Prayer is a gift that costs nothing

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Nyarlathotep
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Prayer is a gift that costs nothing

Postby Nyarlathotep » Sat Jun 18, 2016 9:34 pm

So a relative (and a couple of other people I know) posted one of those dumb chain statuses on Facebook this one all about praying for each other. It ends with the statement "Prayer is a gift that costs nothing"

Not wanting to cause trouble in my family, but I am sooooooooooo tempted to reply to every one of them with "Absolutely true. Prayer costs nothing. And you get what you pay for too"
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Re: Prayer is a gift that costs nothing

Postby Doctor X » Sat Jun 18, 2016 10:04 pm

"Unless you are praying for a sick child. You gain their college fund."

"Why I pray to Satan."

All sorts of evil and MEAN responses.

--J.D.
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Re: Prayer is a gift that costs nothing

Postby Pyrrho » Sat Jun 18, 2016 10:16 pm

Gives them the illusion of caring and doing something without having to. Couple of mouse button clicks and you're rated A-1 to go to Heaven in a handbasket.
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

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Re: Prayer is a gift that costs nothing

Postby shemp » Sat Jun 18, 2016 10:48 pm

Join the Church of ShempTM. Shemp answers all prayers. Shemp will save your filthy heathen scum soul.
"It is not I who is mad! It is I who is crazy!" -- Ren Hoek

"[... it seems most strange that... ] the Creator of Heaven and Earth resorted to the womb of a certain Jewish lady, grew there for nine months and was born as an infant, and afterwards grew up and was betrayed into the hands of his enemies who sentenced him to death and executed him, and that afterwards... he came to life and returned to his original place. The mind of a Jew, or any other person, simply cannot tolerate these assertions. If you have listened all your life to the priests who have filled your brain and the marrow of your bones with this doctrine, and it has settled into you because of that accustomed habit. [I would argue that if you were hearing these ideas for the first time, now, as a grown adult], you would never have accepted them." -- Rabbi Moses ben Nahman, defending the Talmud at the Disputation of Barcelona, July 1263.

"God is the supreme excuse for human adults to absolve themselves of any obligation to preserve natural resources for their own children during their lifetime." -- Gene Ray

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Re: Prayer is a gift that costs nothing

Postby Pyrrho » Sat Jun 18, 2016 11:12 pm

Save it for what?
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

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Re: Prayer is a gift that costs nothing

Postby sparks » Sat Jun 18, 2016 11:18 pm

An eternity of supplication and ass kissing to the fuckwad Shemp, of course.
Nice things? Hell no!

Board Crumbmuffin.

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Re: Prayer is a gift that costs nothing

Postby Pyrrho » Sat Jun 18, 2016 11:25 pm

Hmmph. Could be worse.
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Re: Prayer is a gift that costs nothing

Postby shemp » Sat Jun 18, 2016 11:55 pm

Pyrrho wrote:Save it for what?


I will save yours to hollow out and use as a condom when I fuck Satan.
"It is not I who is mad! It is I who is crazy!" -- Ren Hoek

"[... it seems most strange that... ] the Creator of Heaven and Earth resorted to the womb of a certain Jewish lady, grew there for nine months and was born as an infant, and afterwards grew up and was betrayed into the hands of his enemies who sentenced him to death and executed him, and that afterwards... he came to life and returned to his original place. The mind of a Jew, or any other person, simply cannot tolerate these assertions. If you have listened all your life to the priests who have filled your brain and the marrow of your bones with this doctrine, and it has settled into you because of that accustomed habit. [I would argue that if you were hearing these ideas for the first time, now, as a grown adult], you would never have accepted them." -- Rabbi Moses ben Nahman, defending the Talmud at the Disputation of Barcelona, July 1263.

"God is the supreme excuse for human adults to absolve themselves of any obligation to preserve natural resources for their own children during their lifetime." -- Gene Ray

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Re: Prayer is a gift that costs nothing

Postby Nyarlathotep » Sun Jun 19, 2016 12:03 am

Pyrrho wrote:Gives them the illusion of caring and doing something without having to. Couple of mouse button clicks and you're rated A-1 to go to Heaven in a handbasket.


Yep. One of my nieces loves to post things like pictures of Jebus with captions like "Like and share if you love Jesus. Ignore for Satan"

Tried explaining how clickfarming works, but to no avail, she still posts this bullshit all the time. It's the religious equivalent of slacktivism, far easier to click "like" on a picture of Jesus than to live an admirable life, help other people or any of that bullshit.
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Re: Prayer is a gift that costs nothing

Postby Nyarlathotep » Sun Jun 19, 2016 12:05 am

shemp wrote:Join the Church of ShempTM. Shemp answers all prayers. Shemp will save your filthy heathen scum soul.


Sorry, already a member of The Church of Starry Wisdom, you heretic
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Re: Prayer is a gift that costs nothing

Postby shemp » Sun Jun 19, 2016 12:20 am

Nyarlathotep wrote:
shemp wrote:Join the Church of ShempTM. Shemp answers all prayers. Shemp will save your filthy heathen scum soul.


Sorry, already a member of The Church of Starry Wisdom, you heretic


I will send you postcards in Hell.
"It is not I who is mad! It is I who is crazy!" -- Ren Hoek

"[... it seems most strange that... ] the Creator of Heaven and Earth resorted to the womb of a certain Jewish lady, grew there for nine months and was born as an infant, and afterwards grew up and was betrayed into the hands of his enemies who sentenced him to death and executed him, and that afterwards... he came to life and returned to his original place. The mind of a Jew, or any other person, simply cannot tolerate these assertions. If you have listened all your life to the priests who have filled your brain and the marrow of your bones with this doctrine, and it has settled into you because of that accustomed habit. [I would argue that if you were hearing these ideas for the first time, now, as a grown adult], you would never have accepted them." -- Rabbi Moses ben Nahman, defending the Talmud at the Disputation of Barcelona, July 1263.

"God is the supreme excuse for human adults to absolve themselves of any obligation to preserve natural resources for their own children during their lifetime." -- Gene Ray

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Re: Prayer is a gift that costs nothing

Postby Nyarlathotep » Sun Jun 19, 2016 12:21 am

That will be very nice of you. Thanks Shemp. You are a pal.
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Re: Prayer is a gift that costs nothing

Postby Witness » Sun Jun 19, 2016 1:14 am

Prayer, the Universal Christian Magical Placebo®.

Cures all ailments, even those of the prescriber!


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