Signs of the impending apocalypse

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby Grammatron » Wed Sep 20, 2017 7:29 pm

All Abrahamic religions are apocalyptic so no surprise.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby Doctor X » Wed Sep 20, 2017 11:45 pm

Welllllllllll . . . I never liked the term "Abrahamic religions" since it implies a direct kinship I do not accept. That is being persnickety, I confess, but there were so many "non-Abrahamic" influences and none of them were monolithic entities. For example, it is impossible to speak about "Judaism" as if it was one thing, certainly one that exists today.

All that aside, the Judaisms as preserved in the biblical texts were not apocalyptic by and large.

That being written, there certainly was various apocalyptic moments as we would understand it, and there is Huge Books Full of the extra-biblical literature on the subject: its rise, influence, and all of that. A fun question to consider is how apocalyptic Judaism was in the Roman period particularly amongst "da peoples."

The big question for Christian studies--of many "big questions"--is how apocalyptic the Historical Junior was. The Synoptic Gospels are, by and large, but they are late, and I have pontificated sufficiently on how dangerous it is to assume they have any actual relationship with the Historical Junior. Sure, the Historical Junior became utterly irrelevant for the various movements--see Paul.

Take a common quote that some scholars will grant historicity since it would explain him getting hung up on a tree: the vow to destroy the Temple and rebuild it. What does that mean? Some have gone so far as to suggest he went to the Temple, tried a miracle or actual attack, and the Romans squished it. The only problem with that, as I have bloviated previously, is the Romans clearly did NOT stamp out the movement.

Is that "apocalyptic?" Modern conceptions tied into Revelation then expansions that include things like "the Rapture" which are not in Revelation imagine an "Earth-Ending" event which . . . is . . . also not in apocalypses. Just like Creation Myths often involve re-ordering rather than actual creation, apocalypses tend to involve a reordering of the world-order or at least local voting district: "roll up a scroll."

"The Event" for Christianity, in a way, with all of the traditional scholars still masturbating over "kerygma" notwithstanding, was the Squishing of Jerusalem which sort of demonstrated what the Romans do when you "become difficult." Which brings us to:

Islam. Must confess my research into Islam is quite lax in comparison. I cannot list Arabic amongst my list of languages of which I am functionally illiterate Image I cannot personally pontificate as to whether or not Islam began apocalyptic or apocalysm crept into it or its various branches over time.

Nevertheless, one of the attractions to religions is "This World That Sucks Will End and We Who Suck Will be Awesome and Fuck Chad." The idea of an apocalypse has become a major part of most Christianities I know of. Judaism? Not really.

The Danish and Icelanders are still waiting for Ragnarøkkr. . . .

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby Abdul Alhazred » Wed Sep 20, 2017 11:53 pm

Judaism as it exists today is not a monolithic entity either. :)
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby Anaxagoras » Fri Sep 22, 2017 8:49 am

A lot of apocalypse-mongers out there:

A Wave of Prophecies That the World Is Ending Saturday May Not Be Correct, It Turns Out

Hurricanes, earthquakes, sinkholes, rising seas, the threat of nuclear annihilation: It doesn’t take a doomsday prophet to know we’re living in unstable times. It does, however, take a doomsday prophet to predict the exact date of our obliteration. And sure enough, several fringe Christian prophets are now claiming the apocalypse is coming on Saturday.

. . .



YouTube is crowded with videos making similar claims: The date will bring “Israel’s new beginning,” the “firestorm of the Golden Empire,” and the most significant astronomical convergence “since Adam and Eve.” Another “missionary evangelist” breaks out a whiteboard to sketch out a complex timeline involving Abraham, the death of Jesus, Israel’s Six-Day War, and the Balfour Declaration—all leading up to Saturday. Some of the videos have millions of views.

These prophets’ predictions are based on a creative reading of the 12th chapter in the New Testament book of Revelation. To make a trippy story short, the passage goes something like this: A pregnant woman gives birth to a son and flees to the wilderness for 1,260 days. War breaks out in heaven between angels and a dragon; the dragon retreats to Earth and chases the woman. She suddenly develops eaglelike wings and flees to the wilderness again, and the dragon ends the chapter angry and standing on the beach. Yadda yadda yadda, the apocalypse starts on Sept. 23, 2017.


Tomorrow! :o
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby Doctor X » Fri Sep 22, 2017 8:54 am

Dibs on your stereos.

--J.D.

P.S. This was all suppose to happen a good ~1,80000 [Stop it!--Ed.] years ago.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby Anaxagoras » Fri Sep 22, 2017 8:59 am

The Jehovah's Witlesses are still going strong! I'm sure the forthcoming excuses will work as well as they have before.
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby Doctor X » Fri Sep 22, 2017 9:32 am

Funny thing is early millenarists predicted the end in 1873, which did not happen, so some concluded that Junior returned but we just did not notice!

There has been a long history of retrofitting failed prophecies.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby Abdul Alhazred » Fri Sep 22, 2017 9:33 am

Anaxagoras wrote:The Jehovah's Witlesses are still going strong! I'm sure the forthcoming excuses will work as well as they have before.


Each failed prophesy is a "winnowing".

Those who remain are the most gullible. Then they start the next round.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby Abdul Alhazred » Fri Sep 22, 2017 9:34 am

Doctor X wrote:Funny thing is early millenarists predicted the end in 1873, which did not happen, so some concluded that Junior returned but we just did not notice!


That's what the JWs did in 1914.

So they were following a precedent. 8)
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby Anaxagoras » Fri Sep 22, 2017 9:44 am

1914 was actually a fairly apocalyptic year. A big war broke out that year.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby Doctor X » Fri Sep 22, 2017 9:53 am

Anaxagoras wrote:1914 was actually a fairly apocalyptic year. A big war broke out that year.


EXPLAIN THAT?!!1!!!

. . . or . . .

WERE YOU THERE?!11!!

I have not bothered to see how many people have tired to work The Lone Fat Boy in to either 666 or 616. Trump is pretty easy.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby Abdul Alhazred » Fri Sep 22, 2017 1:36 pm

Anaxagoras wrote:1914 was actually a fairly apocalyptic year. A big war broke out that year.


They try to retconn that is what Pastor Russell predicted, but really he did say the return of Jesus Christ.

Well He did so return. Invisibly you see. :notsure:
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby Witness » Fri Sep 22, 2017 9:53 pm

Abdul Alhazred wrote:Well He did so return. Invisibly you see. :notsure:

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I'm disappoint!!! :x

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby Anaxagoras » Sat Sep 23, 2017 4:48 am

Today's the big day!

Anyone notice anything apocalypticeyish happening yet?
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby Doctor X » Sat Sep 23, 2017 4:53 am

I switched on the telly and it turned on RIGHT at the beginning of the scene where Nigel introduces the Marshall amps that go to eleven!11!!!ty!111!

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby ed » Sat Sep 23, 2017 11:39 am

Doctor X wrote:The Danish and Icelanders are still waiting for Ragnarøkkr. . . .

--J.D.


Their wait is over!!


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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby Rob Lister » Sat Sep 23, 2017 5:22 pm

Anaxagoras wrote:Today's the big day!

Anyone notice anything apocalypticeyish happening yet?


I do have a bit of a headache. That could be a sign.

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby Doctor X » Sun Sep 24, 2017 7:17 am

Unfortunately, I predict:

Image

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel

WS CHAMPIONS X3!!! NBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup! SB CHAMPIONS X5!!!!!

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby Witness » Sun Sep 24, 2017 10:55 pm

Image
Besides analyzing the dsytopian shift in popular culture, Joustra and Wilkinson also suggest how Christians can live faithfully and with integrity in such a cultural context.
:mrgreen:

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Postby Bruce » Thu Sep 28, 2017 3:42 am

Let's see what's in the news today....

Millennials ruining America because.......meh, flavor of the week.
Puerto Rico wiped off the map and Americans could give a crap because they're not even a state. Meh.
Madman launches nuclear missiles over Japan - again? Meh.
Flint Michigan still doesn't have clean water. Meh.
Trump calls NFL players disrespectful for kneeling during the national anthem......

.....WHAT!?! Bunch of entertainers disrespecting the President of the United States of America?!? And their handlers are joining them in support?? That's Apocalypse material right there. We can't just have a national pastime interrupted like that with political mumbo jumbo. We have to make sure this is the number one newsworthy topic for discussion for at least a week, or until something more important comes along, like maybe Katy Perry shaving her head or Justin Beiber getting another DUI or something.
Such potential!


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