The Catwoman Sucks Thread

Drama queens must check their tiaras at the door.
Nigel
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The Catwoman Sucks Thread

Post by Nigel »

Movie Reviews: 'Catwoman'


A kitty litter box may seem more aromatic than most of the critical reaction to Catwoman. "Hisses for Catwoman" is the way Claudia Puig begins her review in USA Today. "The cats of the world will get over this insult. Most likely by sleeping through it," writes A.O. Scott in the New York Times. Likewise Jami Bernard in the New York Daily News sums up the movie by calling it a "big yawn." "What a letdown," writes Roger Ebert in the Chicago Sun-Times. "The filmmakers have given great thought to photographing [Halle] Berry, who looks fabulous, and little thought to providing her with a strong character, story, supporting characters or action sequences." Rick Groen's summation in the Toronto Globe and Mail: "Halle Berry's super slinky; Catwoman, rather stinky." Lisa Kennedy in the Denver Post describes it as a "purrfectly bad, bloated ... laughable disaster." But the dependably contrarian Kevin Thomas in the Los Angeles Times writes that the movie "is as swift and light on its feet as its heroine, Halle Berry. ... stylish and full of technical razzle-dazzle."
From imdb/studiobrief

(I hate the 'purr' pun whenever someone talks about a cat - it's 'purrfectly bad', or a dog bit is 'doggone funny'.....people who use that sort of thing will be first up against the wall when I become dictator.)
Last edited by Nigel on Wed Jul 28, 2004 9:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Quester_X
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Post by Quester_X »

All who are surprised by the critics reactions, raise your hand, so that our ushers can come beat you over the head with a baseball bat. 8)
Nigel
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Post by Nigel »

Quester_X wrote:All who are surprised by the critics reactions, raise your hand, so that our ushers can come beat you over the head with a baseball bat. 8)
Yeah.....but whattya think it'll do at the box office?
Quester_X
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Post by Quester_X »

Yeah.....but whattya think it'll do at the box office?
Hopefully not enough to warrent a sequal. I've always like the Batman characters, and this is down right terrible. :knock:
Nigel
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Post by Nigel »

Quester_X wrote:
Yeah.....but whattya think it'll do at the box office?
Hopefully not enough to warrent a sequal. I've always like the Batman characters, and this is down right terrible. :knock:
Agreed. Any idea what the story is even supposed to be?

Michelle Pfeiffer had a good turn as Catwoman in Batman Returns, and that had some semblance of a storyline (as relating to the character), but I don't know anything about this one except that Halle Berry's wearing almost nothing. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
DrMatt
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Post by DrMatt »

The trailers make it clear that the story is a reversal of Batman in which Catwoman is a woman wronged who is out for revenge. The trailers also make it clear that it's marketed at the 13-31 male market, with which it will probably do very well. Halle Barrie in a catsuit, with or without the mask, will draw crowds.
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Post by LostAngeles »

Nigel wrote:
Quester_X wrote:
Yeah.....but whattya think it'll do at the box office?
Hopefully not enough to warrent a sequal. I've always like the Batman characters, and this is down right terrible. :knock:
Agreed. Any idea what the story is even supposed to be?

Michelle Pfeiffer had a good turn as Catwoman in Batman Returns, and that had some semblance of a storyline (as relating to the character), but I don't know anything about this one except that Halle Berry's wearing almost nothing. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
As I understand it, Halle Berry is a sweet little graphic designer who finds out her boss and his wife are crooked and they toss her out a window for it. A bunch of cats come and do The Crow thang and give her kitty powers. (land on her feet, agility, finicky eater, spilling litter all over the floor, getting into places she really shouldn't, shedding, etc). She hooks up with Benjamin Bratt, puts on a dumb costume and battles Sharon Stone.

By the way, canonical Catwoman is like Batman in that she has no powers. She's an ordinary human doing extraordinary things.
DrMatt
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Post by DrMatt »

Quester_X wrote:
Yeah.....but whattya think it'll do at the box office?
Hopefully not enough to warrent a sequal. I've always like the Batman characters, and this is down right terrible. :knock:
I thought the trailer suggested it wasn't supposed to be the evil catwoman of the Batman comics at all. But then, the name Catwoman is already taken. :roll: A classics professor in college demonstrated the way in which folklore becomes canonized by pointing out that one day he started to tell his 5-year-old the tale of the four little pigs, but the kids adamantly insisted there were three pigs, and the tale was to be the usual tale with a wolf and a chinny-chin-chin, either that or nothing.

I think there's a psychological and neurological connection between this kind of behavior and woo-wooism. The realm of possible stories--and the realm of truth about the world--are both overwhelmingly vast and full of idiosyncratic details, so our brains are constructed to build up highly oversimplified models of the world and/or of the facts or cultural items needed to get along, and such hard-won simplifications can stand in the way of understanding when we encounter conflicting information. I think this is part of why some people are so fiercely committed to notions like "The USA is a Christian Nation", "Marriage is and has always been a partnership between one man and one woman", "There must be something to UFO reports because so many people keep giving them", "Some people have supernatural powers", etc.

