Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

TheAtheist · Post by **TheAtheist** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 1:29 am

Well, that's going to piss the Mayan calendar people right off.

ed · Post by ed » Sun Jan 02, 2011 3:16 am

My Birthday.

Assholes.

TheAtheist · Post by **TheAtheist** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 5:47 am

ed wrote:My Birthday.

Assholes.

Spend your birthday in NZ; the end will be timed for Middle Eastern time, so you'll get 12 hours or so of your borthday in before armageddon!

En folkefiende · Post by **En folkefiende** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 10:40 am

ed wrote:My Birthday.

Assholes.

Well, what DO you expect, eh?

ed · Post by ed » Sun Jan 02, 2011 12:35 pm

TheAtheist wrote:
ed wrote:My Birthday.

Assholes.
Spend your birthday in NZ; the end will be timed for Middle Eastern time, so you'll get 12 hours or so of your borthday in before armageddon!

Plus I can mock all the dead terrorists. Thats a plan.

DrMatt · Post by **DrMatt** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 11:49 pm

I'm thinking it would be rather fitting if 144000 promoters of this sort of thing were to suddenly disappear unexpectedly on that day, and nobody noticed.

grayman · Post by **grayman** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 1:37 am

DrMatt wrote:I'm thinking it would be rather fitting if 144000 promoters of this sort of thing were to suddenly disappear unexpectedly on that day, and nobody noticed.

Better yet, they are the only ones left behind.

Llacheu · Post by **Llacheu** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 8:10 pm

Unless the 144,000 included someone famous, all the rapture would amount to is an increased number of missing person reports.

sparks · Post by **sparks** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 10:15 pm

grayman wrote:
DrMatt wrote:I'm thinking it would be rather fitting if 144000 promoters of this sort of thing were to suddenly disappear unexpectedly on that day, and nobody noticed.
Better yet, they are the only ones left behind.

FTW.

MLynn · Post by **MLynn** » Thu Jan 06, 2011 11:07 pm

Ignorance - Christians need some education......this is what Jesus said. Besides, if Sir Isaac Newton couldn't figure out the end of the world, no one else can either.

Matthew 24:35-36 (King James Version)

35 Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away.
36 But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

izittrue · Post by **izittrue** » Fri Jan 07, 2011 7:13 pm

So pretty much we don't want to go to heaven because it will pass away. So we need to figure out a way to turn into his words since they will live forever.

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Fri Jan 07, 2011 9:44 pm

I'm betting that correctly translated "heaven" in this passage doesn't mean "Heaven" where you spend an eternity... doing whatever is supposedly paradise to enjoy an eternity of...

...but I bet it really just means the skies above earth literally.

MLynn · Post by **MLynn** » Sat Jan 08, 2011 12:19 am

gnome wrote:I'm betting that correctly translated "heaven" in this passage doesn't mean "Heaven" where you spend an eternity... doing whatever is supposedly paradise to enjoy an eternity of...

...but I bet it really just means the skies above earth literally.

Yes, the "heavens" vs. Heaven IIRC.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Sat Jan 08, 2011 3:57 am

I'd rather like to go to Heaven and play a badly-tuned harp, sitting on a cloud, for all eternity. Pissing off the cherubim, seraphim, Jeebus, Mary and Yahweh would amuse me.

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Sat Jan 08, 2011 1:46 pm

"And now... ONE MORE TIME!"

TheAtheist · Post by **TheAtheist** » Sun Feb 20, 2011 2:39 am

Abdul Alhazred wrote:Update: They are still doing the countdown. http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/index.html

It remains to be seen if they will start backtracking before the big day.

No, but I'll bet they backtrack the day after.

grayman · Post by **grayman** » Sun Feb 20, 2011 2:56 am

1994 AD—On September 7th, the first 2300-day period of the great tribulation came to an end and the latter rain began...

Rain or reign?

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:56 am

Unfortunately, the texts have Junior specify the eschaton would happen within a very particular time-frame. While one may not know the exact day and hour--the authors were not that stupid--one did know it must come within the life-times of the characters in the stories. There are two passages from Mk where Junior predicts the eschaton within the life-times of the audience in the story.

