Retirement Plans

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asthmatic camel
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Retirement Plans

Post by asthmatic camel »

Hmm. Having accumulated sufficient wealth at the grand old age of 55 to see me out until the Grim Reaper shows up with The Death of Rats, Squeak!, what should I do with it?

A: Emigrate to Florida, build a shack next to Lake Ed and live on Crawdads stewed in beer?

B: Move to Belgium, scoff haute cuisine, and drink shite European beer with Witness?

C: Buy a Puukkos, sail to Finland, and murder pillory in a vodka fuelled rage?

D: Cycle to East Anglia and get so boozed up with De-Bunk that his girlfriend leaves him in a rage and he's left homeless?

E: Get a flight to Silicon Valley, become a full-blown nerd and screw up The Sceptical Community with Pyrrho and Pixi?

D: Buy a load of guns, build a bunker in the Bible Belt with Wildcat and storm the Whitehouse, Vatican and Mecca?
Last edited by asthmatic camel on Thu Aug 05, 2021 5:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
ed
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by ed »

Move here. We can recreate the battle of new Orleans outside of Sarasota. After we can grab some food overlooking the gulf.
ed
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by ed »

You'd like Sarasota
asthmatic camel
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by asthmatic camel »

Too hot. Even my nigger wife thinks it's too hot.
ed
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by ed »

Is not
asthmatic camel
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by asthmatic camel »

'Tis. Even Jamaica's too hot.

Cultural integration and stuff.
ed
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by ed »

Fine. Take Pillory then.

ingrates.
Fid
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by Fid »

Utah bro. The Mormons make the kiddos do the heavy lifting religion-wise. Hence everybody is assumed to be. It's dry, hardly ever rains, the valleys look look like a terraformed Mars and they recently decided black people were human. Hey what's not to like?

Edit to add: You can also wear a Stetson hat and no one will laugh at you.
shuize
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by shuize »

asthmatic camel wrote: Thu Aug 05, 2021 5:29 pm B: Move to Belgium, scoff haute cuisine, and drink shite European beer with Witness?

Why did I think Witness was Swiss?

Also, if we're considering expat retirement -- as we all should be -- there was a perfectly fine thread over in "Oh, and fuck."
asthmatic camel
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by asthmatic camel »

I can't read everything, Shuize, (although I do try.)

The trouble for me with going expat is health care costs. Remaining British, I get all my numerous medications for free and a stay in hospital costs me nothing. Having thought about it, escaping the dismal British winters for a couple of months in the Canary Islands sounds good.
shuize
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by shuize »

asthmatic camel wrote: Fri Aug 06, 2021 9:22 am I can't read everything, Shuize, (although I do try.)

The trouble for me with going expat is health care costs. Remaining British, I get all my numerous medications for free and a stay in hospital costs me nothing. Having thought about it, escaping the dismal British winters for a couple of months in the Canary Islands sounds good.

Yeah, I wasn't really serious about the other thread.

I've heard health insurance is not so expensive in Thailand.

Never say never, but I suspect I'll probably spend at least part of my retirement in Japan.

But going somewhere in mid-winter and mid-summer every year would be nice.

That is, if Wuhan-Corona ever ends.
Pyrrho
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by Pyrrho »

You could do worse than to move to Cleveland. It would be just like jolly old London. The Cuyahoga is your basic Thames, only with mudworms, dead carp, and the occasional bar patron. We have 3--or is it 4? I forget--sports teams, one of which has an identity crisis. Pristine beaches of imported sand and sand-smoothed pebbles of beer bottle glass, intermingled with seagull feathers and fish in various stages of rot. Plus the sewer rainwater overflow empties directly onto the beach! No other tourist destination has that! A remodeled public square, home to industrious pickpockets. A thriving downtown community of hipsters, numerous gentrified neighborhoods with absurdly high rent, and a casino where you can spend all of your retirement monies so you can move back to England, proudly broke.

And that's not all! We have public transit that basically takes you nowhere useful, an international airport with flights to Akron, a few freeways and a toll road, and just the right amount of political corruption to keep the politicians comfortable while the po' folks get their houses torn down to make way for the aforementioned gentrification.
sparks
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by sparks »

shuize wrote: Fri Aug 06, 2021 10:03 am
asthmatic camel wrote: Fri Aug 06, 2021 9:22 am I can't read everything, Shuize, (although I do try.)

The trouble for me with going expat is health care costs. Remaining British, I get all my numerous medications for free and a stay in hospital costs me nothing. Having thought about it, escaping the dismal British winters for a couple of months in the Canary Islands sounds good.

