 |  | | Best friends are teh evil |
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 Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 1:06 am |
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| Anaxagoras |
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| Joined: 19 Mar 2008 |
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| Location: Yokohama/Tokyo, Japan |
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Postmodern educators say that kids should not have "best friends"
Because that leads to cliques and bullying and social exclusion. 
| Quote: | Most children naturally seek close friends. In a survey of nearly 3,000 Americans ages 8 to 24 conducted last year by Harris Interactive, 94 percent said they had at least one close friend. But the classic best-friend bond — the two special pals who share secrets and exploits, who gravitate to each other on the playground and who head out the door together every day after school — signals potential trouble for school officials intent on discouraging anything that hints of exclusivity, in part because of concerns about cliques and bullying.
“I think it is kids’ preference to pair up and have that one best friend. As adults — teachers and counselors — we try to encourage them not to do that,” said Christine Laycob, director of counseling at Mary Institute and St. Louis Country Day School in St. Louis. “We try to talk to kids and work with them to get them to have big groups of friends and not be so possessive about friends.”
“Parents sometimes say Johnny needs that one special friend,” she continued. “We say he doesn’t need a best friend.”
That attitude is a blunt manifestation of a mind-set that has led adults to become ever more involved in children’s social lives in recent years. The days when children roamed the neighborhood and played with whomever they wanted to until the streetlights came on disappeared long ago, replaced by the scheduled play date. While in the past a social slight in backyard games rarely came to teachers’ attention the next day, today an upsetting text message from one middle school student to another is often forwarded to school administrators, who frequently feel compelled to intervene in the relationship. (Ms. Laycob was speaking in an interview after spending much of the previous day dealing with a “really awful” text message one girl had sent another.) Indeed, much of the effort to encourage children to be friends with everyone is meant to head off bullying and other extreme consequences of social exclusion. |
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| Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 1:07 am |
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| DrMatt |
| Music doesn't melt in your ear, it explodes in your brain |
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| Joined: 16 Jul 2004 |
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| Educators who have never had a friend don't see why anybody else should. |
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_________________
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These two Fox morning monkeys are dancing on the tip of the shitberg. --Luke T
If masturbation led to homosexuality you'd think by now I'd at least have better fashion sense. --Grayman
The only thing worse than being told No is being told Yes out of laziness/incompetence as this can throw bad things into production environments. --Corplinx
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| Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 1:24 am |
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| Abdul Alhazred |
| "If I turn in a sicko will I get a reward?" |
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| Joined: 07 Jun 2004 |
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| Train them early to have no friends. People who have no friends are easier to govern. |
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| Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 4:12 am |
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| gnome |
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| Joined: 29 Jun 2004 |
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Plausible grain of truth, poor execution.
I wouldn't interfere if my kids had a "best friend" but I discouraged them from "ranking" their friends officially. I can agree there's benefit in avoiding turning it into a status game. That does not mean that close friendships are bad.
When you're not popular, (as I wasn't) having a small handful, or even one, close friend, was essential to my sanity. I daresay the popular kids would actually be better off if they learned the difference between status seeking friends and real ones. |
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_________________
"When people thought the Earth was flat, they were wrong. When people thought the Earth was spherical they were wrong. But if you think that thinking the Earth is spherical is just as wrong as thinking the Earth is flat, then your view is wronger than both of them put together."
--Isaac Asimov
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| Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 4:19 am |
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| corplinx |
| Reality Guru |
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They got it all wrong. Headline should read:
"Frail friendless boy should stop punching himself" |
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| Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:18 pm |
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| gnome |
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| Joined: 29 Jun 2004 |
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| corplinx wrote: | They got it all wrong. Headline should read:
"Frail friendless boy should stop punching himself" |
Anyway, if they want the kids to mix it up more, you don't have to pester them about their choice of friends. Just have teachers divide them up into different groups now and then for a fun activity. It might work, it might not, but any other kind of push won't do a thing. |
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_________________
"When people thought the Earth was flat, they were wrong. When people thought the Earth was spherical they were wrong. But if you think that thinking the Earth is spherical is just as wrong as thinking the Earth is flat, then your view is wronger than both of them put together."
--Isaac Asimov
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| Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:35 pm |
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| DrMatt |
| Music doesn't melt in your ear, it explodes in your brain |
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| Joined: 16 Jul 2004 |
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If friends are outlawed, only outlaws will be Quakers.
Wait.
