Why Florida is an awsome place to live

[gnome]

https://i.imgur.com/LdXv2JM.jpg

You'll easily find links to articles. I also read the cops were taking cover behind cars… with people inside.

Reminded of a scene with "idiocracy" where cops poured gunfire into a surrounded vehicle, and also shot at it with a small rocket, which misfired and took down a jet liner.

I think you see that one later crashed into a gigantic Costco.

[ed]

We have crime under control here. Also pedestrian traffic.

[Witness]

https://old.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/k ... es_credit/

[Witness]

2 Florida men arrested, accused of stealing human remains they used in religious practice

The men were practicing Palo Mayombe, a religion that branches off of Santeria and was developed in Cuba among enslaved Central Africans, police said.

Two men are charged in Polk County, Florida, and accused of stealing the four sets of human remains in a cemetery as part of their religious practice.

Brian Montalvo Tolentino, 43, and Juan Burgos-Lopez, 39, face four counts each of disturbing contents of a grave and abuse of a dead body, according to a release Friday from the Polk County Sheriff’s Office. DNA evidence led authorities to Tolentino after the bodies were removed from Edgewood Cemetery in Mount Dora last month.

The men told investigators they took the remains, three of which belonged to deceased veterans, as part of their religion. Tolentino and Burgos-Lopez were practicing Palo Mayombe, which branches off of Santeria and was developed in Cuba among enslaved Central Africans.

Investigators executed a search warrant at Burgos-Lopez’s home, where they found a religious shrine, and seven skulls in a shed. Four of the skills belonged to the remains taken from Mount Dora, the men told authorities. Two others were found to be fake, according to the Polk County Sheriff’s office.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/2- ... d-n1253766

[ed]

You think we care about the theft of dead body parts? And how is it theft, wise guy? Who "owned" the parts? Does the cemetery "own" the bodies therein? I think not.

I could get these guys off in seconds. And anyway, stealing body parts is a rite of passage for adolescents down here. Gators are regurgitating them all the time.

[shuize]

Former NYS Dem Party head gets vaccinated — in Florida

The former upstate Oswego mayor — who worked for the Cuomo, David Paterson and Eliot Spitzer administrations — is still a legal New York resident but has been subleasing an apartment in St. Petersburg, Fla., since October, making him eligible to receive the shot there.

https://nypost.com/2021/01/17/former-ny ... n-florida/

[Witness]

And anyway, stealing body parts is a rite of passage for adolescents down here. Gators are regurgitating them all the time.

To say nothing of what one would find dredging lake ed… https://i.imgur.com/ZLYsGk3.gif

[Witness]

Story unfolds:

Rebekah Jones, former state COVID-19 data manager, sues FDLE over raid on her home

Arrest warrant issued for former Florida Department of Health analyst Rebekah Jones

FDLE agents working with ousted state employee's attorney to turn herself in

...

Florida authorities investigating an alleged hack into the state's emergency response system raided her home Dec. 8.

Agents served the search warrant on her Tallahassee home after a complaint from the Department of Health regarding unauthorized access to its emergency alert system.

"Agents believe someone at the residence on Centerville Court illegally accessed the system," FDLE spokeswoman Gretl Plessinger said.

https://www.wptv.com/news/state/arrest- ... ekah-jones

[Witness]

Florida man accused of trying to steal horses, riding them home, deputies say

Man wanted to set them free, according to deputies

LAKE COUNTY, Fla. – A Florida man is behind bars after deputies say he tried to free horses from a local ranch.

The Lake County Sheriff’s Office says ranch owners reported several horse stalls were open and horses were loose.

As the horses were being corralled, the owners told deputies they saw a man driving the owner’s truck, according to the sheriff’s office.

One of the owners was able to stop the man, identified as Mark Anthony Hunt, and detain him until deputies arrived.

Authorities say when the owners asked Hunt why he opened the stalls, the 55-year-old told them that he didn’t believe the horses should be caged. The Fruitland Park man also told the owners he tried to mount one of the horses and ride it home but it got away from him, according to deputies.

The sheriff’s office says the horses are valued at $20,000 and $80,000 each.

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local ... uties-say/

[Witness]

https://i.imgur.com/29Az8KI.jpg

[Witness]

A profoundly unfair bill would withhold Bright Futures aid based on college majors

Dennis Baxley doesn’t think much of his sociology degree from Florida State.

It was worth “two bucks and a cup of coffee in most towns,” the state senator from Ocala told the Tampa Bay Times. So he got a certification to become a funeral director.

Good for him. We’re glad Baxley discovered a successful career doing something he loves.