Yeah, I wasn't really serious about the other thread.

I've heard health insurance is not so expensive in Thailand.

Never say never, but I suspect I'll probably spend at least part of my retirement in Japan.

But going somewhere in mid-winter and mid-summer every year would be nice.

That is, if Wuhan-Corona ever ends.
Do it AC: Once went to Thailand for 3 weeks during the height of winter where I lived then. Flew from below freezing to 80 degrees in about a day. It was wonderful.
xouper
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by xouper »

asthmatic camel wrote: Fri Aug 06, 2021 9:22 am . . . Having thought about it, escaping the dismal British winters for a couple of months in the Canary Islands sounds good.

:bigthumb:

For those who did not already know:

https://xoup.net/memes/a-new-currency/c ... 00x400.jpg
asthmatic camel
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by asthmatic camel »

Pyrrho wrote: Fri Aug 06, 2021 10:30 am You could do worse than to move to Cleveland. It would be just like jolly old London. The Cuyahoga is your basic Thames, only with mudworms, dead carp, and the occasional bar patron. We have 3--or is it 4? I forget--sports teams, one of which has an identity crisis. Pristine beaches of imported sand and sand-smoothed pebbles of beer bottle glass, intermingled with seagull feathers and fish in various stages of rot. Plus the sewer rainwater overflow empties directly onto the beach! No other tourist destination has that! A remodeled public square, home to industrious pickpockets. A thriving downtown community of hipsters, numerous gentrified neighborhoods with absurdly high rent, and a casino where you can spend all of your retirement monies so you can move back to England, proudly broke.

And that's not all! We have public transit that basically takes you nowhere useful, an international airport with flights to Akron, a few freeways and a toll road, and just the right amount of political corruption to keep the politicians comfortable while the po' folks get their houses torn down to make way for the aforementioned gentrification.
Scarlet, (with whom I'm still in touch), says much the same about Cleveland. It'd be like retiring to London; none of the benefits of living in Northern England, (low cost of living, beautiful countryside, friendly people, (mostly: there are cunts everywhere), two of the countries top soccer teams, (not that I'm interested), and culture, should I require it, (opera, classical music, museums and other shit like that.) I'm also only an hour's drive from my beloved Wales, boyo. Clean, glass-free sandy beaches, Snowdonia, castles, cockles and laverbread and Cawl. Sadly, Mrs. Camel is a city girl, so that's not an option.

Buying a property in the Canary Islands and renting it out during the rag-hot Summer months may be a good plan. Warm Winters and the best of British during the Summer. :)
Pyrrho
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by Pyrrho »

I forgot to mention the clouds of midges that swarm in from Lake Erie...
asthmatic camel
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by asthmatic camel »

Pyrrho wrote: Fri Aug 06, 2021 9:11 pm I forgot to mention the clouds of midges that swarm in from Lake Erie...
Might as well retire to Scotland. Midges and fucking bagpipes.
ed
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by ed »

Pyrrho wrote: Fri Aug 06, 2021 9:11 pm I forgot to mention the clouds of midges that swarm in from Lake Erie...
None of that near lake Ed. The giant dragonflies eat then and drop the lifeless husks on passerby.
asthmatic camel
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by asthmatic camel »

ed wrote: Fri Aug 06, 2021 9:32 pm
Pyrrho wrote: Fri Aug 06, 2021 9:11 pm I forgot to mention the clouds of midges that swarm in from Lake Erie...
None of that near lake Ed. The giant dragonflies eat then and drop the lifeless husks on passerby.
Edgod, Floridor would be a decent option were it not for the extremely cheap, abundant availability of excellent food. Mrs. Camel, as lovely as she is. is clinically obese and I'm a diabetic. We'd be eating ourselves to an early grave. :(
Fid
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by Fid »

...Scarlet, (with whom I'm still in touch)...

Please all kidding aside give her my best.
ed
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by ed »

asthmatic camel wrote: Fri Aug 06, 2021 9:59 pm
ed wrote: Fri Aug 06, 2021 9:32 pm
Pyrrho wrote: Fri Aug 06, 2021 9:11 pm I forgot to mention the clouds of midges that swarm in from Lake Erie...
None of that near lake Ed. The giant dragonflies eat then and drop the lifeless husks on passerby.
Edgod, Floridor would be a decent option were it not for the extremely cheap, abundant availability of excellent food. Mrs. Camel, as lovely as she is. is clinically obese and I'm a diabetic. We'd be eating ourselves to an early grave. :(
We have a high water table. That being the case, you would not stay buried.

