The generic text adventure thread.

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The generic text adventure thread.

Post by gnome » Fri May 01, 2009 12:08 am

Ok, here's how it works. People take turns posting, taking on the player or the computer's response, depending on what came last. Hilarity (or boredom) ensues.

For example: I post:
You find yourself in a wide clearing. There is a pile of leaves.
>_
Next poster:
> Move leaves
Next poster:
Under the leaves you find a banana peel.
>_
... and so forth, only with more embellishment as appropriate.

I recommend saving a placeholder first, so that if someone comes along while you're writing they'll know you intend to add to it already.

BEGIN:

QUARK I: The Great Underground Skeptical Community Empire

Copyright (c) 2009, Notinfocom, Inc. All rights reserved.

Revision 000001 / Serial number 4343434

A Crooked Path
You are walking along a stone path in a grassy valley. The path winds along the nadir of the valley, taking several turns along the way. The path continues north. To the east is a dirt path into a forest. To the west, an impassable mountain ridge. To the south, another dirt path leads to the small beach where you arrived.

There is a printed leaflet here.

>_
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2

CHARLEY_BIGTIME

Post by CHARLEY_BIGTIME » Fri May 01, 2009 12:14 am

>burn leaflet.

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Post by gnome » Fri May 01, 2009 12:19 am

What do you want to burn the leaflet with?
>_
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2

CHARLEY_BIGTIME

Post by CHARLEY_BIGTIME » Fri May 01, 2009 1:01 am

>Get leaflet
>Spontaneaously combust.

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Post by gnome » Fri May 01, 2009 1:11 am

You pick up the leaflet and scrunch up your face like Masi Oka, and are completely engulfed in a lack of flame. Nice try.
>_
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2

CHARLEY_BIGTIME

Post by CHARLEY_BIGTIME » Fri May 01, 2009 1:35 am

>Inv

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Post by Mulebear » Fri May 01, 2009 2:03 am

I'm sorry. I did not understand your mumbling. What is it that you would like to do:
A. Place leaflet in your liderhosen?
B. Roll up the leaflet to snort Cocaine.
C. Read leaflet
>_
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CHARLEY_BIGTIME

Post by CHARLEY_BIGTIME » Fri May 01, 2009 2:16 am

>Inventory. Dipshit.

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Post by Mentat » Fri May 01, 2009 2:16 am

Inventory: An old rusty sword.

>xyzzy

[edited because CB is a dipshit]
Last edited by Mentat on Fri May 01, 2009 2:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
It's "pea-can", man.

Lapis Sells . . . But Who's Buying?

CHARLEY_BIGTIME

Post by CHARLEY_BIGTIME » Fri May 01, 2009 2:18 am

FAIL.
>_

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Post by Mentat » Fri May 01, 2009 2:21 am

> Cast fire blast spell at leaflet
It's "pea-can", man.

Lapis Sells . . . But Who's Buying?

CHARLEY_BIGTIME

Post by CHARLEY_BIGTIME » Fri May 01, 2009 2:54 am

Who the fug are you? Gandalf?
>_

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Post by gnome » Fri May 01, 2009 4:01 am

>Read leaflet.

[Minor correction, inventory should include the leaflet as well I think?]
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
--Soldier, TF2

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Post by Mulebear » Fri May 01, 2009 4:03 am

On the leaflet the following words are written:

Find the wombat.
Only the wombat knows.

>_
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Post by Mentat » Fri May 01, 2009 11:37 am

>Look at back of leaflet
It's "pea-can", man.

Lapis Sells . . . But Who's Buying?

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Post by Mulebear » Fri May 01, 2009 1:25 pm

You turn the leaflet over. On the back is a list.

Eggs
Milk
Flour
Sugar
Bacon
Kleenex
Hand lotion
Whipping cream
>_
I [img]http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h95/mulebear/smilies/heart_icon.jpg[/img] Sonoma Bear

Recently someone accused me of being insensitive. And I thought, how did this fat bitch get her wheelchair up the stairs to my house?

CHARLEY_BIGTIME

Post by CHARLEY_BIGTIME » Fri May 01, 2009 3:09 pm

>East
>Cut branch off tree with rusty sword
>Pare into twigs
>rub sticks together
>create fire
>burn leaflet

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Post by Abdul Alhazred » Fri May 01, 2009 3:16 pm

Suddenly you are hit by a truck. You are dead.

Game over. You have 15467890 points.

Play again?






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Post by Rob Lister » Fri May 01, 2009 3:16 pm

Mulebear wrote:You turn the leaflet over. On the back is a list.

Eggs
Milk
Flour
Sugar
Bacon
Kleenex
Hand lotion
Whipping cream
>_
>Go south

CHARLEY_BIGTIME

Post by CHARLEY_BIGTIME » Fri May 01, 2009 3:20 pm

Rob Lister wrote:
Mulebear wrote:You turn the leaflet over. On the back is a list.

Eggs
Milk
Flour
Sugar
Bacon
Kleenex
Hand lotion
Whipping cream
>_
>Go south
Excuse me. You had seven minutes to read my post and respond accordingly.