdul and Bruce are my preferred options, as they're both gay but Doctor X will do.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: I stink

Post by ed » Wed Nov 21, 2018 3:15 pm

asthmatic camel wrote:
Wed Nov 21, 2018 2:49 pm
Of stale tobacco, stale booze, cheesy feet, knob cheese and horrible, smelly armpits.

I need a personal trainer.

Abdul and Bruce are my preferred options, as they're both gay but Doctor X will do.
You probably do need a personal trainer but that will not address your initial complaint.

For that you need
Image

Serious power washing.
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asthmatic camel
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Re: I stink

Post by asthmatic camel » Wed Nov 21, 2018 3:47 pm

So, you're gay, too?
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: I stink

Post by ed » Wed Nov 21, 2018 5:01 pm

?????????????????????

Huh?
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Re: I stink

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Wed Nov 21, 2018 5:08 pm

Interesting.

You think of something expensive and labor intensive, instead of the obvious.

A bath.

Or is that against your personal principles? :p
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Re: I stink

Post by ed » Wed Nov 21, 2018 6:21 pm

Abdul Alhazred wrote:
Wed Nov 21, 2018 5:08 pm
Interesting.

You think of something expensive and labor intensive, instead of the obvious.

A bath.

Or is that against your personal principles? :p

I created jobs boy-o.

It ever occur to you that my initials are DT?
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Re: I stink

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Wed Nov 21, 2018 6:59 pm

Delirium Tremens?
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Re: I stink

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Wed Nov 21, 2018 7:00 pm

Perhaps AC thinks bathing is gay just because the upper classes do it?
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Re: I stink

Post by ed » Wed Nov 21, 2018 7:05 pm

Probably. He is a brit after all.

Met a guy from central europe, like Borat come to think of it, who thought that not wearing socks was proof of gayness. You ever hear that? You wear socks??????
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Re: I stink

Post by Witness » Wed Nov 21, 2018 10:39 pm

Image

AC discovering water (artist's impression).

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Re: I stink

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Wed Nov 21, 2018 11:27 pm

George Orwell wrote: ... If you treat people as the English working class have been treated during the past two centuries, you must expect them to resent it. On the other hand the children of shabby-genteel families could not be blamed if they grew up with a hatred of the working class, typified for them by prowling gangs of 'cads'.

But there was another and more serious difficulty. Here you come to the real secret of class distinctions in the West--the real reason why a
European of bourgeois upbringing, even when he calls himself a Communist, cannot without a hard effort think of a working man as his equal. It is
summed up in four frightful words which people nowadays are chary of uttering, but which were bandied about quite freely in my childhood. The words were:

The lower classes smell.

That was what we were taught--the lower classes smell. And here, obviously, you are at an impassable barrier. For no feeling of like or
dislike is quite so fundamental as a physical feeling. Race-hatred, religious hatred, differences of education, of temperament, of intellect,
even differences of moral code, can be got over; but physical repulsion can-not. ...
Emphasis added. :)

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Re: I stink

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Wed Nov 21, 2018 11:40 pm

Of course AC went that school he told us about, so he can never really be a member of the lower classes no matter what else he may be. 8)

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Re: I stink

Post by Bruce » Thu Nov 22, 2018 2:57 am

I wouldn't want to be gay. Life is already a pain in the ass. Don't need a dick rooting around in there too.

As for the personal hygiene, I recommend...

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Re: I stink

Post by Bruce » Thu Nov 22, 2018 3:01 am

My boss bought me cologne one Christmas. Mrs Bruce didn't wait one second to say it. "Ah, so your boss thinks you stink too..."

:bricks:
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Re: I stink

Post by shemp » Thu Nov 22, 2018 3:06 am

There is one thing to be said for AC: he's not a Frenchman.
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Re: I stink

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Thu Nov 22, 2018 3:21 am

shemp wrote:
Thu Nov 22, 2018 3:06 am
There is one thing to be said for AC: he's not a Frenchman.
You will notice his description of his stinks does not include garlic. QED
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Re: I stink

Post by Doctor X » Thu Nov 22, 2018 3:30 am



Rule 3 "Don't smell worse than Sensei!"

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asthmatic camel
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Re: I stink

Post by asthmatic camel » Fri Nov 23, 2018 8:47 am

Abdul Alhazred wrote:
Wed Nov 21, 2018 5:08 pm
Interesting.

You think of something expensive and labor intensive, instead of the obvious.

A bath.

Or is that against your personal principles? :p
Abdul, i'm probably the cleanest man in Britain. I suffer from a form of dermatitis, which itches like fuck especially at night, so I spend most nights in a hot bath, which gives some relief.

And I still stink. :(
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: I stink

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Fri Nov 23, 2018 12:02 pm

Maybe it's more a psychological thing. That what you need is to feel good about your smell.

Freud was too much of a frustrated comedian and Jung was ... well ... a Gentile.

You need Doctor Adler.

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Re: I stink

Post by Witness » Sat Nov 24, 2018 2:15 am

Have you tried the reverse: drinking water and bathing in old single malt? :mrgreen: