The Triumph of Canaan

Hot topics in delusion and rationalization.
User avatar
Doctor X
Posts: 67061
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 8:09 pm
Title: Collective Messiah
Location: Your Mom
Has thanked: 3317 times
Been thanked: 2093 times

The Triumph of Canaan

Post by Doctor X » Tue Aug 01, 2017 6:59 pm

In the past I have pontificated on the myth of the Conquest in the Hebrew Bible. I quite literally stumbl'd over an article which concluded:
A paper about the study in the American Journal of Human Genetics said that there had been “uncertainties” about the fate of the Canaanites.

“The Bible reports the destruction of the Canaanite cities and the annihilation of its people; if true, the Canaanites could not have directly contributed genetically to present-day populations,” the researchers wrote.

“However, no archaeological evidence has so far been found to support widespread destruction of Canaanite cities between the Bronze and Iron Ages: cities on the Levant coast such as Sidon and Tyre show continuity of occupation until the present day.

“We show that present-day Lebanese derive most of their ancestry from a Canaanite-related population, which therefore implies substantial genetic continuity in the Levant since at least the Bronze Age.”

Independent
--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

WS CHAMPIONS X3!!! NBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup! SB CHAMPIONS X5!!!!!
2

User avatar
Nyarlathotep
Posts: 47574
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 2:50 pm
Has thanked: 773 times
Been thanked: 1426 times

Re: The Triumph of Canaan

Post by Nyarlathotep » Tue Aug 01, 2017 8:06 pm

What.

Inaccuracies? In the Bible? Get outta here.
Bango Skank Awaits The Crimson King!

User avatar
Doctor X
Posts: 67061
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 8:09 pm
Title: Collective Messiah
Location: Your Mom
Has thanked: 3317 times
Been thanked: 2093 times

Re: The Triumph of Canaan

Post by Doctor X » Tue Aug 01, 2017 8:11 pm

You have no idea.

I just dealt with a Fool who claimed the KJV was the "original" Bible.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

WS CHAMPIONS X3!!! NBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup! SB CHAMPIONS X5!!!!!
2

User avatar
Abdul Alhazred
Posts: 70278
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2004 1:33 pm
Title: Yes, that one.
Location: Chicago
Has thanked: 3028 times
Been thanked: 1134 times

Re: The Triumph of Canaan

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Tue Aug 01, 2017 8:37 pm

Nyarlathotep wrote:What.

Inaccuracies? In the Bible? Get outta here.
But a particularly interesting inaccuracy from a modern perspective.

The big slaughter committed by the Jews on the original inhabitants of Canaan turns out to be a tall tale they made up. And the original inhabitants in question were just some of their ancestors. Peaceful commerce and wimpy shit like that.

You wouldn't want your kids to grow up thinking your ancestors went around moving into places and not slaughtering the original inhabitants, would you? :)

Plenty of real slaughter later of course.
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
Any man writes a mission statement spends a night in the box.
-- our mission statement plappendale

User avatar
xouper
Posts: 8573
Joined: Fri Jun 11, 2004 4:52 am
Location: HockeyTown USA
Has thanked: 210 times
Been thanked: 114 times

Re: The Triumph of Canaan

Post by xouper » Tue Aug 01, 2017 9:31 pm

I'm curious. Where in the Bible does it say the Caananites were completely destroyed?

As I understand it (please correct me if I got it wrong), God commanded them to destroy the Caananites, but they did not actually destroy them all.

What about Judges 1 and 2 that says not all the Caananites were destroyed?

What am I missing here?

User avatar
xouper
Posts: 8573
Joined: Fri Jun 11, 2004 4:52 am
Location: HockeyTown USA
Has thanked: 210 times
Been thanked: 114 times

Re: The Triumph of Canaan

Post by xouper » Tue Aug 01, 2017 9:33 pm

Doctor X wrote:I just dealt with a Fool who claimed the KJV was the "original" Bible.
"If the King's English is good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me." :shock:

(Or so says the bumper sticker.)

User avatar
Abdul Alhazred
Posts: 70278
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2004 1:33 pm
Title: Yes, that one.
Location: Chicago
Has thanked: 3028 times
Been thanked: 1134 times

Re: The Triumph of Canaan

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Tue Aug 01, 2017 10:01 pm

There's a school of thought among some English speaking fundies that the King James translators were divinely "guided" (not "inspired" which would be heresy).
Image "If I turn in a sicko, will I get a reward?"

"Yes! A BIG REWARD!" ====> Click here to turn in a sicko
Any man writes a mission statement spends a night in the box.
-- our mission statement plappendale