War on Christmas, 2017 edition

[Pyrrho]

What about Orthodox Christmas? Pagan.

[Witness]

Besides, your Fu Manchu avatar does not particularly lend itself to the seasonal treatment.

Lots of secret rules on this forum!

[Doctor X]

WASHINGTON — In a heartbreaking turn of events, the Marine Corps burst into tears yesterday when Army broke the news that Gen. James Mattis is just a story created to inspire the troops, sources confirmed today.

“Look, I know you’ve believed in ‘ole Chaos Mattis for years, but you’re old enough to know better — Mattis isn’t real,” Army said with a smirk.

Upon hearing the news, the Corps’ eyes got really wide, and its mouth slowly dropped open.

Army continued the attack on the Corps’ beloved bringer of motivation, saying, “The SecDef is just some random guy in a Mattis tie trained to say terrifying things like ‘sometimes you just need to punch a terrorist in the throat’ and ‘I will kill you with my eyes closed.’”

Navy added, “There never really was a Mattis. He was just a narrative made up by [former Commandant] Gen. Krulak to inspire you to do your best and be nice to Air Force.”

After Army remarked that a retired Coast Guard officer had been writing the Mattis quotes for the last 15 years, the Marine Corps shouted “I hate you!” and ran to its room and cried its eyes out.

When reached for comment later in the day, the newly disillusioned Corps told reporters, “I just always thought he was real. I guess maybe I knew all along though. He couldn’t be at CentCom and the Pentagon and my PME school graduation all at the same time.”

At press time, Army was seen hanging around at Toys for Tots events, telling children Santa isn’t real either.

Duffleblog

--J.D.

[Pyrrho]

[Pyrrho]

[Pyrrho]

The Original War on Christmas

https://www.fastcodesign.com/3024022/ho ... -christmas

How Hitler Tried To Redesign Christmas
When the Nazis took power in 1933, Christmas was one of their first targets. Not even Santa was safe.

KILLING OFF JESUS & SANTA
Hitler’s propaganda war on Christmas by no means ended there. He also set out to get the “Christ” out of Christmas. Unlike in English, Christmas is called Weihnachten in German, so the actual name of the holiday did not require modification to suit the goals of an anti-clerical Führer. Even so, the Nazis preferred a different name for Christmas: Rauhnacht, the Rough Night, which had a tantalizing hint of violence to it.

THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS FUTURE
By 1939, just six years after Hitler came to power, Christmas had been totally transformed into a tool of Nazi propaganda. A contemporary article asserts that “when we celebrate a German Christmas, we include in the circle of the family all those who are of German blood, and who affirm their German ethnicity, all those who came before us and who will come after us, all those whom fate did not allow to live within the borders of our Reich, or who are doing their duty in foreign lands amidst foreign peoples.”

[Doctor X]

He still allowed balloon sculpture, because he was not a savage. . . .

--J.D.

[Witness]

The Original War on Christmas

https://www.fastcodesign.com/3024022/ho ... -christmas

I have many doubts about this article.

Hitler’s propaganda war on Christmas by no means ended there. He also set out to get the “Christ” out of Christmas. Unlike in English, Christmas is called Weihnachten in German, so the actual name of the holiday did not require modification to suit the goals of an anti-clerical Führer.

AFAIK Hitler had no clearly anticlerical position. What buggered the Nazis was of course the Jewish component in Christianity; and they tried to bend the Christian rituals to comply with Nazi newspeak/ideology.

Even so, the Nazis preferred a different name for Christmas: Rauhnacht, the Rough Night, which had a tantalizing hint of violence to it.

Actually the official term was Julnacht, or Julfest (cf. Yule). And the etymology, albeit debated, is not "rough" but either a reference to middle high German rûch (something like "shaggy") or Rauch ("smoke") referring to incense. (See https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rauhnacht and https://anthrowiki.at/Raun%C3%A4chte, but it's German.)

By 1939, just six years after Hitler came to power, Christmas had been totally transformed into a tool of Nazi propaganda. A contemporary article asserts that “when we celebrate a German Christmas, we include in the circle of the family all those who are of German blood, and who affirm their German ethnicity, all those who came before us and who will come after us, all those whom fate did not allow to live within the borders of our Reich, or who are doing their duty in foreign lands amidst foreign peoples.”

Not at all. Church membership was 95% before the war, and the same afterwards. (Cf. https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nationalsozialistischer_Weihnachtskult.)
Deducing that from one NS propaganda leaflet is a bit of a stretch…

The interplay between Weihnachten/Christmas, Rauhnächte/Yule and Nazi symbolism & ideology is interesting, but quite complex and I'm no folklorist. Instead have a romantic view of the Wild Hunt (strangely called "chasse galerie" in French) meant to happen in the woods during these nights (so you better stayed home ):


Clearly that's Bruce in the foreground, left of center!


I also googled for Nazis+Rauhnacht. The curious result was that, apart from a Neonazi/pagan site in German (which I didn't click), all the hits referred to pages in English, French or Spanish. And with very similar titles.
Clearly there is some half-baked Urtext out there from where they all drew their "science".

[Witness]

Topless Femen activist tries to snatch Jesus statue from Vatican crib

Video at the link: https://www.reuters.com/article/us-christmas-season-femen-vatican/topless-femen-activist-tries-to-snatch-jesus-statue-from-vatican-crib-idUSKBN1EJ0O2

[Pyrrho]

[Pyrrho]

[Pyrrho]

Chuck Wendig
@ChuckWendig

ALL RIGHT

CHRISTMAS IS OVER

SANTA HAS AGAIN BEEN SLAIN BEFORE HE COULD STEAL OUR CHILDREN

CHRIST HAS BEEN KEPT IN CHRISTMAS, TRAPPED AGAIN FOR ANOTHER YEAR

WE HAVE HARVESTED THE YULETIDE COAL FROM CLAUS' BONES

BACK TO WORK, EVERYONE, BACK TO WORK

[Witness]

[Anaxagoras]

Haters be hatin'.

What. Ever.

[Abdul Alhazred]

Those are soldiers. Sure as hell not Department of Corrections.

[Abdul Alhazred]

Haters be hatin'.

What. Ever.

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