Ping: A Chemist

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sparks
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

Post by sparks »

You are giving Our Youth(tm) bad ideas AA.

Why do you insist on leading Our Youth(tm) astray? And why do you hate hotdogs? :)
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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I don't need salt bad enough to be fucking with chemical weapons
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Bruce
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

Post by Bruce »

The way chemists make salt is downright sensible compared to the way physicists make gold.

https://www.popsci.com/neutron-star-gold

Just smash together a couple of neutron stars.

And the alchemists tried doing it with a puny philosopher's stone. How boring. :roll:
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

Post by Witness »

Sodium? Chlorine? Go for the worst, AA:

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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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Re: Ping: A Chemist

Post by Bruce »

I haven't seen the new oreo thing. Is it banana flavor?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isoamyl_acetate
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sparks
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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Fruity Pebbles is not a flavor: It's a lifestyle.
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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Bruce giving a pep talk at his company:



:P
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

Post by Bruce »

W.....T.....F......?!

First, the Thermo Orbitrap is way better than any QTOF, and second......gawd that was awful.
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

Post by Witness »

Bruce wrote:gawd that was awful.
:twisted:
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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↑ Very cool! :figamagee:
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

Post by Nyarlathotep »

I am amused that this thread has far outlived the one it was parodying
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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[gfycat]WhichCreamyAmericancicada[/gfycat]
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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I would have thumbed Your Mom you up if he put the Na+ in the H2O.

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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
William Shakespeare
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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Re: Ping: A Chemist

Post by Bruce »

I use those same autopipets at work. Never thought of wielding them like daggers. :twisted:
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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Re: Ping: A Chemist

Post by Bruce »

Crazy old koot. No blast shield. No splatter shield. No secondary containment. Not even a disposable graduant student to do the dangerous hands on work. :nope :nope

Wonder what the camera guy was thinking when he said the whole thing would explode if mixed too vigorously, like if he had poured that last solution just a little bit faster.....or if he had slipped and dropped that beaker with his shaky hands and slippery nitrile gloves.....
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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Witness
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

Post by Witness »

Abdul Alhazred wrote: Wed Apr 24, 2019 12:54 am [white phosphorus]
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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What a horrible weapon. As weapons go, I suppose.
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

Post by Witness »

Rob Lister wrote: Thu Apr 25, 2019 12:17 pm What a horrible weapon. As weapons go, I suppose.
Indeed.
German woman picks up WW2 white phosphorus bomb after mistaking it for amber

Walker on banks of River Elbe near Hamburg put the object in the pocket of her jacket which later burst into flames

A woman in Germany narrowly avoided injury after she picked up a shiny object on a beach she believed to be amber, but which turned out to be part of a Second World War bomb that later burst into flames.

The 41-year-old was out walking on the banks of the Elbe river near Hamburg when she plucked the small stone-like item from wet sand and put it in the pocket of her jacket.

But the souvenir turned out to be a centimetre-long chunk of white phosphorus – which ignited just moments later in the incident near the town of Wedel.

Passersby alerted the woman that her jacket was ablaze where she had placed it on the ground, and she managed to avoid any injuries.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/worl ... 79121.html
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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A physicist, a biologist, and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time. The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Obviously, he was drowned and never returned.

The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He, too, never returned.

The chemist waited for a long time and afterward, wrote the observation, “The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water.”

hattip: internet
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
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ed
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

Post by ed »

You know, chemistry humor really isn't that funny.
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sparks
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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Your expectations are too high ed.

"So, this neutron walks into a bar..."
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

Post by Bruce »

ed wrote: Sun Dec 15, 2019 2:21 am You know, chemistry humor really isn't that funny.
I suppose you think gun jokes are explosively funny. Barrel of laughs, am I right? Or should I be sweating bullets.
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Rob Lister
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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sparks wrote: Sun Dec 15, 2019 7:13 pm Your expectations are too high ed.

"So, this neutron walks into a bar..."
... and sits alone all night till the lights flicker.

A proton walks up and says, "Well, last call I suppose."
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

Post by Bruce »

Rob Lister wrote: Sun Dec 15, 2019 9:27 pm
sparks wrote: Sun Dec 15, 2019 7:13 pm Your expectations are too high ed.

"So, this neutron walks into a bar..."
... and sits alone all night till the lights flicker.

A proton walks up and says, "Well, last call I suppose."
9 months later, a deuterium was born.

:doglaugh:
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sparks
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

Post by sparks »

Both those punch lines are good, but Bruce wins. Sorry Rob.

"Neutron has a couple of drinks and asks for the bill. Bartender says 'For you, no charge' ".
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

Post by Rob Lister »

sparks wrote: Mon Dec 16, 2019 1:19 am Both those punch lines are good, but Bruce wins. Sorry Rob.

"Neutron has a couple of drinks and asks for the bill. Bartender says 'For you, no charge' ".
Punch line? Physics is no joke.
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sparks
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

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I stand corrected. It's the results of applied physics that are the goddamned joke. :)
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

Post by Bruce »

sparks wrote: Mon Dec 16, 2019 1:19 am Both those punch lines are good, but Bruce wins. Sorry Rob.
Rob pitched it, and I knocked it out of the park. :)
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sparks
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Re: Ping: A Chemist

Post by sparks »

Damnit Bruce! I'm trying to foment dissent and bullshit and here you come along and stitch it all back together again.


Fuck. :)

Thanks.
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