I stink

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asthmatic camel
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Re: I stink

Post by asthmatic camel » Sat Nov 24, 2018 12:18 pm

I've tried everything, Witness, from deodorant to ultra-strong tooth wash, depilation etc. I've even tried giving up garlic so as not to reek like a French woman with hairy armpits.

I still stink.

:(
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: I stink

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Sat Nov 24, 2018 12:20 pm

Garlic?

Once you eat garlic, you will never smell like an Englishman again, Old Boy.

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Re: I stink

Post by Rob Lister » Sat Nov 24, 2018 12:46 pm

asthmatic camel wrote:
Sat Nov 24, 2018 12:18 pm
I've tried everything, Witness, from deodorant to ultra-strong tooth wash, depilation etc. I've even tried giving up garlic so as not to reek like a French woman with hairy armpits.

I still stink.

:(
Water is not the solution.

Image

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Re: I stink

Post by Anaxagoras » Sat Nov 24, 2018 1:08 pm

asthmatic camel wrote:
Fri Nov 23, 2018 8:47 am
Abdul Alhazred wrote:
Wed Nov 21, 2018 5:08 pm
Interesting.

You think of something expensive and labor intensive, instead of the obvious.

A bath.

Or is that against your personal principles? :p
Abdul, i'm probably the cleanest man in Britain. I suffer from a form of dermatitis, which itches like fuck especially at night, so I spend most nights in a hot bath, which gives some relief.

And I still stink. :(
I don't know what condition you have, but I would suspect that anything that makes your skin drier is counterproductive. (I have itchy skin too, particularly in the winter months.)
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Re: I stink

Post by Doctor X » Sat Nov 24, 2018 1:29 pm

Dermatology 101: If it is wet, dry it. If it is dry, wet it. And prescribe steroids.

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asthmatic camel
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Re: I stink

Post by asthmatic camel » Sat Nov 24, 2018 3:58 pm

Witness wrote:
Sat Nov 24, 2018 2:15 am
Have you tried the reverse: drinking water and bathing in old single malt? :mrgreen:
Nice idea but a little too much for my limited budget.

And I'd stink even worse than I already do.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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asthmatic camel
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Re: I stink

Post by asthmatic camel » Sat Nov 24, 2018 4:01 pm

Doctor X wrote:
Sat Nov 24, 2018 1:29 pm
Dermatology 101: If it is wet, dry it. If it is dry, wet it. And prescribe steroids.

--J.D.
I have steroid creams but can't use them continuously.

Not if I wish to keep my skin on.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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asthmatic camel
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Re: I stink

Post by asthmatic camel » Sat Nov 24, 2018 4:20 pm

Dermatology 102: It's believed to be seborrheic dermatitis, a condition I developed along with diabetes. Apparently, bacteria love to feast on excess blood sugar. Although I manage to keep my blood sugars down to near normal levels, near normal is not sufficient.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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asthmatic camel
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Re: I stink

Post by asthmatic camel » Tue Nov 27, 2018 6:05 am

I've thought about this and come to the conclusion that a diet of Vindaloo, Sea-Food Curry and Gorgonzola crackers might be the cause.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: I stink

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Tue Nov 27, 2018 1:12 pm

asthmatic camel wrote:
Tue Nov 27, 2018 6:05 am
I've thought about this and come to the conclusion that a diet of Vindaloo, Sea-Food Curry and Gorgonzola crackers might be the cause.
If that's the case, it's worth it. 8)

Ever had Mexican food?
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Any man writes a mission statement spends a night in the box.
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asthmatic camel
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Re: I stink

Post by asthmatic camel » Tue Nov 27, 2018 3:07 pm

Oh yeah! I make a mean vegetarian burrito.

I really stink after eating those. :)
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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asthmatic camel
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Re: I stink

Post by asthmatic camel » Tue Nov 27, 2018 3:38 pm

No word of a lie, when I worked at a bank, we all used to buy each another anonymous Christmas presents, all of which were mean. One year, I got a bulb of garlic and a packet of Clorets, (breath fresheners) with a typed note saying "When you eat this, eat these."

I, of course, laughed.

My colleague, a rather sensitive and incompetent typist, did not when she received a dictionary. Tears aplenty: I didn't know the female body could hold so much water. :D
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.

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Re: I stink

Post by Witness » Fri Nov 30, 2018 11:31 am

Happy birthday, AC. :)

He's nearly 300, now.

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Re: I stink

Post by sparks » Fri Nov 30, 2018 2:53 pm

Have yourself a scotch AC and try not to think about how old you are! :)
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.

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Re: I stink

Post by Doctor X » Fri Nov 30, 2018 3:59 pm

Get rid of the dead parrot in your handbag.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

WS CHAMPIONS X4!!!! NBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup! SB CHAMPIONS X5!!!!!