Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Never agree to 3 points on top of the vig.
Doctor X
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Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Doctor X »

After MORE than a decade . . . of dominance and nearly two decades of Dynasty!!

https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/0cetilI ... 8e6c41.gif

From The Office of the Two Time Grand Champion

"The merciful and compassionate!"

And this is how I began last year quoting how we began the previous year . . . quoting how we began the previous year . . . quoting how we began the previous year quoting how we began the previous year . . . quoting the previous year . . . quoting the previous year . . . quoting the previous year . . . quoting the previous year . . . quoting the previous year . . . quoting the previous year . . . quoting the previous year:
There is that scent in the air . . . the scent of Dolphin failure! The scent of Chicago not having a quarterback! The scent of San Diego Los Angeles fans still not over last year!
Has anything really changed? We could add Saints, Indy, and Pissburgh [Stop that. – Ed.] fans.

There is a scent in the air. . . .
Ramathorn: What's that smell Rabbit?

https://media1.popsugar-assets.com/file ... oopers.jpg

Rabbit: FEAR!
AND WHAT A SEASON IT IS SHAPING UP TO BECOME! {It goes to 11!} [Shhh!--Ed.]

The rules, as Carr explained, remain:

T3h Rulz:

Rule the First: "Same idea as last year. Pick a team each week, if that team loses you then own that team and get one point for each regular season win that team gets."

ALL games count: Thursday, Sunday, Day-Night Double-Header to make up for a rain out. . . . I follow the NFL Schedule. So start picking NOW!

Rule the Second: You can pick and change up to the time of kickoff.

Rule the Third: "Mulligan!!"
  • 1. Regular Season: each player has one "Mulligan." Those with one will have an "*" next to their name in the Grid of Despair. That means you get one chance to pick a second game if your first game FAILS.

    You declare it . . . you used it whatever the outcome of the first game is.

    2. Playoffs? http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264 ... 9d8ee1.gif

    3. What if Gonna be Absent? For those who are "away" one may post or PM. The second pick must be before the kick-off of that game. So, yes, you can fail on Sunday and pick a later game, even Monday Night Football.

    You can post "Imma picking Denver to lose but if that FAIL, I am picking the Jags to lose!"

    You have used your "Mulligan."
Bonus Points: :hyper:

Win a Division: 4 points
Wild Card: 2 points
Win in First Round of playoffs : 3 point
Win in Divisional Round: 5 points
Win Conference Championship: 7 points
Win Superbowl: 15 points

Supersorrytomakeyoucrybubblebonus: The team that finishes one place out of a playoff spot pays a 2.5 point bonus.
This will be based on the semi-official NFL standings.

ExtraEvidencesDr.XMeaniebonus: Beating the Patriots pays 1 point.

DoNotJudgeOthersbyYourStandardsCHARLEY_BIGTIMEbonus: Beating Pittsburgh pays 1 point.

Doctor X is a MEANIE Point: Your Humble and Magnificent Messiah [PBUH--Ed.] gets 1 points if you pick the Patriots to lose and they win.

Dipshit Bonus: http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264 ... 5f0c4f.gif 6 point bonus if you own all teams playing in a playoff round (and thus cannot pick a team)--unLESS:

RadrickGamblingBonus: http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264 ... 7ad267.gif if eligible for the Dipshit Bonus, you can still choose to pick a loser. If the team loses, you get 10 points. If they win, you get . . . nothing! And you will like it!

In the Rain Bonus: If you have a team that fires a coach before and including Week 9, you get 10 points. If you have a team whose coach is fired before Brack Fliday [Monday--Ed.], you get 5 points. After Brack Fliday [Monday--Ed.] you get 2 points:
  • 1. Rained on by Week 9: 10 points.
    2. Rained on before Brack Fliday [Monday--Ed.]: 5 points
    3. Rained on on or after Brack Fliday [Monday--Ed.]: 2 points
shempICan'tWinforLosingBonus: If you pick a team up to and including Week 12 OR prior to the first team to clinch a playoff spot AND your team is losing by 14 or more points in the 4th quarter yet they win? You get 1 point consolation. And you will like it.

Super Bowl is the cut-off.

http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264 ... 2gwavb.jpg

Playoffs: "Playoffs? Playoffs?!"

If you pick a team to lose IN the playoffs, you get only the season wins and any previous post season wins. No play-off bonuses.

I am ethically and spiritually barred from choosing NE since I would be guaranteeing myself my own "MEANIE point." If the situation arises in the "Playoffs?" where there is no team I can pick, I default to either the Dipshit Bonus or the RadrickGamblingBonus.

SUGGESTIONS will be entertained.



--J. "You Can't Dust for Vomit!" [Shhh!--Ed.] D.

P.S. https://i.imgur.com/uONqlaH.gif
shemp
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by shemp »

Pissburg Squealers to squeal like a stuck pig at the hands of the Greatest Team of All Time!TM

And thanks to Doctor X for once again making life worth living!*

* Are there any bonus points for brown nosing?
Evolver
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Evolver »

shemp wrote: Sun Sep 01, 2019 4:02 pm And thanks to Doctor X for once again making life worth living!
That's a bit over the top.
I would say thanks to Doctor X for once again making games not featuring the Patriots worth watching!
DJ
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by DJ »

Stealers to lose
izittrue
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by izittrue »

Thx DocX for making us cry. You are humble and magnificent. Much like a Yahweh.
shemp
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by shemp »

I guess we need a "Suck Up" rule with bonus points for ass-kissing.
izittrue
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by izittrue »

shemp wrote: Mon Sep 02, 2019 11:23 pm I guess we need a "Suck Up" rule with bonus points for ass-kissing.
At least bring back the izittrue bonus jinx points.
Anaxagoras
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Anaxagoras »

I'll go with the Fudge Packers this week.
Doctor X
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Doctor X »

Just merely being a River to my people.