Also ... our seafood is second to none and you can maintain a svelte figure (like mine) if you dine intelligently.

My daughter evidentially killed a rattler in the track of her slider this afternoon. It is best to be armed down here.
Witness
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by Witness »

ed wrote: Sat Aug 07, 2021 2:11 am Also ... our seafood is second to none and you can maintain a svelte figure (like mine) if you dine intelligently.
asthmatic camel
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by asthmatic camel »

Fid wrote: Sat Aug 07, 2021 1:52 am ...Scarlet, (with whom I'm still in touch)...

Please all kidding aside give her my best.
Done. :)
asthmatic camel
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by asthmatic camel »

ed wrote: Sat Aug 07, 2021 2:11 am
asthmatic camel wrote: Fri Aug 06, 2021 9:59 pm
ed wrote: Fri Aug 06, 2021 9:32 pm
Pyrrho wrote: Fri Aug 06, 2021 9:11 pm I forgot to mention the clouds of midges that swarm in from Lake Erie...
None of that near lake Ed. The giant dragonflies eat then and drop the lifeless husks on passerby.
Edgod, Floridor would be a decent option were it not for the extremely cheap, abundant availability of excellent food. Mrs. Camel, as lovely as she is. is clinically obese and I'm a diabetic. We'd be eating ourselves to an early grave. :(
We have a high water table. That being the case, you would not stay buried.

Also ... our seafood is second to none and you can maintain a svelte figure (like mine) if you dine intelligently.

My daughter evidentially killed a rattler in the track of her slider this afternoon. It is best to be armed down here.
Mrs. C. spent a couple of weeks on vacation with her friend driving around the Keys a few years ago and loved it, (and the food.)

Seafood... I love it and it's perfect for a diabetic diet. Fortunately, it's plentiful in my island nation, so I don't go short. Should I ever visit, I'll cook you up some top stuff: Moules marinière, winkles with honey and garlic dip, lobster Thermidor etc. :)
shuize
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by shuize »

Well, AC, it took me a few days, but I think I may have found an activity to meet all your retirement needs.

Ask yourself, what do Florida, seafood, guns, scuba diving, and environmental protection all have in common?

Spoiler:


Lionfish pistol hunting, that's what!


[/quote]
asthmatic camel
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by asthmatic camel »

asthmatic camel wrote: Sat Aug 07, 2021 11:25 am
Fid wrote: Sat Aug 07, 2021 1:52 am ...Scarlet, (with whom I'm still in touch)...

Please all kidding aside give her my best.
Done. :)
Fid, Scarlet tried to contact you without success a few years ago, presumably you've changed address. If you'd PM me contact details, I'll pass them along. I chat to her on Facebook. :)
asthmatic camel
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by asthmatic camel »

shuize wrote: Sat Aug 07, 2021 10:09 pm Well, AC, it took me a few days, but I think I may have found an activity to meet all your retirement needs.

Ask yourself, what do Florida, seafood, guns, scuba diving, and environmental protection all have in common?

Spoiler:


Lionfish pistol hunting, that's what!


[/quote]

It sure beats picking cockles and mussels on the Welsh coast. In the rain...
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by Pyrrho »

Like I said, Cleveland, the Best Location in the Nation:

https://fox8.com/news/no-swimming-allow ... lake-erie/

No swimming allowed at Edgewater Beach after 285,000 gallons of combined sewage flows into Lake Erie
“It’s not always about volume, it’s always about when you get that spike in the rain when it just coats up really quickly, there’s only so many places for that rain to go the pipe is only so big so to speak,” said district representative Jenn Elting.

She says everyone is advised to stay out of the water during these events particularly children, the elderly and those who are ill.

Elting says the overflow lasted about 10 minutes and about 285,000 gallons of combined sewage went into Lake Erie.
Narrator: don't come to Cleveland for the waters. Any day is a good day to catch mononucleosis or any of a number of bacterial infections if you swim or wade at any Cleveland beach. Best not to inhale, also.
Grammatron
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by Grammatron »

Pyrrho wrote: Mon Aug 09, 2021 11:01 am Like I said, Cleveland, the Best Location in the Nation:

https://fox8.com/news/no-swimming-allow ... lake-erie/

No swimming allowed at Edgewater Beach after 285,000 gallons of combined sewage flows into Lake Erie
“It’s not always about volume, it’s always about when you get that spike in the rain when it just coats up really quickly, there’s only so many places for that rain to go the pipe is only so big so to speak,” said district representative Jenn Elting.

