shuize wrote: ↑
Thu Sep 13, 2018 2:48 am
Anaxagoras wrote: ↑
Thu Sep 13, 2018 12:11 am
... Or you can just see it as a risk worth taking.
If a woman says, "Oh, I thought you were going to pay" and walks away, she's far more likely to get away with it.
If I were his lawyer, I'd tell him to start identifying as a woman.
I think it's equally wrong whether a woman does it or a man. I can only speak for myself.
My advice for both men and women who don't want to fall victim to this is to clarify who is going to pay for the meal before you order. And tell the waiter or waitress too. "We'll have separate checks please." That way there can be no "Oh, I thought you were going to pay." Problem solved.
I'm not going to say "Since some women have gotten away with this in the past, therefore this man should be allowed to get away with it too."
In a way, this is like the Serena Williams thing the other day. She thought that she was being unfairly singled out because of her gender because (allegedy) "a man would be allowed to get away with it." It wasn't true, in fact. It was reported
that the same umpire had given similar warnings to male players. He's well-known for being a "stickler" for the rules. And not just for women and not just for Serena Williams.
So my argument here is similar to Martina Navratilova's
point about Serena Williams: bad behavior by one person cannot justify bad behavior by another.
I don’t believe it’s a good idea to apply a standard of “If men can get away with it, women should be able to, too.”
I agree with that, as well as its corollary: It's also not a good idea to apply a standard of “If women can get away with it, men should be able to, too.” Instead, let's see what we can do so that nobody gets away with it.
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.