Dear SC,

This is our lounge area. Feel free to come in and get acquainted!
Bruce
Posts: 20805
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:46 pm
Title: Bruce of all Bruces
Location: Massachusetts

Dear SC,

Post by Bruce »

Dear SC,

I have an attractive young co-worker who is in her early 20's. She has a tatoo printed in a region well below the belly button, far below what my generation would consider 'decent'. The reason why I know this is because she has a nervous habit. Whenever she becomes stressed, she nervously pushes the front of her pants down and rubs her tatoo, exposing supple young flesh and naughty curves. I'm pretty sure she does this unintentionally.

Today, she was buying her first house. She was so nervous that she pushed the front of her pants down far enough that I could see the entire tatoo. I had to lock my eyes onto hers as she explained her nervousness about buying her first house. It took all my will not to look down, or rather straight ahead, as her exposed flesh was two feet in front of me because I was sitting down and she was standing.

What should I do, SC? I feel like I should talk to her about her subconscious nervous habit, but I'm afraid, SC.

I'm afraid she'll stop doing it.

Dear god, she keeps herself well trimmed. :shock:

Help!

30-Something-Perv
CJacq
Posts: 706
Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2008 10:42 pm

Post by CJacq »

Bruce for fuck sake do not bring it to her attention, what the hell is the matter with you. And by the way she is doing it intentionally.
grayman
Posts: 5773
Joined: Sun Feb 11, 2007 3:43 am
Location: A little further north.

Post by grayman »

Pictures. We need evidence. Lots and lots of evidence.
Bruce
Posts: 20805
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:46 pm
Title: Bruce of all Bruces
Location: Massachusetts

Post by Bruce »

CJacq wrote:Bruce for fuck sake do not bring it to her attention, what the hell is the matter with you. And by the way she is doing it intentionally.
But that doesn't make sense.

1. I have no money.
2. She's hot. I'm not.
3. Shagging me will not improve her career or get her a raise.
4. She has a boyfriend and I'm married.
5. I have no sexually redeeming qualities.
6. She could have any man she wants.

Is she a nympho? Sick in the head?

Or worse.......








Could there be a penis below the tatoo! :o
Bruce
Posts: 20805
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:46 pm
Title: Bruce of all Bruces
Location: Massachusetts

Post by Bruce »

grayman wrote:Pictures. We need evidence. Lots and lots of evidence.
She might get a bit suspicious of my intentions if I whip out a camera and start snapping pictures of her belly. :|
sparks
Posts: 17688
Joined: Fri Oct 26, 2007 4:13 pm
Location: Friar McWallclocks Bar -- Where time stands still while you lean over!

Post by sparks »

We should all have your problems Bruce! :) And CJacq is right: She knows what she's doing. 8)

Good ed, to be 30 something again.
Cloverlief
Posts: 8501
Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:59 pm
Location: Here, there or somewhere

Post by Cloverlief »

Bruce,

Go home, get a babysitter, take you wife out for a nice dinner, a movie and do speak nicely to her, and then go home and get laid.

Sincerely,

Ann Landers' Ghost
gnome
Posts: 25993
Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2004 12:40 am
Location: New Port Richey, FL

Post by gnome »

Is she a close enough friend that you're worried this habit will have negative consequences for her? If you know her well enough that it matters, you could probably get away with, "Seriously, it's very distracting when you do that with your tattoo."

If it's not that serious... definitely no need to call attention to it. :D

And I agree it may be accidentally-on-purpose. Even if it's not focused on getting a response from you personally, it's probably on some level known to her that it gets people watching. Maybe that makes her feel good at times when she's nervous.

(BTW I hope "Dear SC" becomes a meme)
Bruce
Posts: 20805
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:46 pm
Title: Bruce of all Bruces
Location: Massachusetts

Post by Bruce »

Cloverlief wrote:Bruce,

Go home, get a babysitter, take you wife out for a nice dinner, a movie and do speak nicely to her, and then go home and get laid.

Sincerely,

Ann Landers' Ghost
Get a babysitter, take her home and get laid, speak nicely to her, and then take my wife out for a nice dinner.

Got it. Sounds like a good plan.

Thanks, SC!

30-Something-Perv
Bruce
Posts: 20805
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:46 pm
Title: Bruce of all Bruces
Location: Massachusetts

Post by Bruce »

sparks wrote:We should all have your problems Bruce! :) And CJacq is right: She knows what she's doing. 8)

Good ed, to be 30 something again.
Maybe it amuses her to watch me actively try to lock eyes with her and maintain a professional work-related conversation while she pulls her pants down and rubs her man-jam bullseye right in front of me.

I have to admit, that would make for a very amusing CollegeHumor video! :oops:
Bruce
Posts: 20805
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:46 pm
Title: Bruce of all Bruces
Location: Massachusetts

Post by Bruce »

As you can probably tell, SC, I have never been propositioned by a hot girl before. I have no way of telling if she is A) actively propositioning me, B) inadvertantly giving me a boner without realising it, or C) intentionally fucking with my head in a sexual way but ready to pounce with a restraining order if I "show her mine" so to speak.








I'm guessing C.














But just in case I'm wrong, should I get a tatoo and shave my pubes as well? Maybe work out a little? I saw the movie American Beauty and I don't want my life to end that way. :(
Pyrrho
Posts: 33583
Joined: Sat Jun 05, 2004 2:17 am
Title: Man in Black
Location: Division 6

Post by Pyrrho »

It's sexual harassment.

