The Judge Judy Thread

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Tue Dec 07, 2021 7:23 am

Mrs. Camel is addicted, I am not. To the extent that I spend three or four hours a day cycling. In the dismal British Winter.

Stupid Americans suing one another over stupid things.

"She stole my lipstick!

"Officer Byrd, would you kindly escort this moron from the court?"

" Gladly, Ma'am."

This should probably be in the "What The Fuck Is Going on in 'Murica" thread but I decided it deserved a new one.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Tue Dec 07, 2021 7:44 am

You do not even want to contemplate the amount of money she makes per episode.

– J.D.

robinson · Post by **robinson** » Tue Dec 07, 2021 12:34 pm

asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Tue Dec 07, 2021 7:23 am Stupid Americans suing one another over stupid things.

That's exactly the show!

It is fucking great sometimes. And all those people in the audience? They are paid to be there.

robinson · Post by **robinson** » Tue Dec 07, 2021 12:35 pm

Judy flies in, films enough shows for months, in a couple of days, flies back to her mansion, and doesn't even count the money.

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Tue Dec 07, 2021 7:52 pm

"Judgement in favor of the plaintiff in the amount of $35... now fuck off."

Officer Burt is awesome.

You Americans are lucky. We have Judge Rinder which is 642 levels of more shitter.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Wed Dec 08, 2021 2:51 am

Doctor X wrote: ↑Tue Dec 07, 2021 7:44 am You do not even want to contemplate the amount of money she makes per episode.

– J.D.

I have a very, very good idea, Doc.

You know, I'm qualified to act as an Idndependant Financial Advisor over here. I'm fucking good at it, too. BUT, and it's a BIG BUT, I'd have to deal with cretins who haven't the faintest idea about how the stock markets work, the relative risks of buying rental properties, when and when not to buy gold, etc.

I could make a mint but it's too much fucking trouble.

ed · Post by ed » Wed Dec 08, 2021 11:37 am

Buy ammo.
https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/06 ... 08x425.jpg
"I doesn't bear thinking about"

ceptimus · Post by **ceptimus** » Wed Dec 08, 2021 10:06 pm

We used to have a TV series, Crown Court years ago, that was a better format than these modern 'judges' programs.
It was fiction, written by scriptwriters, and the defendants, lawyers and judges were all played by actors - but the jury was twelve real members of the public. The show used to run over a few days - I forget how many - with each complete trial usually completed within a week.

The script was written so that on Mondays you thought the defendant was guilty, Tuesdays you thought they were innocent, and by Wednesday you were never sure...

I suppose if they bought the format back now, they could still have the jury, but you could also have an on-line vote of guilty or innocent, to see whether the public at home agreed with the jury's decision.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Wed Dec 08, 2021 10:29 pm

Hotarubi wrote: ↑Tue Dec 07, 2021 7:52 pm "Judgement in favor of the plaintiff in the amount of $35... now fuck off."

Officer Burt is awesome.

You Americans are lucky. We have Judge Rinder which is 642 levels of more shitter.

Sweet Bleeding Jeebus, how right you are.

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Wed Dec 08, 2021 10:56 pm

For the confused Americans - Judge Grindr

https://i.ibb.co/hBXffcm/1475758523-judge-rinder-strictly-come-dancing.jpg

Not that there's..

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Wed Dec 08, 2021 11:10 pm

ceptimus wrote: ↑Wed Dec 08, 2021 10:06 pm We used to have a TV series, Crown Court years ago, that was a better format than these modern 'judges' programs.
It was fiction, written by scriptwriters, and the defendants, lawyers and judges were all played by actors - but the jury was twelve real members of the public. The show used to run over a few days - I forget how many - with each complete trial usually completed within a week.

The script was written so that on Mondays you thought the defendant was guilty, Tuesdays you thought they were innocent, and by Wednesday you were never sure...

I suppose if they bought the format back now, they could still have the jury, but you could also have an on-line vote of guilty or innocent, to see whether the public at home agreed with the jury's decision.

FACTuals.

"Crown Court" was set in the fictional Town of Fulchester. As are all the stories in Viz magazine. No coincidence.

OI. Crown Court. Used to be on after ITN News at One and The Sullivans. Far more interesting than Pebble Mill or kipper tied twats on BBC2s Open University. I still remember one storyline vividly where a roadie had chucked an over enthusiastic groupie off a stage and she landed face first on a set of stage lights and blinded her.