But hey, that's just my opinion. I'm a musician, not a neurologist, psychologist, folkloricist, anthropologist, or film-studies expert.
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Post by Regnad Kcin »

Nigel wrote:(I hate the 'purr' pun whenever someone talks about a cat - it's 'purrfectly bad', or a dog bit is 'doggone funny'.....people who use that sort of thing will be first up against the wall when I become dictator.)
Agreed! Let me also add the use of variations on "You'll have a Dickens of a time!" in connection to productions related to a certain author, name of Charles.

As for Catwoman, the trailer made it look to be a piece of bloated, SFX-driven nonsense. And, what with Van Helsing, I've already suffered enough of that for one summer season, thanks!
Regnad Kcin
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Post by Regnad Kcin »

Well, http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/catwoman/ currently has 105 critiques linked, 11 of which give the movie a positive notice, and 94 negative. Average rating? 3.3 out of 10.

Think I'll go see Spidey 2 again!
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Post by LostAngeles »

DrMatt wrote:
I thought the trailer suggested it wasn't supposed to be the evil catwoman of the Batman comics at all. But then, the name Catwoman is already taken.
...
Hold on, where's my stupid-comic-book-geek/dumbass hat. Ah, here we are.

*adjust hat*

Catwoman wasn't always "evil". For a time she did in fact work and become involved with Batman most notable in this outfit

http://www.joeacevedo.com/images/figure ... enguin.jpg

Since then she's been more of an "anithero". She tends to work on the side of good, but her motives are questionable.

Also questionable is the current costume of this:
http://www.dcuguide.com/Who/images/Catw ... ostume.jpg

over this:

http://www.brianbolland.com/images/batman/catwoman.jpg

or this:

http://www.joeacevedo.com/images/custom ... comic1.jpg

So in short, she's a "bad girl", but she's a good bad girl.
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Post by Nyarlathotep »

One Review I read called it this summers answer to Gigli. My prediction is that that reviewer will be dead on.

It is a summer movie so it will fail to draw in the 'serious movie' crowd. Because they screwed up the character so much, comic book (and especially Batman) fans will avoid it in droves. As for everyone else, action/SFX extravaganzas are a dime a dozen this time of year, so it takes something special to make one stand out. This one lacks anything special that I can detect anyway, so I predict a flop of 'Battlefield Earth' proportions.

I know that I personally, am waiting for this one to hit HBO because I see nothing in it that would entice me to flop down my hard earned eight bucks to see it. Even Halle Berry in a slinky outfit isn't enough. I can see her in a bathing suit in Die Another Day and get a decent James Bond film in the bargain or I can go rent Monsters Ball and see her nekkid. Either way, I'd be better off than wasting two hours of my life and eight dollars of my money on this stinker.
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Post by Doctor X »

A bunch of cats come and do The Crow thang and give her kitty powers.
I just hate when that happens. . . .

--J.D.
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Post by Badger »

Any movie that includes a scrap between Halle Berry and Sharon Stone and still stinks on ice, well........
LostAngeles
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Post by LostAngeles »

Doctor X wrote:
A bunch of cats come and do The Crow thang and give her kitty powers.
I just hate when that happens. . . .

--J.D.
When cats bring you back to life with their abilities or when movies rip plot points from each other?
The Central Scrutinizer
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Post by The Central Scrutinizer »

LostAngeles wrote:As I understand it....and battles Sharon Stone.
If there is clothes ripping and hair tossing, I'm there!
DrMatt
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Post by DrMatt »

The Central Scrutinizer wrote:
LostAngeles wrote:As I understand it....and battles Sharon Stone.
If there is clothes ripping and hair tossing, I'm there!

See that was what I thought. Not in general, but on this thread I keep reading "SFX" as a typo, or as if somebody forgot to draw the bottom line on the letter E.
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Post by Nigel »

Well it doesn't look good. I read Catwoman opened this weekend with about $17m. (No link, read it on imdb/StudioBrief - links out there I'm sure). If that's official, I suspect a good dip by the end of this week, and the film will be a writeoff for the studio.
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Post by DrMatt »

I had something to say regarding the topic title for this thread, but I think I'll leave it for a racier forum.
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Post by whitefork »

What, cats who eat dental floss perhaps? It's disgusting on the other end.
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Post by DrMatt »

Doctor Mabuse wrote:What, cats who eat dental floss perhaps? It's disgusting on the other end.
The true story of the hanging of the tallith in the closet instead of in the drawer where it belonged... oy
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Post by Nigel »

DrMatt wrote:I had something to say regarding the topic title for this thread, but I think I'll leave it for a racier forum.
I actually hadn't thought of that until I read DrMatt's post. Such is the price one pays for the ability to edit thread titles. Which I certainly could again, but why? No doubt this thread has already stayed around longer than the movie played in some theaters. So we'll leave it this way for the dvd version.

Which reminds me. I saw a dvd version box of Catwoman on someone's desk at work. I was amazed they'd have released it so quickly, but thought it possible because the movie stunk. Then I realized I didn't see a rating on the box. Okay, it was the soundtrack. Nope, a guy I work with bought the bootleg from a guy on a streetcorner. My coworker really thought they'd released it on dvd already.

I don't work with the sharpest knives in the drawer.