The Cloverfield Paradox

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Re: The Cloverfield Paradox

Postby Nyarlathotep » Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:53 pm

Yeah, I think they really hit a perfect forumula with it. Everything hit just right and if anything had really changed it wouldn't have been as good. I remember Jen's "Stevie Nicks" phase. I also remember her dating "That guy who looks like a magician". That's another one that cracked me up.

They talked about doing an American version. It would have had the same actor playing Moss, but the guy that played Jeff in Community as Roy. Not sure if "Snarky but charismatic" would work as well as the kind of sad-sack everyman played by the real Roy.
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Re: The Cloverfield Paradox

Postby ed » Wed Feb 07, 2018 2:30 am

You Irish crack me up
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Re: The Cloverfield Paradox

Postby Doctor X » Fri Feb 09, 2018 8:55 am

I would agree that Black Books was better than The Cloverfield Paradox.

The problem with TCP is it comes off like a 1980s-90s "sci-fi" film staring Michael Jansen and That Guy from Road Warrior/Metal Storm: The Destruction of Jared Syn without the random boobs and boinking or even Sandahl Bergman.

It really contrives the "we need to remove cast members." So, like, we will fill up a room . . . with water . . . in SPACE because space stations carry that much water in such a manner it can fill a room you cannot open and, somehow, generate enough pressure to break fucking airlock doors! Granted, the actress was annoying, so there is that. You also do not get "sucked out." The Australian Farscape played with the fact that, yes, you can survive a bit in space.

No one in that was involved in this, unfortunately.

I digress.

It links with 10 Cloverfield Lane after a fashion, which makes it a The Mist ripoff.

The Japanese Original Cloverfield?

Not at all. One has to totally reconfigure that film and/or pretend "it another dimension!" The Japanese Original Cloverfield does not have countries on the verge of war because of an energy crisis, nor The Myst-like creatures wandering about.

Fans have been clamoring for a sequel/prequel/something-quel to Cloverfield for nearly a decade. J.J. Adams got too busy shitting on Star Trek, Star Wars, and a Bunch of Super Heroes. So this is Mad Max tossing the near-empty dog food can towards the Gyro Pilot.

Farscape had the Gryo Pilot. So did Finding Nemo.

TCP did not have Bruce Spence.

I would agree that Event Horizon is far more entertaining since it has Damian, Ike Turner, and That Girl from The Patriot who lost her head in The Affair of the Necklace.

That and it inspired "A Critter Christmas."

--J. "BLOOD ORGY!!" D.
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Re: The Cloverfield Paradox

Postby Nyarlathotep » Fri Feb 09, 2018 3:29 pm

But I think the non-Japanese original Cloverfield really WAS supposed to be another dimension. Literally.

At the beginning of the movie, they have the Alex Jones expy talk about how turning the machine off and back on again would unleash havoc in the past, future and other dimensions. Thus implying the events of past and future Cloverfield movies were the result of said havoc. This creates a very convenient explanation for every plot hole, disconnect, etc from here on in. "Different dimension"
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Re: The Cloverfield Paradox

Postby Doctor X » Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:07 pm

Yeah.

Pretty weak "BUT IT ALL A DREAM" stupidity.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel

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Re: The Cloverfield Paradox

Postby Nyarlathotep » Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:32 pm

Doctor X wrote:Yeah.

Pretty weak "BUT IT ALL A DREAM" stupidity.

--J.D.


The whole damned movie was an exercise in "pretty weak". Why would that be different?
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Re: The Cloverfield Paradox

Postby Doctor X » Fri Feb 09, 2018 9:30 pm

I liked the first one, of course. It had a pure basic idea: "America's Godzilla." Then have it from the perspective of the peoples with no "big actors." Throw in tiny conspiracy references that fit a viral marketing campaign that I did not actually watch before seeing the movie.

The problem, other than asking J.J. Abrams to "lens flair" all of Your Childhood so he got busy, what "where" to go after that. Explaining exactly "where" Clover came from or even if "it" is still alive. When you do that, you basically piss-off everyone who have better explanations in their mind: see Indiana Jones and the Last Cashgrab.

Nicholos Meyer mentions that with regards to why KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN does not remove his glove: "it looks weird!" he told Ricardo Montebahnleldekurt. In answer to fan questions he would ask them why they thought he does not and if knowing "the answer" made them feel better. Same with his film Time After Time: Falco The Incarnation of Evil Jack the Ripper has a woman's picture in his watch. Why? Because it looks cool and makes you wonder.

So a lot of the Japanese Original had elements of that people could talk about and theorize.

The "semi-sequel" was an above average. Walter plays psycho well, and Mary the Thing from that Stupid Film with that Stupid Not Funny Guy is good about trying not to look like a sex-symbol in every role. She insisted she do The Thing without make-up and much hairstyling because . . . woman . . . graduate student . . . in Antarctica? Should she have stiletto heels?

So she looks like a "normal" woman.

Now, is it a "good film?" To a point. What is nice is to a point it does not readily answer "what" is going on nor does it fully confirm that Mr. Roseanne murdered a girl. Did he take the girl he started referring to as his daughter as a replacement then "something happened?" It is never told. So what were his plans for Mary? But then you do find out that "something" did happen so it is not a simple "everything is fine I'm in a bunker with a psycho" film.




Then the ending.



The ending.

Did you know that your femur heals faster than your radius? Which you can easily close-reduce with, especially if the damage also includes your tibial plateeau? And if you are dropped in a truck a good hundred feet you can . . . just . . . walk away?

Ultimately, it is a rip-off of The Myst which was a far better movie. Even did the "we need to get rid of people" better.

*Puts down coffee*

THIS film. It is a film of COMPLETE IDIOTS. You have Random Gram Ruskie who does not seem to concerned he has worms in his skin. And, no, that will not cause you to explode. Though if someone transmits a few pounds of worms in you along with a large Gyro-Thingy-SCIENCE you probably are not walking around much.

You would think, immediately, someone would check a star-chart. They do not do this until hours later . . . "IT'S UPSIDE DOWN!" Uh . . . okay . . . is Betty working for them? Maybe the ship is upside-down? Or do you mean everything is like an anantimer . . . enantimer . . . amnemonie . . . a chiral partner?

Who gives a fuck?

Meanwhile, it appears ALL of the money was spent on CGI rather than, well, acting, script, plot. So I'm Irish but I Keep Forgetting to Speak in a Brogue Even Though I Actually AM Irish and How Wacky Am I sticking his arm in a wall so . . . his . . . arm . . . is replaced . . . by . . . his "Other's" arm . . . because . . . this is a plan? Is his arm in the "Other Ship" jacking off Schmidt?

Oh and hey, you know what is harder to learn than English? Fucking Chinese! Learn English, Bitch! I get it, after two years everyone learns, but they why does she not speak some English? We are So Culturally Diverse!

Oh and cities are being destroyed, but you can still drive your car, and fortunately cellphone towers are unaffected.

Watching it, I "enjoyed" it much like I laughed and enjoyed Even Horizon, Ghost Ship, and many other Embarrassment to Our Species Level Stupid film. Heck, it is about the level of the Japanese Original Resident Evil except that had Marc Hap Anthony, Mila Jovavichsomething--whom you have to give credit to for never getting the silicon--and that Hispanic Chick We All Like.

Did I miss something?

*Fires Up Espresso Machine*

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel

WS CHAMPIONS X3!!! NBA CHAMPIONS!! Stanley Cup! SB CHAMPIONS X5!!!!!


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