Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

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TheAtheist
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by TheAtheist »

Well, that's going to piss the Mayan calendar people right off.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by ed »

My Birthday.

Assholes.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by TheAtheist »

ed wrote:My Birthday.

Assholes.
Spend your birthday in NZ; the end will be timed for Middle Eastern time, so you'll get 12 hours or so of your borthday in before armageddon!
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by En folkefiende »

ed wrote:My Birthday.

Assholes.
Well, what DO you expect, eh? :p
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by ed »

TheAtheist wrote:
ed wrote:My Birthday.

Assholes.
Spend your birthday in NZ; the end will be timed for Middle Eastern time, so you'll get 12 hours or so of your borthday in before armageddon!
Plus I can mock all the dead terrorists. Thats a plan.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by DrMatt »

I'm thinking it would be rather fitting if 144000 promoters of this sort of thing were to suddenly disappear unexpectedly on that day, and nobody noticed.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by grayman »

DrMatt wrote:I'm thinking it would be rather fitting if 144000 promoters of this sort of thing were to suddenly disappear unexpectedly on that day, and nobody noticed.
Better yet, they are the only ones left behind.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by Llacheu »

Unless the 144,000 included someone famous, all the rapture would amount to is an increased number of missing person reports.
In fact, 10,500 BC was the first time Orion's belt was ever visible in the night sky and the alignment is perfect.

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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by sparks »

grayman wrote:
DrMatt wrote:I'm thinking it would be rather fitting if 144000 promoters of this sort of thing were to suddenly disappear unexpectedly on that day, and nobody noticed.
Better yet, they are the only ones left behind.
FTW.
:)
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by MLynn »

Ignorance - Christians need some education......this is what Jesus said. Besides, if Sir Isaac Newton couldn't figure out the end of the world, no one else can either.

Matthew 24:35-36 (King James Version)

35 Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away.
36 But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by izittrue »

So pretty much we don't want to go to heaven because it will pass away. So we need to figure out a way to turn into his words since they will live forever.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by gnome »

I'm betting that correctly translated "heaven" in this passage doesn't mean "Heaven" where you spend an eternity... doing whatever is supposedly paradise to enjoy an eternity of...

...but I bet it really just means the skies above earth literally.
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by MLynn »

gnome wrote:I'm betting that correctly translated "heaven" in this passage doesn't mean "Heaven" where you spend an eternity... doing whatever is supposedly paradise to enjoy an eternity of...

...but I bet it really just means the skies above earth literally.
Yes, the "heavens" vs. Heaven IIRC.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by asthmatic camel »

I'd rather like to go to Heaven and play a badly-tuned harp, sitting on a cloud, for all eternity. Pissing off the cherubim, seraphim, Jeebus, Mary and Yahweh would amuse me.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by gnome »

"And now... ONE MORE TIME!"
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one. And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! (Beat) Unless it's a farm!"
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by TheAtheist »

Abdul Alhazred wrote:Update: They are still doing the countdown. http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/index.html

It remains to be seen if they will start backtracking before the big day.
No, but I'll bet they backtrack the day after.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by grayman »

1994 AD—On September 7th, the first 2300-day period of the great tribulation came to an end and the latter rain began...
Rain or reign?
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by Doctor X »

Unfortunately, the texts have Junior specify the eschaton would happen within a very particular time-frame. While one may not know the exact day and hour--the authors were not that stupid--one did know it must come within the life-times of the characters in the stories. There are two passages from Mk where Junior predicts the eschaton within the life-times of the audience in the story.