In Mk 9:1--Copied by Mt in Mt 16:28 and Lk in Lk 9:27--Junior states the eschaton will happen in the lifetime of those "standing here"--his audience in the story:

And he said to them, "Truly I tell you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see that the kingdom of God has come with power." (NRSV)

καὶ ἔλεγεν αὐτοῖς· Ἀμὴν λέγω ὑμῖν ὅτι εἰσίν τινες τῶν ὧδε ἑστηκότων οἵτινες οὐ μὴ γεύσωνται θανάτου ἕως ἂν ἴδωσιν τὴν βασιλείαν τοῦ θεοῦ ἐληλυθυῖαν ἐν δυνάμει.(SBLGNT)

Mk 13:30-31--Mt 24:34-35 and Lk 21:32-32 : this is the infamous prediction that the eschaton will happen in the life time of his audience's generation:

"Truly I tell you, this generation will not pass away until all these things have taken place. Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away." (NRSV)

ἀμὴν λέγω ὑμῖν ὅτι οὐ μὴ παρέλθῃ ἡ γενεὰ αὕτη μέχρις οὗ ταῦτα πάντα γένηται. ὁ οὐρανὸς καὶ ἡ γῆ παρελεύσονται, οἱ δὲ λόγοι μου οὐ μὴ παρελεύσονται. (SBLGNT)

I removed the textual critical markings. Apologists try to redefine a "generation," but with Mk 9:1 above and the fact that both Mt and Lk accept it, they all expected "it" to happen in their individual lifetimes. The SBLGNT differs from the one I usually use--the Nestle-Aland Greek NT (NA-GNT 26 Rev. Edition)--in Mk 9:1a in word order--ὧδε τῶν ἑστηκότων--rather than τῶν ὧδε ἑστηκότων--and agrees completely with it in Mk 13:30-31.

Abbreviations:

NRSV = New Revised Standard Version

SBLGNT = Society for Biblical Literature Greek New Testament

--J.D.

DrMatt · Post by **DrMatt** » Sun Feb 20, 2011 11:11 pm

I got an invitation to "Backpedaling Day" but was unsure what to make of it until you reminded me of this thread. Backpedaling Day is May 22.

Nyarlathotep · Post by **Nyarlathotep** » Thu May 12, 2011 8:01 pm

Abdul Alhazred wrote:Update: The Dawk^TM hits a home run.

Richard Dawkins interview in The Washington Post

Why is a serious newspaper like the Washington Post giving space to a raving loon?

...

And he answers the question very precisely in his next sentence, because thus guy, unlike the hobo beneath the bridge muttering about the end of the world, can afford billboard space and lots of it. Shoot, there are two of them even in my little corner of nowhere, I suppose more densely populated regions have even more.

So I can't really blame a newspaper for covering this to an extent. Even if you don't buy into the idea a single bit, you see enough of the billboards and you begin to wonder "Why the hell are all these billboards proclaiming the end of the world popping up lately?" and the answer to that question is news, even though it simply boils down to "A rich nut put them there."

orphia nay · Post by **orphia nay** » Sat May 14, 2011 1:27 am

Why are they bothering to put up billboards and promote this? Only 200 million will be raptured, according to them. Surely the biblical bus is booked out.

Philip · Post by **Philip** » Sat May 14, 2011 11:16 am

NPR has had a couple of stories on this:

Some people have left their jobs in preparation for the rapture. Weekend Edition interviewed a couple with a 2 year old kid and another due in June who left their jobs in New York, moved to Orlando, and have budgeted their savings so they'll be totally out of money on May 21.

As Dawkins said, on the 22nd Camping will do the same thing he did after September 6, 1994: he'll say he got the calculations wrong, do some more studying, and come up with a new date, and more suckers will buy into it.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Sat May 14, 2011 4:34 pm

You beat me to it.

Bunch of cunts.

grayman · Post by **grayman** » Sat May 14, 2011 11:13 pm

Why send any gift? It's not like they're gonna need in another week, right?

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Sun May 15, 2011 1:02 am

Philip wrote:NPR has had a couple of stories on this:

Some people have left their jobs in preparation for the rapture. Weekend Edition interviewed a couple with a 2 year old kid and another due in June who left their jobs in New York, moved to Orlando, and have budgeted their savings so they'll be totally out of money on May 21.

As Dawkins said, on the 22nd Camping will do the same thing he did after September 6, 1994: he'll say he got the calculations wrong, do some more studying, and come up with a new date, and more suckers will buy into it.

"We budgeted everything so that, on May 21, we won't have anything left," Adrienne adds.

Because having any kind of safety net would betray a lack of faith.

I've asked a dozen of Camping's followers the same question. Everyone said even entertaining the possibility that May 21 would come and go without event is an offense to God. They all hope they'll be raptured. Some worry about being left behind.

grayman · Post by **grayman** » Mon May 16, 2011 5:11 am

And on that date Cthulhu shall return to power...