But just because sociology didn’t work out for Baxley doesn’t mean other people who chose it as a college major haven’t found success.

Nor does it justify the state of Florida punishing college students financially for choosing majors like sociology as a field of study.

Punishing college students is exactly what a bill Baxley has introduced in the Legislature would do, and it appears to have the support of the House speaker and the Senate president, which exponentially increases the bill’s chances of getting passed.

Senate bill 86 would force the state Board of Education and Board of Governors to create a list of degree programs whose graduates will be in high demand in the workplace.

Students who choose a degree program that’s included on the list of sanctioned majors would remain eligible for full financial aid from the state.

Student’s who don’t would be limited to 60 credit hours of financial aid, half the number of hours it typically takes to get a bachelor’s degree.

That includes limiting how much money students could receive from the popular, Lottery-funded Bright Futures program to pay for tuition and fees.

It’ll basically be a big, fat tuition increase for students who choose the wrong major.

You’re reading correctly — the GOP-led Legislature wants the government to pick winners and losers based on someone’s major in college.

And here we thought Republicans didn’t like the government picking winners and losers.

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/opinion ... story.html

[ed]

Florida man accused of trying to steal horses, riding them home, deputies say

Man wanted to set them free, according to deputies

LAKE COUNTY, Fla. – A Florida man is behind bars after deputies say he tried to free horses from a local ranch.

The Lake County Sheriff’s Office says ranch owners reported several horse stalls were open and horses were loose.

As the horses were being corralled, the owners told deputies they saw a man driving the owner’s truck, according to the sheriff’s office.

One of the owners was able to stop the man, identified as Mark Anthony Hunt, and detain him until deputies arrived.

Authorities say when the owners asked Hunt why he opened the stalls, the 55-year-old told them that he didn’t believe the horses should be caged. The Fruitland Park man also told the owners he tried to mount one of the horses and ride it home but it got away from him, according to deputies.

The sheriff’s office says the horses are valued at $20,000 and $80,000 each.

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local ... uties-say/

Was an issue a couple of years ago. People were killing and butchering horses in the pastures. Actually had guy with an AR posted here.

[ed]

A profoundly unfair bill would withhold Bright Futures aid based on college majors

Dennis Baxley doesn’t think much of his sociology degree from Florida State.

It was worth “two bucks and a cup of coffee in most towns,” the state senator from Ocala told the Tampa Bay Times. So he got a certification to become a funeral director.

Good for him. We’re glad Baxley discovered a successful career doing something he loves.

But just because sociology didn’t work out for Baxley doesn’t mean other people who chose it as a college major haven’t found success.

Nor does it justify the state of Florida punishing college students financially for choosing majors like sociology as a field of study.

Punishing college students is exactly what a bill Baxley has introduced in the Legislature would do, and it appears to have the support of the House speaker and the Senate president, which exponentially increases the bill’s chances of getting passed.

Senate bill 86 would force the state Board of Education and Board of Governors to create a list of degree programs whose graduates will be in high demand in the workplace.

Students who choose a degree program that’s included on the list of sanctioned majors would remain eligible for full financial aid from the state.

Student’s who don’t would be limited to 60 credit hours of financial aid, half the number of hours it typically takes to get a bachelor’s degree.

That includes limiting how much money students could receive from the popular, Lottery-funded Bright Futures program to pay for tuition and fees.

It’ll basically be a big, fat tuition increase for students who choose the wrong major.

You’re reading correctly — the GOP-led Legislature wants the government to pick winners and losers based on someone’s major in college.

And here we thought Republicans didn’t like the government picking winners and losers.

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/opinion ... story.html

Let the colleges use their endowments to support Lesbian Dance majors.

[shuize]

As an unmotivated kid,* I remember being pissed off when I learned the state changed the high school graduation standards to include classes I didn't really want to take.

I'll tell those crybaby college students the same thing they told me back then:

Spoiler:

"Tough shit."

Dennis Baxley is exactly right about the value of his Sociology degree.

You liberal artist idiots want to keep studying worthless shit?

Knock yourselves out.

But taxpayers shouldn't have to subsidize your dumb decisions.


* It's a miracle I ever managed to graduate high school.

[Witness]

Some snow for ed:

https://i.imgur.com/uKpZsDM.jpg

[robinson]

In Florida, magic mushrooms grow everywhere, in cow flops

For free, as long as the ranchers don’t catch you

[ed]

http://www.floridiannature.com/scorpions.htm

Very cool. I didn't think there were scorpions here. I must find one.

[gnome]

Let the colleges use their endowments to support Lesbian Dance majors.

You're being a bit flippant but I think there's a serious point there.