Guys. Kids are watching this.

Thems were happy viewings though, those days when you had fooled Mam after pulling a sickie and got a few days off school. Pointless viewing on school holidays, mind.

During the war, I particularly rememb

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Thu Dec 09, 2021 12:31 am

ceptimus wrote: ↑Wed Dec 08, 2021 10:06 pm
I suppose if they bought the format back now, they could still have the jury, but you could also have an on-line vote of guilty or innocent, to see whether the public at home agreed with the jury's decision.

It would also be hosted by a legal expert such as Rylan Neal-Clark.

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Thu Dec 09, 2021 5:01 am

I think I may have seen bits of this show a long time ago, back when I lived in America. Apparently it ran for 25 years. Nothing recently.

Out of curiosity I googled her and found this:

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radi ... -streaming

One of the enduring mysteries of the last few decades is how Judy Sheindlin became the highest-paid woman on American television. Towards the end of Judge Judy’s 25-year run, Sheindlin was hauling in $47m a year (her estimated net worth is about $440m). Since the show only required her to work for 52 days a year, that meant she earned $900,000 just by showing up. And this was Judge Judy, for crying out loud. It was a televised small-claims court. It was, by its very nature, mundane and repetitious.

Judge Judy: ‘If you decide to stay too long at the party, your makeup begins to fade.’
Judge Judy: 'Are my feelings PC and kumbaya? No. They are realistic'
Read more
And now it is over. Earlier this year, Sheindlin made the decision to hang up her gavel. You might not have noticed, since Judge Judy has been airing in reruns since then, and every episode is absolutely identical to every other episode. But while you or I might take this downtime as an opportunity to kick back and enjoy our mountains of unimaginable wealth, Sheindlin has not. For she already has a new show on IMDb TV. It’s called Judy Justice. And if you liked Judge Judy then, oh boy, are your rock-bottom expectations about to be expertly filled.

The format wasn't even original. You had The People's Court before it, which was an identical show with a different judge.

For almost a million dollars per episode. Can't say I blame her. If it works, it works. Nobody has to watch this if they don't want to. And she made almost half a billion doing it.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Fri Dec 10, 2021 8:54 am

Hotarubi wrote: ↑Wed Dec 08, 2021 10:56 pm For the confused Americans - Judge Grindr

https://i.ibb.co/hBXffcm/1475758523-judge-rinder-strictly-come-dancing.jpg

Not that there's..

Oh, brother Hotarubi, you're spot on.

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Fri Dec 10, 2021 9:04 am

I have it on good authority , that JJ is more trustworthy than Clint Eastwood , but less so than Sandra Bullock.

And that is science intangibles fact.

ed · Post by ed » Fri Dec 10, 2021 11:05 am

ceptimus wrote: ↑Wed Dec 08, 2021 10:06 pm We used to have a TV series, Crown Court years ago, that was a better format than these modern 'judges' programs.
It was fiction, written by scriptwriters, and the defendants, lawyers and judges were all played by actors - but the jury was twelve real members of the public. The show used to run over a few days - I forget how many - with each complete trial usually completed within a week.

The script was written so that on Mondays you thought the defendant was guilty, Tuesdays you thought they were innocent, and by Wednesday you were never sure...

I suppose if they bought the format back now, they could still have the jury, but you could also have an on-line vote of guilty or innocent, to see whether the public at home agreed with the jury's decision.

What would be cool is if the penalty was death regardless of the crime. Then you could have a spin off called "Meet Justice". And merchandising ...
https://i.imgur.com/uNLpcmH.jpg

nonono We'll call it ... ""The Penalty Phase".... yeah, thats the ticket

You would open the show having the sentence reaffirmed
https://external-content.duckduckgo.com ... f=1&nofb=1

You'd need doleful music leading up to the execution then something chipper over the closing credits.

I like it. It could replace the Cuomo/Lemon crap on CNN.

Have your girl call my girl.

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Fri Dec 10, 2021 10:56 pm

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Fri Dec 10, 2021 11:01 pm

Absolutely nothing to do with executions or Judge Judy, but it was next to the crown court thing, so I thought I would indulge you.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sat Dec 11, 2021 8:14 am

I remember September 13th.

