A Thought for the Day

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Tue Oct 19, 2021 7:59 am

When introducing me, he would always make up a story. . . . My favorite icebreaker was, "Mick James, he's my neighbor, he's recently got out of prison."

– James Duddridge, M.P., paying tribute to the Late Sir David Amess, M.P.

– J.D.

robinson · Post by **robinson** » Tue Oct 19, 2021 4:27 pm

Just heard Jesus say

“Why the fuck they worshipping crosses for?

What part of the story makes them think I like crosses?”

Ben Trovado · Post by **Ben Trovado** » Tue Oct 19, 2021 9:54 pm

I will never forget the words of my high school debate coach.

"Little grasshopper, do not get panties tied in knots. When panties tied in knot, hard to walk."

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Wed Oct 20, 2021 1:53 am

Your most determined advocates have scruples about them, which you are unacquainted with; and though there be nothing too hazardous for your Grace to engage in, there are some things too infamous for the vilest prostitute of a newspaper to defend.

– Junius to the Duke of Grafton

– J.D.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Thu Oct 21, 2021 5:40 am

. . . there is little diference [Sic – Ed.] between a seat in parliament for seven years, and a seat for life. The prospect of your resentment is too remote; and although the last session of a septennial parliament be usually employed in courting the favour of the people, consider that, at this rate, your representatives have six years for offence, and but one for atonement. A death-bed repentance seldom reaches to restitution.

–Junius

–J.D.

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Sun Oct 24, 2021 12:59 am

Instead of buying expensive binoculars. Just move closer to the things you wish to look at.

~ Moi

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sat Oct 30, 2021 7:53 am

Science is not racial, but ignorance is.

– J.D.

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Sat Oct 30, 2021 7:23 pm

NoZedAvenger · Post by **NoZedAvenger** » Sun Oct 31, 2021 1:45 am

Hotarubi wrote: ↑Sun Oct 24, 2021 12:59 am Instead of buying expensive binoculars. Just move closer to the things you wish to look at.

~ Moi

I'm not short. I'm just standing farther away than you think.

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Sun Oct 31, 2021 4:37 am

NoZedAvenger wrote: ↑Sun Oct 31, 2021 1:45 am
Hotarubi wrote: ↑Sun Oct 24, 2021 12:59 am Instead of buying expensive binoculars. Just move closer to the things you wish to look at.

~ Moi
I'm not short. I'm just standing farther away than you think.

Who the hell are you anyway.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sun Oct 31, 2021 5:06 am

Some git who forgot who he was logged in as.

– J.D.

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Sun Oct 31, 2021 10:03 am

Doctor X wrote: ↑Sun Oct 31, 2021 5:06 am Some git who forgot who he was logged in as.

– J.D.

There's alot of that going around.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sun Oct 31, 2021 10:24 am

– J. "What a Stupid Question" D.

NoZedAvenger · Post by **NoZedAvenger** » Sun Oct 31, 2021 8:23 pm

Hotarubi wrote: ↑Sun Oct 31, 2021 4:37 am
NoZedAvenger wrote: ↑Sun Oct 31, 2021 1:45 am
Hotarubi wrote: ↑Sun Oct 24, 2021 12:59 am Instead of buying expensive binoculars. Just move closer to the things you wish to look at.

~ Moi
I'm not short. I'm just standing farther away than you think.
Who the hell are you anyway.

Does NO ONE read the program any more when they go to the game??

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Mon Nov 01, 2021 6:16 am

I am obsessed with sex. Ever since I discovered that my God-given male member was going to give me no peace, I decided to give it no rest in return. Seems fair to me.

– Christopher Hitchens, Intelligence² Debate

– J.D.

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Wed Nov 03, 2021 9:33 am

NoZedAvenger wrote: ↑Sun Oct 31, 2021 8:23 pm
Hotarubi wrote: ↑Sun Oct 31, 2021 4:37 am
NoZedAvenger wrote: ↑Sun Oct 31, 2021 1:45 am
Hotarubi wrote: ↑Sun Oct 24, 2021 12:59 am Instead of buying expensive binoculars. Just move closer to the things you wish to look at.

~ Moi
I'm not short. I'm just standing farther away than you think.
Who the hell are you anyway.
Does NO ONE read the program any more when they go to the game??

Not when you already know who is playing.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Fri Nov 05, 2021 6:56 am

– J. "Now . . . Did I, or Did I Not Cover Vaginal Juices?!" D.

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Thu Nov 18, 2021 8:50 pm

Do crabs think humans walk funny?

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Fri Nov 19, 2021 3:27 am

Do Crab People think either walk funny?

– J.D.

Paulie Cicero · Post by **Paulie Cicero** » Fri Nov 19, 2021 3:35 pm

Funny how?

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Fri Nov 19, 2021 3:43 pm

It's . . . the way you tell a story.

– J.D.

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Fri Nov 19, 2021 5:36 pm

Doctor X wrote: ↑Fri Nov 19, 2021 3:43 pm It's . . . the way you tell a story.

– J.D.

I guess we had to be there.

Ben Trovado · Post by **Ben Trovado** » Mon Nov 22, 2021 4:45 pm

I can't have an opinion on this; I haven't had crabs.

Say, why hasn't Ed chimed in?