It's perfectly valid to decide that there's a need to promote secondary education in fields for reasons other than commercial/financial value. I'm in complete agreement. But it's a mistake to do so using a program that presumes the graduate will reliably earn enough income to pay it back. Just make it a grant and be done with it, if it's so important.

[ed]

It is sorta obscene that Harvard has an endowment of 41 billion and charges whatever they do.

[Witness]

From some dude on Reddit:

I just moved to Florida and Ived notice that there is an epidemic of bald men having billboards extended in order to fit their bald heads. I’ve never seen this trend anywhere else. The bald head billboard extension industry is booming here!

https://i.imgur.com/5ICJGu5.jpg

https://old.reddit.com/r/florida/commen ... tice_that/


Are you bald, ed?

[WildCat]

True story: I've been in Florida since Feb. 27 (vacation). Last Friday I was nearly killed by manatees. OK slight exaggeration but really could have died.

Let's just say manatees can move really really fast when startled, and accidentally bumping into one with a kayak startles them. It was like a bomb went off underneath me, I have no idea how I kept from flipping. Holy fuck they are big...

[WildCat]

I also was kayaking with an alligator I thought was a tarpon. Note to self: before trying to get close to large sea creatures in Florida identify it first.

[Giz]

True story: I've been in Florida since Feb. 27 (vacation). Last Friday I was nearly killed by manatees. OK slight exaggeration but really could have died.

Let's just say manatees can move really really fast when startled, and accidentally bumping into one with a kayak startles them. It was like a bomb went off underneath me, I have no idea how I kept from flipping. Holy fuck they are big...

Kayaking in lake Ed? Run into something big and irritable?

How sure are you that it was a manatee?

[ed]

I also was kayaking with an alligator I thought was a tarpon. Note to self: before trying to get close to large sea creatures in Florida identify it first.

We teach that in kindergarten.

[WildCat]

So here's the manatee story. I launched the kayak at dawn at Little Carlos pass in Estero Bay. I paddled about a mile and a half across Big Carlos pass to a mangrove island where I wanted to start fishing that day and was disappointed to find the water there was dirty, couldn't see 6 inches under the surface. The sun was getting up so I started putting on sunscreen while I decided on a different plan. All of a sudden I hear a snort, I look up and there's a manatee about 2 feet off my bow with its head completely out of the water looking at me. The water here was only about 3 feet deep. I'm thinking I'm way too close to this manatee and then notice I'm also about to drift into a log. Then I realize the log is another manatee and I'm going to bump into and it's too late to stop as I'm right over it.

I bumped it... and holy fuck the world exploded all around me. I swear the first manatee came completely out of the water while the second one bucked me up in the air... I have no idea how I didn't flip.

It took me 2 hours to get my head together and resume fishing.

I can laugh about it now but that was the longest most terrifying 3 seconds of my life and I've been caught in gang shootouts. Too bad there's no video it would be amusing.

[ed]

Ft. Meyers manatees?

They are tough.

[Witness]

Ft. Meyers manatees?

They are tough.

Merritt Island park now a ‘manatee graveyard’ as Florida sea cows starve to death

‘They are severely emaciated,’ FWC veterinarian says

At least 403 manatees have died in Florida so far in 2021, four times the five-year average up to this point in the year, according to state wildlife officials. That includes 169 dead manatees (42%) in Brevard County.

Cold stress accounts for at least 39 of the deaths, or about 10%. For 277 others, almost 70%, the cause is unknown. Because of COVID-19 rules, a state lab tasked with examining dead manatees has only been able to salvage and examine 30% of the remains. So they’re left to rot in places like the small spit of land off Manatee Cove. Watercraft collisions have killed only 14 so far this year, but typically account for about a quarter of manatee deaths.

Biologist suspect the sea cows are starving to death as the marine mammal’s main diet of seagrass wilts under ongoing years-long ecological collapse, driven by excess algae.

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/2021/ ... -to-death/

[Rob Lister]

Ft. Meyers manatees?

They are tough.

Merritt Island park now a ‘manatee graveyard’ as Florida sea cows starve to death

‘They are severely emaciated,’ FWC veterinarian says

At least 403 manatees have died in Florida so far in 2021, four times the five-year average up to this point in the year, according to state wildlife officials. That includes 169 dead manatees (42%) in Brevard County.

Cold stress accounts for at least 39 of the deaths, or about 10%. For 277 others, almost 70%, the cause is unknown. Because of COVID-19 rules, a state lab tasked with examining dead manatees has only been able to salvage and examine 30% of the remains. So they’re left to rot in places like the small spit of land off Manatee Cove. Watercraft collisions have killed only 14 so far this year, but typically account for about a quarter of manatee deaths.