She says everyone is advised to stay out of the water during these events particularly children, the elderly and those who are ill.

Elting says the overflow lasted about 10 minutes and about 285,000 gallons of combined sewage went into Lake Erie.
Narrator: don't come to Cleveland for the waters. Any day is a good day to catch mononucleosis or any of a number of bacterial infections if you swim or wade at any Cleveland beach. Best not to inhale, also.
https://www.cleveland.com/news/2021/08/ ... shows.html
CLEVELAND, Ohio – Decades of population decline in Cleveland has continued through 2020, with Census results released Thursday showing 372,624 residents living in the city.

That’s 6.1% less – or about 24,000 residents fewer -- than in 2010, when the city was home to 396,815 people.

The 2020 numbers, delayed due the pandemic, mean that the number of Cleveland City Council seats will drop down to 15 from the current number of 17. That change is triggered by the city charter, which requires the number of wards and council seats to be reduced by two once the city’s population dips below 375,000. The changes will affect council races in 2025 and 2029, but not the upcoming 2021 election.
Ben Trovado
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by Ben Trovado »

I have an investment opportunity that can take care of that retirement money in a flash.
DJ
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by DJ »

Powerball?
xouper
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by xouper »

This?

https://xoup.net/memes/a-new-currency/r ... 00x240.jpg
izittrue
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by izittrue »

Oct 1 is my last day. Looking towards everyday being Saturday or taco Tuesday.
xouper
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by xouper »

https://xoup.net/memes/im-so-old/doing- ... 00x400.jpg
Hotarubi
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by Hotarubi »

asthmatic camel wrote: Thu Aug 05, 2021 5:29 pm Hmm. Having accumulated sufficient wealth at the grand old age of 55 to see me out until the Grim Reaper shows up with The Death of Rats, Squeak!, what should I do with it?

A: Emigrate to Florida, build a shack next to Lake Ed and live on Crawdads stewed in beer?

B: Move to Belgium, scoff haute cuisine, and drink shite European beer with Witness?

C: Buy a Puukkos, sail to Finland, and murder pillory in a vodka fuelled rage?

D: Cycle to East Anglia and get so boozed up with De-Bunk that his girlfriend leaves him in a rage and he's left homeless?

E: Get a flight to Silicon Valley, become a full-blown nerd and screw up The Sceptical Community with Pyrrho and Pixi?

D: Buy a load of guns, build a bunker in the Bible Belt with Wildcat and storm the Whitehouse, Vatican and Mecca?
Why not move down south and avoid dipshit socialists that have tried their hardest to maintain the crap life you've lived since the age of 2 whilst lining their own pockets.

We even get sunshine here.

And fruit.
Doctor X
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by Doctor X »

Toilets that flush more than once an hour?







Central heating?










Dentists?

– J.D.
asthmatic camel
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by asthmatic camel »

Heh.

Move down South and waste most of my wealth purchasing an outrageously overvalued property? And put up with people like De_Bunk?

Contrary to popular opinion it's not quite that grim up North. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth when the BBC largely relocated to Manchester from London, yet when the luvvies actually arrived, the majority found their quality of life improved.

You think we lack fruit up here, Hotarubi? I used to spend a couple of months every year taking surplus fruit to the tip; apples, pears, plums, currants, berries, vanloads of the stuff. If I'd had the time and space, I could have started my own cider and perry-making business!

And we do get sunshine on occasion. It was so hot today that I had to take a cold shower when I got home. Not because of the heat but because of the immense amounts of NBL flesh on display. :D
asthmatic camel
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by asthmatic camel »

Doctor X wrote: Sat Aug 28, 2021 6:16 am Toilets that flush more than once an hour?







Central heating?










Dentists?

– J.D.
I possess all of the above. My gorgeous Muslim dentist is a definite incentive to take care of my teeth. I'm occasionally tempted to seek an unnecessary extraction...
asthmatic camel
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by asthmatic camel »

Oh, and Manchester City thrashed the Gunners 5-0 yesterday, Hotarubi, so you can shove that up your Southern Arsenal, too.
ed
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Re: Retirement Plans

Post by ed »

Witness wrote: Sat Aug 07, 2021 2:22 am
ed wrote: Sat Aug 07, 2021 2:11 am Also ... our seafood is second to none and you can maintain a svelte figure (like mine) if you dine intelligently.
We call that "harvesting"