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Mon Nov 22, 2021 5:34 pm

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_graffiti

Graffiti is often meant to be seen and expects to be read. A dialogue is formed between the reader and the inscription and can be simple as they speak directly to the readers in forms such as "if anyone sits here, let him read this before everything else…" as well as "He who writes this is in love… and I who reads this am a prick."

There are also dialogues where one passage answers another. These responses take the forms of greetings, insults, prayers, etc.

Successus textor amat coponiaes ancilla(m)
nomine Hiredem quae quidem illum
non curat sed ille rogat illa com(m)iseretur
scribit rivalis vale

Translates to:

Successus the weaver is in love with the slave of the
Innkeeper, whose name is Iris. She doesn't care about
him at all, but he asks that she take pity on him.
A rival wrote this

A response to this translates to:[6]

You're so jealous you're bursting. Don't tear down
someone more handsome―
a guy who could beat you up and who is good-looking.

We've made approximately zero progress since that time.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Mon Nov 22, 2021 8:00 pm

Well, we have spray cheese.

Did Rome have spray cheese?

Quod erat demonstrandum.

– J.D.

Ben Trovado · Post by **Ben Trovado** » Mon Nov 22, 2021 9:11 pm

I remember back when we were kids, with old Mr. Rothmore next door.

Every day he'd have tadpoles nailed to a board that he would spin and spin on an old tree stump.

Wherever it landed, he would laugh and yell out "Tadpoles!! Tadpoles the winner!!"

We all thought he was crazy.

But then, we all had some growing up to do.

- Jack Handy (paraphrased from memory c. 1987)

Grammatron · Post by **Grammatron** » Mon Nov 22, 2021 9:17 pm

Using Jack Handy is cheating.

robinson · Post by **robinson** » Tue Nov 23, 2021 4:02 am

The broadcasting of college football has changed the way a college football game is played now. All the breaks for commercials (recall that it is about the money) makes what used to take two hours to complete, last four hours, or four and a half hours,

This is a drastic change that alters the outcome of games.

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Wed Nov 24, 2021 1:11 am

When you've got raisins and turds -,you've still got turds.

~ Charlie Munger

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Wed Nov 24, 2021 3:55 pm

He [Vice Adm. William "Bull" Halsey – Ed.] was willing to be kidded about his lack of fortitude under fire. When the Enterprise was attacked by Japanese warplanes of the Marshall Islands in February 1942, Halsey threw himself flat on the deck, forsaking the grandeur of his three-star rank. As he picked himself up, he noticed that one of his young signalmen was stifling a laugh. "Who the hell are you laughing at?" he asked. "You don't have rank enough to laugh at an admiral." As the man began to apologize, perhaps fearing he was in serious trouble, Halsey cut him off, saying, "I'm going to make you a Chief Petty Officer – that will make it look better."

– quoted from Ian W. Toll, The Conquering Tide: War in the Pacific Islands, 1942 – 1944. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2015, p. 193.

– J.D.

robinson · Post by **robinson** » Wed Nov 24, 2021 5:14 pm

Grammatron wrote: ↑Mon Nov 22, 2021 9:17 pm Using Jack Handy is cheating.

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Thu Nov 25, 2021 4:33 pm

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Thu Nov 25, 2021 8:51 pm

But she has a green check mark!

– J.D.

ceptimus · Post by **ceptimus** » Thu Nov 25, 2021 11:49 pm

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Fri Nov 26, 2021 12:03 am

What was so depressing about the first eight clouds then?

ceptimus · Post by **ceptimus** » Fri Nov 26, 2021 12:21 am

Hotarubi wrote: ↑Fri Nov 26, 2021 12:03 am What was so depressing about the first eight clouds then?

The story goes that a new cloud atlas, published in 1896, listed cloud nine as the cumulonimbus "the tallest cloud on earth", so if you were floating on cloud nine, you'd be higher than anyone floating on any other cloud.

Nonsense, of course, because in that same cloud atlas, it was acknowledged that cirrus clouds are higher than cumulonimbus - even though they're not as tall.

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Fri Nov 26, 2021 12:25 am

You ruined it.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Fri Nov 26, 2021 12:57 am

Remember, with every silver lining, there's a dark cloud.

– Al Sleet

– J.D.

robinson · Post by **robinson** » Fri Nov 26, 2021 1:22 am

Declassified documents from the Nixon era showed that the Generals refused to send more troops to Nam, telling Nixon they had to keep them in n the states.

To protect the government from the increasing protest, which had turned violent. The bomb that went off on in the Capital building in DC was a warning from the weather underground. If they didn’t stop the war, the next one was going to kill politicians.

This is all in government documents that have been declassified

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Fri Nov 26, 2021 1:59 am

I was listening to talksport radio over here the other day, and on a whim the two presenters asked if anyone has done exactly what a song title suggests.

One listener called in saying he had a coffee break after listening to Dave Brubek's "Take Five", another said in a car show room he did a "pointy hand dance with neck jerks" after listening to "Walk like an Egyptian " by the Bangles and the third said he checked his tyre pressure after hearing "Pump it up" by Elvis Costello.

Imagine my disappointment, while lying in my hospital bed with a Fractured skull, shattered pelvis , 6 broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder and a compound fracture of the femur when taking their advice after listening to Van Halen's 'Jump", they didn't put me on air.