Biologist suspect the sea cows are starving to death as the marine mammal’s main diet of seagrass wilts under ongoing years-long ecological collapse, driven by excess algae.

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/2021/ ... -to-death/

I hear they are delicious.

Manatee meat has a mild taste and readily adapts to recipes for beef. Choice cuts of meat, primarily the tail and peduncle, can be used in any recipe. The body and flipper meat, with just a little extra preparation and special recipes, can be just as tasty.

https://www.monkeyspit.net/sites/manatee/recipes.html

unfortunately, it is against the law to even touch one. but they are so gentle friendly they will even swim into your frying pan.

[Witness]

I hear they are delicious.

You don't want to eat something on its last legs, do you?

BTW, I don't understand why they don't feed them. Here they get sweet potatoes:

https://i.imgur.com/uiw22uz.jpg

[WildCat]

I hear they are delicious.

You don't want to eat something on its last legs, do you?

BTW, I don't understand why they don't feed them. Here they get sweet potatoes:

https://i.imgur.com/uiw22uz.jpg

Because then they become dependent on humans for food.

It's bad enough they've become dependent on power plants for winter warmth instead of migrating south like they used to. What happens when the power plants close?

[Rob Lister]

I hear they are delicious.

You don't want to eat something on its last legs, do you?

BTW, I don't understand why they don't feed them. Here they get sweet potatoes:

Seems to me that if they're worth saving, and they're tasty, they're worth farming.

Let them join carp, tilapia, salmon, catfish, trout, striped bass, milk fish, wuchang bream. Let's not forget clams, mussels, scallops, shrimp and oysters. All very tasty, and generally at least half farmed.

[Witness]

https://i.redd.it/s3z6ig74fln61.gif

Time we buy ed a life preserver. :twisted:

[robinson]

The planet hasn't been ice free in 2,400,000 years

Give or take a few 100 thousand years

[robinson]

Better sell that beachfront property now!

[xouper]

Better sell that beachfront property now!

They did.

They sold their Martha’s Vineyard mansion to the Obamas, who now live a mere 3 feet above sea level (or 10 feet, depending on who you believe).

Obviously the Obamas know something they don't want the rest of us to know about future sea levels.

https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/Hyntt ... 87a7406edb

[Rob Lister]

Better sell that beachfront property now!

They did.

They sold their Martha’s Vineyard mansion to the Obamas, who now live a mere 3 feet above sea level (or 10 feet, depending on who you believe).

Obviously the Obamas know something they don't want the rest of us to know about future sea levels.

Off-topic but I bet they all contracted Lyme's disease. Ticks there are everywhere and everyone gets them.

[ed]

I hear they are delicious.

You don't want to eat something on its last legs, do you?

BTW, I don't understand why they don't feed them. Here they get sweet potatoes:

https://i.imgur.com/uiw22uz.jpg

Because then they become dependent on humans for food.

The fact that they have turned exclusively carnivorous and feed on humans, as you point out, is something that we are trying to keep from the touristas.

As we sat down here "An ignorant tourist is a manatee meal"

[Pyrrho]

https://www.airforcetimes.com/news/your ... n-florida/

An Air Force target drone strayed far from home this week, washing up on the beach at Ocean Ridge Hammock Park in Boynton Beach, Fla., after a test run over the Atlantic Ocean.

The orange, 20-foot-long BQM-167A aerial target plane came to rest in South Florida after launching from Tyndall Air Force Base in the Florida Panhandle. A reporter for the local NBC affiliate posted photos of the drone, surrounded by police tape, on Twitter Friday.

https://i.imgur.com/iihcoGB.jpg

[Witness]

↑ Pic by the original finders:


https://i.imgur.com/bafDyJR.jpg

[Witness]

Some Florida GOP websites still show Trump as being the current president: 'The election was stolen'

A string of Republican Party websites based in Florida still show Donald Trump as being the current president of the United States, the TCPalm reports.

At least 10 websites are not acknowledging the Joe Biden's presidency. Some party official say that it's just an oversight, despite the fact that some of the sites were updated to feature newly elected down-ballot officials. But others like Jay Kramer, chair of the Indian River County Republican Party, openly admit that showing Trump as the current president is intentional.

"Trump hasn't conceded, and it's our opinion the election was stolen," said Kramer, who is the former mayor of Vero Beach. "It's important to make a statement and to make sure the statement stays relevant for the next 3½ years."

https://www.rawstory.com/donald-trump-concede/


:x STOP THE STEAL!!! :x