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Mon May 16, 2011 11:25 am

But . . . who will he come with?

South Park:

Tu-Thulhu-C-thul-hu!
Cthulhu-C-thul-hu!
Yeahayeah!

The evil hate-filled Cthulhu!
From the dimension far away!
Flying through gates madness
And into your heart!
Yeah! Fuck all you!

Turning dreams into nightmares!
Lick my balls!
Destroying all he sees!
Now begins a new adventure for me!

You and the Dark One, Cthulhu!
Sharing adventures and smiles!
It's a magical bond two pals can share!
Soon the whole world will be made aware!

Oh you and the Death Lord Cthulhu!
Making the world a better place!
Together you will have so much fun!
Sending all my stupid friends to obliv-i-ON!

You and the Dark One, Cthulhu!
Suck it, Bitches!

--J.D.

grayman · Post by **grayman** » Tue May 17, 2011 2:32 am

If you happen to be in Witchita, Kansas on Saturday, there will be a Rapture Day event. Looks interesting.

jacks · Post by **jacks** » Wed May 18, 2011 6:56 pm

Just took a second look at my milk container, it expires May, 21, 2011.

Nyarlathotep · Post by **Nyarlathotep** » Wed May 18, 2011 7:32 pm

To be honest, the 21st scares me a little bit. Not because I believe in this end of the world crap, but because there are apparently a lot of people who DO belive this end of the world crap. A large, well funded apocalyptic cult that thinks the end of the world is literally going to happen within days can be a scary thing.

Of course, that won't stop me from pointing and laughing come Sunday. BUt I do worry that some of them are going to do something crazy/stupid on Saturday.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Wed May 18, 2011 8:50 pm

Can't help fools.

sparks · Post by **sparks** » Wed May 18, 2011 9:11 pm

Lock and load, I should think would be the correct response to this 3nd Ov T3h Werld nonsense. Saturday will be my night to run a couple of good End Of The World DVDs while enjoying a fine Single Malt or two. I recommend On The Beach with Greg Peck, Ava Gardner, Fred Astaire, and Tony Perkins.

Nyarlathotep · Post by **Nyarlathotep** » Wed May 18, 2011 9:26 pm

asthmatic camel wrote:Can't help fools.

It's fools tryin to" help" ME that I worry about.

Nyarlathotep · Post by **Nyarlathotep** » Wed May 18, 2011 9:33 pm

sparks wrote:Lock and load, I should think would be the correct response to this 3nd Ov T3h Werld nonsense. Saturday will be my night to run a couple of good End Of The World DVDs while enjoying a fine Single Malt or two. I recommend On The Beach with Greg Peck, Ava Gardner, Fred Astaire, and Tony Perkins.

I'd pick The Last Man on Earth, aka the GOOD film version of I Am Legend with Vincent Price, not that crappy Will Smith vehicle. The Omega Man is a good version too, in its own cheesey way.

There's also The Book of Eli, which is a good post-apocalypse movie despite its religious subtext.

sparks · Post by **sparks** » Wed May 18, 2011 10:52 pm

Agreed on the Vincent Price version. Saw the trailers for the Will Smith debacle and said no to that one.

En folkefiende · Post by **En folkefiende** » Thu May 19, 2011 10:07 am

Hm, maybe take an old pair of sandals, a worn set of white socks, the old green bell bottoms from 1968, old underwear, and an old shirt, and arrange them as though they fell off a now-missing body somewhere on the sidewalk.

Hmm. Y'think?

sparks · Post by **sparks** » Thu May 19, 2011 1:33 pm

You'll make the baby Jeebus cry if you fake your own Rapture!

En folkefiende · Post by **En folkefiende** » Thu May 19, 2011 7:38 pm

sparks wrote:You'll make the baby Jeebus cry if you fake your own Rapture!

(sings, tune == 'Old Rugged Cross')
On a hill
Faraway
Stood an old
Chevrolet
...

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Fri May 20, 2011 3:03 pm

It's Armageddon Day!

You know that it starts in Japan first, right? Well, maybe not first, but before all of you people. It's not all at once, but goes time-zone by time-zone, IIRC.

SO neener, neener neener!

DrMatt · Post by **DrMatt** » Fri May 20, 2011 4:18 pm

Proselytizers are all over the "Post-rapture party" pages on Facebook. They like to imagine themselves as participating in a "productive debate". They're getting trounced.