Grid of Despair will go up in a few days as more make pickies.

Every man, even one Humble – Yes MagNIfIcent – has a price, and it is very, very low. . . .

–J.D.
Doctor X
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Doctor X »



–J.D.
shemp
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by shemp »

Anaxagoras wrote: Tue Sep 03, 2019 1:35 am I'll go with the Fudge Packers this week.
Yes, good strategy, best not to choose any team playing the Jets.
Doctor X
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Doctor X »



–J.D.
Evolver
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Evolver »

Anaxagoras wrote: Tue Sep 03, 2019 1:35 am I'll go with the Fudge Packers this week.
Too much information, Anax. Toooooooooo much.

And I pick Ben Classlessburger & the Squealers to lose.
WildCat
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by WildCat »

Fudgepackers
WildCat
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by WildCat »

Grammatron
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Grammatron »

Carolina Pussies
gnome
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by gnome »

Squealers
Doctor X
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Doctor X »

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/wat ... 1228025240

–J.D.
Last edited by Doctor X on Thu Sep 05, 2019 6:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
Grammatron
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Grammatron »

I don't post for a week and I become invisible.
Doctor X
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Doctor X »



–J. "Fuck YOU! Francis!!" D.
Grammatron
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Grammatron »

System quarterback
Doctor X
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Doctor X »

Grammatron wrote: Thu Sep 05, 2019 6:10 am I don't post for a week and I become invisible.
Who are you again?

–J.D.
Doctor X
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Doctor X »

https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca88777 ... Q27-IBzkuY

–J.D.
Last edited by Doctor X on Mon Sep 09, 2019 5:29 am, edited 4 times in total.
Anaxagoras
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Anaxagoras »

Aw, crap. The Fudge Packers are going to win this thing, aren't they.
Grammatron
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Grammatron »

Trubisky just gave away the game.
shemp
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by shemp »

Anaxagoras wrote: Fri Sep 06, 2019 3:21 am Aw, crap. The Fudge Packers are going to win this thing, aren't they.
Hey, at least you got 15 games to choose from with that mulligan.

Here's a good joke:
billsjets.jpg
Choose wisely!
Last edited by shemp on Fri Sep 06, 2019 3:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
Anaxagoras
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Anaxagoras »

shemp wrote: Fri Sep 06, 2019 3:49 am
Anaxagoras wrote: Fri Sep 06, 2019 3:21 am Aw, crap. The Fudge Packers are going to win this thing, aren't they.
Hey, at least you got 15 games to choose from with that mulligan.
Yeah, I kinda hate having to use it in the first week though.
Chicago was a 12-4 team last year, playing at home. Seemed like a good bet. :evil:
WildCat
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by WildCat »

Yeah, no reason to play the starters in the pre-season. That offense was sharp as a tack tonight... :x
Grammatron
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Grammatron »

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EDwERf3UUAA83qp.jpg
izittrue
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by izittrue »

New York football Giants to lose week one.
Grammatron
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Grammatron »

Antonio Brown is an idiot.
shemp
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by shemp »

Stupid fucking twat! Blows off $50 million! For that kind of money I'd spend 3 years neck deep in elephant shit! Fuck, for that money I'd even vote for Trump! I hope he ends up dead in a ditch with Boris Johnson!

Unless, of course, the Pats sign him.
Pyrrho
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Pyrrho »

Squealers.
Anaxagoras
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Anaxagoras »

I'll use my mulligan to pick the Bungles.
shemp
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by shemp »

Like I said, Antonio Brown is a genius, a wonderful guy, can't do any wrong, may he live long and prosper!

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap300000 ... h-patriots
Anaxagoras
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Anaxagoras »

Grammatron wrote: Sat Sep 07, 2019 5:45 pm Antonio Brown is an idiot.
shemp wrote: Sat Sep 07, 2019 9:11 pm Like I said, Antonio Brown is a genius, a wonderful guy, can't do any wrong, may he live long and prosper!

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap300000 ... h-patriots
Wait, this is the guy who refused to play if he couldn't wear his favorite helmet, right?

Maybe the helmet wasn't the real issue?

Maybe he just wanted to play for the Patriots, even for less money?
Doctor X
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Doctor X »

This is why Satan, El, Inanna, and Bon Jovi have to make an appointment to see His Merciful Dark Hoodie, Anax.

–J.D.
shemp
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by shemp »

Joke of the week:

Jimmy Johnson: "[The Jets] can make the playoffs!"

:doglaugh:

Grammatron
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by Grammatron »

Anaxagoras wrote: Sun Sep 08, 2019 6:44 am
Grammatron wrote: Sat Sep 07, 2019 5:45 pm Antonio Brown is an idiot.
shemp wrote: Sat Sep 07, 2019 9:11 pm Like I said, Antonio Brown is a genius, a wonderful guy, can't do any wrong, may he live long and prosper!

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap300000 ... h-patriots
Wait, this is the guy who refused to play if he couldn't wear his favorite helmet, right?

Maybe the helmet wasn't the real issue?

Maybe he just wanted to play for the Patriots, even for less money?
Since we're guessing I am guessing he's an idiot.
shemp
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Re: Sorry to Make You Cry XV

Post by shemp »

Yes but now he's OUR idiot!

If he doesn't shape up and fly right, His Eminence will ship him out on the next bus (and throw him under).