I also remember:

I almost need to play the campy Batman theme to wash the brain.

– J.D.

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Sat Dec 11, 2021 11:20 am

Doctor X wrote: ↑Sat Dec 11, 2021 8:14 am https://i.ibb.co/QcMTmWx/Screenshot-20211211-110401-Chrome.jpg

Dipshit.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sat Dec 11, 2021 4:44 pm

Move to a Real Country.

What you get for living in one of our colonies.

– J.D.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Sat Dec 11, 2021 6:23 pm

If I moved to the colony, I'd have to pay for all my meds, which I get here for nothing. I wouldn't be able to get insurance for pre-existing conditions and I'd be broke within a year. I'm staying here. (It's really quite beautiful where I live apart from the dismal weather.)

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Sat Dec 11, 2021 8:37 pm

Stockport is the 8th wettest city in the UK.

And the weather is pretty crap too.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Sat Dec 11, 2021 8:52 pm

Try moving to Wales. It's a beautiful country but much, much damper than Stockport. You and I should pay a visit sometime.

Here's my ancestral home.

https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/chirk-castle

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sat Dec 11, 2021 9:56 pm

Can you handle all of the phlegm when the Welsh speak?

– J.D.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Sun Dec 12, 2021 12:28 am

Doctor X wrote: ↑Sat Dec 11, 2021 9:56 pm Can you handle all of the phlegm when the Welsh speak?

– J.D.

Indeed I can. My grandfather was a Welshman and spoke the language fluently. He taught me the basics when I was a boy but over the years most has been forgotten.

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/lifestyle ... ch-9557813

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Sun Dec 12, 2021 12:55 am

Here's another of my ancestral homes.

I shall refrain from boring you with Welsh history.

https://cadw.gov.wales/visit/places-to- ... igh-castle

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Sun Dec 12, 2021 2:18 am

Hotarubi, it's Officer Byrd, you ignorant cunt. ;)

https://www.the-sun.com/news/3835506/wh ... udge-judy/

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sun Dec 12, 2021 6:46 am

The Welsh seem to be focused on . . . sheep.

Not. . . .

– J.D.

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Sun Dec 12, 2021 7:36 am

asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Sun Dec 12, 2021 2:18 am Hotarubi, it's Officer Byrd, you ignorant cunt. ;)

https://www.the-sun.com/news/3835506/wh ... udge-judy/

They are American. Like the Welsh they have problems pronouncing things.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sun Dec 12, 2021 8:12 am

We know how to pronounce "Winner."

I can send you some literature on it. . . .

#totalwinyoulotworeredwalkedinstraightlinesnocentralheating

– J.D.

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Sun Dec 12, 2021 9:39 am

Doctor X wrote: ↑Sun Dec 12, 2021 8:12 am We know how to pronounce "Winner."

What's Wehnuh?

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sun Dec 12, 2021 10:56 pm

Certainly not "Weiner."

Just ask Her Turn.

– J.D.

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Fri Mar 25, 2022 3:17 am

Ok. I have watched a few episodes of JJs new show and what is clear, sadly, is that she is losing her mental faculties in very slow motion.

It's not too noticeable to start with, but there are instances where she laughs maniacally for no particular reason to the obvious embarrassment of her Clerk, reporter and obvious Bert clone who isn't and on occasion harangues defendants/plaintiffs for too long over irrelevant minutiae.

It's becoming car crash tv for the wrong (?) reasons. She should stop before it becomes a wiki paragraph.

ed · Post by ed » Fri Mar 25, 2022 10:48 am

Drink likely.

robinson2 · Post by **robinson2** » Fri Mar 25, 2022 11:39 am

I stopped watching

She and Biden should retire

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Fri Mar 25, 2022 10:12 pm

ed wrote: ↑Fri Mar 25, 2022 10:48 amDrink likely.

You know what? I'd say if it was. But it isn't.

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Fri Mar 25, 2022 10:13 pm

robinson2 wrote: ↑Fri Mar 25, 2022 11:39 am I stopped watching

She and Biden should retire

As should you.

robinson2 · Post by **robinson2** » Fri Mar 25, 2022 10:43 pm

I am retired!

Hotarubi · Post by **Hotarubi** » Fri Mar 25, 2022 10:51 pm

Couldn't agree more.