In Mk 9:1--Copied by Mt in Mt 16:28 and Lk in Lk 9:27--Junior states the eschaton will happen in the lifetime of those "standing here"--his audience in the story:
And he said to them, "Truly I tell you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see that the kingdom of God has come with power." (NRSV)

καὶ ἔλεγεν αὐτοῖς· Ἀμὴν λέγω ὑμῖν ὅτι εἰσίν τινες τῶν ὧδε ἑστηκότων οἵτινες οὐ μὴ γεύσωνται θανάτου ἕως ἂν ἴδωσιν τὴν βασιλείαν τοῦ θεοῦ ἐληλυθυῖαν ἐν δυνάμει.(SBLGNT)

Mk 13:30-31--Mt 24:34-35 and Lk 21:32-32 : this is the infamous prediction that the eschaton will happen in the life time of his audience's generation:
"Truly I tell you, this generation will not pass away until all these things have taken place. Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away." (NRSV)

ἀμὴν λέγω ὑμῖν ὅτι οὐ μὴ παρέλθῃ ἡ γενεὰ αὕτη μέχρις οὗ ταῦτα πάντα γένηται. ὁ οὐρανὸς καὶ ἡ γῆ παρελεύσονται, οἱ δὲ λόγοι μου οὐ μὴ παρελεύσονται. (SBLGNT)
I removed the textual critical markings. Apologists try to redefine a "generation," but with Mk 9:1 above and the fact that both Mt and Lk accept it, they all expected "it" to happen in their individual lifetimes. The SBLGNT differs from the one I usually use--the Nestle-Aland Greek NT (NA-GNT 26 Rev. Edition)--in Mk 9:1a in word order--ὧδε τῶν ἑστηκότων--rather than τῶν ὧδε ἑστηκότων--and agrees completely with it in Mk 13:30-31.

Abbreviations:

NRSV = New Revised Standard Version

SBLGNT = Society for Biblical Literature Greek New Testament

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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by DrMatt »

I got an invitation to "Backpedaling Day" but was unsure what to make of it until you reminded me of this thread. Backpedaling Day is May 22.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by Nyarlathotep »

Abdul Alhazred wrote:Update: The DawkTM hits a home run.

Richard Dawkins interview in The Washington Post
Why is a serious newspaper like the Washington Post giving space to a raving loon?

...
:clap:
And he answers the question very precisely in his next sentence, because thus guy, unlike the hobo beneath the bridge muttering about the end of the world, can afford billboard space and lots of it. Shoot, there are two of them even in my little corner of nowhere, I suppose more densely populated regions have even more.

So I can't really blame a newspaper for covering this to an extent. Even if you don't buy into the idea a single bit, you see enough of the billboards and you begin to wonder "Why the hell are all these billboards proclaiming the end of the world popping up lately?" and the answer to that question is news, even though it simply boils down to "A rich nut put them there."
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by orphia nay »

Why are they bothering to put up billboards and promote this? Only 200 million will be raptured, according to them. Surely the biblical bus is booked out.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by Philip »

NPR has had a couple of stories on this:



Some people have left their jobs in preparation for the rapture. Weekend Edition interviewed a couple with a 2 year old kid and another due in June who left their jobs in New York, moved to Orlando, and have budgeted their savings so they'll be totally out of money on May 21.

As Dawkins said, on the 22nd Camping will do the same thing he did after September 6, 1994: he'll say he got the calculations wrong, do some more studying, and come up with a new date, and more suckers will buy into it.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by asthmatic camel »

You beat me to it.

Bunch of cunts.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by grayman »

Why send any gift? It's not like they're gonna need in another week, right?
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by Anaxagoras »

Philip wrote:NPR has had a couple of stories on this:



Some people have left their jobs in preparation for the rapture. Weekend Edition interviewed a couple with a 2 year old kid and another due in June who left their jobs in New York, moved to Orlando, and have budgeted their savings so they'll be totally out of money on May 21.

As Dawkins said, on the 22nd Camping will do the same thing he did after September 6, 1994: he'll say he got the calculations wrong, do some more studying, and come up with a new date, and more suckers will buy into it.
"We budgeted everything so that, on May 21, we won't have anything left," Adrienne adds.
Because having any kind of safety net would betray a lack of faith.
I've asked a dozen of Camping's followers the same question. Everyone said even entertaining the possibility that May 21 would come and go without event is an offense to God. They all hope they'll be raptured. Some worry about being left behind.
:lol:
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by grayman »

And on that date Cthulhu shall return to power...