I am not a crook. |
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_________________
Music: Splendor in Sound
These two Fox morning monkeys are dancing on the tip of the shitberg. --Luke T
If masturbation led to homosexuality you'd think by now I'd at least have better fashion sense. --Grayman
The only thing worse than being told No is being told Yes out of laziness/incompetence as this can throw bad things into production environments. --Corplinx
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| Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:51 pm |
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| Nyarlathotep |
| Elder God/Bounty Killer |
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| Abdul Alhazred wrote: | | Train them early to have no friends. People who have no friends are easier to govern. |
Bingo. |
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_________________
"Democracy means no taxation without representation and goodness knows, we've had the hell represented out of us " - Johnny Carson
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| Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:52 pm |
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| DrMatt |
| Music doesn't melt in your ear, it explodes in your brain |
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| Nyarlathotep wrote: | | Abdul Alhazred wrote: | | Train them early to have no friends. People who have no friends are easier to govern. |
Bingo. |
But then you can't get them to turn in their friends! |
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_________________
Music: Splendor in Sound
These two Fox morning monkeys are dancing on the tip of the shitberg. --Luke T
If masturbation led to homosexuality you'd think by now I'd at least have better fashion sense. --Grayman
The only thing worse than being told No is being told Yes out of laziness/incompetence as this can throw bad things into production environments. --Corplinx
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| Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 3:28 pm |
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| Abdul Alhazred |
| "If I turn in a sicko will I get a reward?" |
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| Joined: 07 Jun 2004 |
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Please note: Not having particular friends is already part of the discipline of Roman Catholic nuns and monks.
Betcha our "post modern educators" didn't know that. |
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| Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 3:40 pm |
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| DrMatt |
| Music doesn't melt in your ear, it explodes in your brain |
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| Joined: 16 Jul 2004 |
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| Abdul Alhazred wrote: | Please note: Not having particular friends is already part of the discipline of Roman Catholic nuns and monks.
Betcha our "post modern educators" didn't know that. |
They're already married to Jebuz. |
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_________________
Music: Splendor in Sound
These two Fox morning monkeys are dancing on the tip of the shitberg. --Luke T
If masturbation led to homosexuality you'd think by now I'd at least have better fashion sense. --Grayman
The only thing worse than being told No is being told Yes out of laziness/incompetence as this can throw bad things into production environments. --Corplinx
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| Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 9:53 pm |
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| sparks |
| Uber Retarded Turnip w/Fungus |
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| DrMatt wrote: | | Abdul Alhazred wrote: | Please note: Not having particular friends is already part of the discipline of Roman Catholic nuns and monks.
Betcha our "post modern educators" didn't know that. |
They're already married to Jebuz. |
Married to Gawd. And if they ask for a divorce, He gives them The World.  |
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_________________
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"Boy if I can still raise an arm after we get out of this place I'm going to show you just how well saturated I can get."--James Arness
clarsct--"If they're on faith, it's like being on heroin. There's little you can do."
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| Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 4:53 am |
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| clarsct |
| Humor Impaired |
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| All my best friends are evil...it's why they are my friends. |
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When Religion becomes State, and breaking the Law becomes a Sin, then Dissenters will become Heretics.
"Reading other people's opinions is a good way to avoid thinking." --My Wife
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| Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 6:29 pm |
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| Doctor X |
| Collective Mob of the Mean Messiah |
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I made all of my friends evil.
But I am good that way.
--J.D. |
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| Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 6:45 pm |
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| Pyrrho |
| Man in Black |
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_________________
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.
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| Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 11:11 pm |
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| Abdul Alhazred |
| "If I turn in a sicko will I get a reward?" |
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| Joined: 07 Jun 2004 |
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| Location: Chicago |
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Mark Steyn checks in on this issue:
Friendly Persuasion
| Quote: | “I think it is kids’ preference to pair up and have that one best friend. As adults – teachers and counselors – we try to encourage them not to do that.”
Thus, Christine Laycob, “director of counseling” at Mary Institute and St Louis Country Day School in Missouri, speaking to The New York Times the other day about why “best friends” are a bad thing. “Parents sometimes say Johnny needs that one special friend. We say he doesn’t need a best friend.”
By “we”, she means the expert opinion of “educators”. Granted that “educators” seem to have minimal interest in education, and that therefore it would be unreasonable to expect them to regard, say, American students’ under-performance in everything from math to music as a priority, one is still impressed by their ability to conjure hitherto unknown crises to obsess over. The tone of the Times piece is faintly creepy – not least in its acceptance of the totalitarian proposition that it’s appropriate for “experts” to re-engineer one of the most building blocks of our humanity: the right to choose our friends.
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