Punch out your fiancee? They will give you a standing ovation in mini-camp then only consider limiting your carries when a video of you punching out your fiancee forces even Roger "What's Wrong Honey?" Goodell to sit with the groundlings at a Divisional Playoff Game between THE SOON TO BE CHAMPION NE Deflatriots and the Baltimore I Done TOLD You to SHUT UPs.
No warm luxury box with Robert "Jonathan?! JONATHAN!" Kraft and Suitably Underage Girlfriends You Can Afford when You are a Billionaire or Friend of a Billionaire:
"Why the fuck are we here in the cold again?"
"I have to show I am One of the People who is Concerned with women being beaten by Ravens players, honey."
"And why the fuck am I here, specifically?
"Because I support women, despite all appearances."
"Megyn Kelly doesn't have to put up with this shit."
"You don't have Megyn's tits."
to sternly suspend the guy for, like, the halftime show.
So the Wanton Lawlessness of the Baltimore Ravens remains legendary!
What was this about again? Shiny! Oh wait! I remember:
Arrested for a DUI Baltimore player Bernard Pierce predicted that he would be released by the morning like the last player arrested for a DUI.
And he was.
Cut by the Ravens the next morning.
At least he did not punch anyone out . . . or deflate his balls . . . I digress. . . .
1Or when Robert Kraft met him at a charity function, "So you're the guy who imitates me?" His son--"JONATHAN!"--and the rest of the family did admit to the comedian later that, "yeah, that's him!" He is also been known to call in as Terry "Tito" Francona when Red Sox players were on. Fooled Schilling and PedrOYA! Francona, driving, heard one example and thought, "when the fuck did I do that interview and why was I so stupid?"