Image
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by Doctor X »

But . . . who will he come with?

South Park:

Image

Tu-Thulhu-C-thul-hu!
Cthulhu-C-thul-hu!
Yeahayeah!

The evil hate-filled Cthulhu!
From the dimension far away!
Flying through gates madness
And into your heart!
Yeah! Fuck all you!

Image

Turning dreams into nightmares!
Lick my balls!
Destroying all he sees!
Now begins a new adventure for
me!

You and the Dark One, Cthulhu!
Sharing adventures and smiles!
It's a magical bond two pals can share!
Soon the whole world will be made aware!

Image

Oh you and the Death Lord Cthulhu!
Making the world a better place!
Together you will have so much fun!
Sending all my stupid friends to obliv-i-ON!

Image

You and the Dark One, Cthulhu!
Suck it, Bitches!

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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by grayman »

If you happen to be in Witchita, Kansas on Saturday, there will be a Rapture Day event. Looks interesting.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by jacks »

Just took a second look at my milk container, it expires May, 21, 2011.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by Nyarlathotep »

To be honest, the 21st scares me a little bit. Not because I believe in this end of the world crap, but because there are apparently a lot of people who DO belive this end of the world crap. A large, well funded apocalyptic cult that thinks the end of the world is literally going to happen within days can be a scary thing.

Of course, that won't stop me from pointing and laughing come Sunday. BUt I do worry that some of them are going to do something crazy/stupid on Saturday.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by asthmatic camel »

Can't help fools.
Shit happens. The older you get, the more often shit happens. So you have to try not to give a shit even when you do. Because, if you give too many shits, you've created your own shit creek and there's no way out other than swimming through the shit. Oh, and fuck.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by sparks »

Lock and load, I should think would be the correct response to this 3nd Ov T3h Werld nonsense. Saturday will be my night to run a couple of good End Of The World DVDs while enjoying a fine Single Malt or two. I recommend On The Beach with Greg Peck, Ava Gardner, Fred Astaire, and Tony Perkins.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by Nyarlathotep »

asthmatic camel wrote:Can't help fools.
It's fools tryin to" help" ME that I worry about.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by Nyarlathotep »

sparks wrote:Lock and load, I should think would be the correct response to this 3nd Ov T3h Werld nonsense. Saturday will be my night to run a couple of good End Of The World DVDs while enjoying a fine Single Malt or two. I recommend On The Beach with Greg Peck, Ava Gardner, Fred Astaire, and Tony Perkins.

I'd pick The Last Man on Earth, aka the GOOD film version of I Am Legend with Vincent Price, not that crappy Will Smith vehicle. The Omega Man is a good version too, in its own cheesey way.

There's also The Book of Eli, which is a good post-apocalypse movie despite its religious subtext.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by sparks »

Agreed on the Vincent Price version. Saw the trailers for the Will Smith debacle and said no to that one.
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by En folkefiende »

Hm, maybe take an old pair of sandals, a worn set of white socks, the old green bell bottoms from 1968, old underwear, and an old shirt, and arrange them as though they fell off a now-missing body somewhere on the sidewalk.

Hmm. Y'think?
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by sparks »

You'll make the baby Jeebus cry if you fake your own Rapture!
You can lead them to knowledge, but you can't make them think.
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by En folkefiende »

sparks wrote:You'll make the baby Jeebus cry if you fake your own Rapture!
(sings, tune == 'Old Rugged Cross')
On a hill
Faraway
Stood an old
Chevrolet
...
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by Anaxagoras »

It's Armageddon Day!

You know that it starts in Japan first, right? Well, maybe not first, but before all of you people. It's not all at once, but goes time-zone by time-zone, IIRC.

SO neener, neener neener! :P
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Re: Countdown time. It's in the Bible, right?

Post by DrMatt »

Proselytizers are all over the "Post-rapture party" pages on Facebook. They like to imagine themselves as participating in a "productive debate". They're getting trounced.
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