If a man tried that bullshit, he'd be branded a sexual pervert and would be thrown to the wolves.

Plus he'd be the subject of lurid headline stories on the local TV news.
Bruce
Posts: 20805
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:46 pm
Title: Bruce of all Bruces
Location: Massachusetts

Post by Bruce »

Pyrrho wrote:It's sexual harassment.

If a man tried that bullshit, he'd be branded a sexual pervert and would be thrown to the wolves.

Plus he'd be the subject of lurid headline stories on the local TV news.
Absolutely.

And when a girl does it, it becomes the subject of locker room fodder.

Women make me sick.

I think we should start some sort of movement to force women to start respecting men in the workplace.

I'll kick off this movement by burning my briefs.
Vic Daring
Posts: 3006
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 8:39 pm
Location: Anvilania

Post by Vic Daring »

Bruce wrote:As you can probably tell, SC, I have never been propositioned by a hot girl before.
If Mrs. Bruce sees that, Doctor X is gonna have your stereo.
LizardPeople
Posts: 1949
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2004 2:22 pm

Post by LizardPeople »

I'll be in my bunk.
Nyarlathotep
Posts: 49740
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 2:50 pm

Re: Dear SC,

Post by Nyarlathotep »

Bruce wrote:
30-Something-Perv
If it makes you feel any better, you're not a perv.

If you were having the same feelings looking at her pet chicken, THEN you'd be a perv
Bearguin
Posts: 8094
Joined: Sun Jun 06, 2004 12:26 am
Title: Thankless Bastard!
Location: Get off my fucking lawn

Post by Bearguin »

Dear SC

I'm a 40-something perv who works with either plain or just plain ugly women.

How can I get a job where Bruce works?
Tiosylanyl
Posts: 5008
Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 12:31 am
Title: The Three-eyed Raven
Location: Beyond the Wall

Post by Tiosylanyl »

Bearguin wrote:Dear SC

I'm a 40-something perv who works with either plain or just plain ugly women.

How can I get a job where Bruce works?
Dear 40-something perv,

Get a PhD in Chemistry.
gnome
Posts: 25993
Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2004 12:40 am
Location: New Port Richey, FL

Post by gnome »

Pyrrho wrote:It's sexual harassment.

If a man tried that bullshit, he'd be branded a sexual pervert and would be thrown to the wolves.

Plus he'd be the subject of lurid headline stories on the local TV news.
I spoke flippantly but Pyrrho has a point. I'll reinforce my comment that intervention may be appropriate if Bruce isn't exaggerating.
DrMatt
Posts: 29811
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2004 4:00 pm
Location: Location: Location!

Post by DrMatt »

You could make a friend (remember friends?) by pointing out in passing, in a very soft, private voice, "Hey, whatever you're doing with your hands could attract negative attention from management, don't do that at work, okay?"

You'd have to put up with her no longer doing it, but in the long run, having a friend is more valuable. By doing that, you'd be saving her ass, and she might return the favor some day (if she isn't an asshole. If she's an asshole, then never mind).
Bearguin
Posts: 8094
Joined: Sun Jun 06, 2004 12:26 am
Title: Thankless Bastard!
Location: Get off my fucking lawn

Post by Bearguin »

Mordread wrote:
Bearguin wrote:Dear SC

I'm a 40-something perv who works with either plain or just plain ugly women.

How can I get a job where Bruce works?
Dear 40-something perv,

Get a PhD in Chemistry.
Don't they have an admin department? They must need a corporate controller.
CC
Posts: 2169
Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 4:22 am
Location: Wind in my hair, shifting and drifting.

Post by CC »

Don't say a damned word to her about it, and keep your stare away from the fun place. Anything you tell her might be misconstrued and she might make trouble for you. Do I sound paranoid? Perhaps, but I prefer to think of it as erring on the side of caution. Just stick to business and mundane shit like "nice weather" and "did you see that episode on TV?".

I've seen a guy get reprimanded for merely paying a compliment to a young hottie in the workplace, something like "nice dress, it makes you look slimmer". The girl complained to a higher-up that she was being harassed.
The guy got in shit. Even though the comment was meant as an innocent compliment (as he claimed), it was perceived by the hottie as a come-on. The boss took her version over his. Perhaps not that he did believe her, but he didn't want that sort of thing going any further than his office. The guy got reprimanded and moved to another department.
Personally, I suspect if the guy was a twenty-something stud, that would have never happened. He was a bit older, in his late 30's.
Bruce
Posts: 20805
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:46 pm
Title: Bruce of all Bruces
Location: Massachusetts

Post by Bruce »

DrMatt wrote:You could make a friend (remember friends?) by pointing out in passing, in a very soft, private voice, "Hey, whatever you're doing with your hands could attract negative attention from management, don't do that at work, okay?"
My conscious tells me this would be the most appropriate course of action, and my conscious has kept me out of trouble more times than I can count, so this is likely what I'll be doing......next time.....or perhaps the time after that.....
You'd have to put up with her no longer doing it, but in the long run, having a friend is more valuable. By doing that, you'd be saving her ass, and she might return the favor some day (if she isn't an asshole. If she's an asshole, then never mind).
She's totally cool, and I would not want to ruin my life or hers by having sex with her.............(unless she really REALLY wants it from me, but I'm just fantisizing again)
Bruce
Posts: 20805
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:46 pm
Title: Bruce of all Bruces
Location: Massachusetts

Post by Bruce »

Vic Daring wrote:
Bruce wrote:As you can probably tell, SC, I have never been propositioned by a hot girl before.
If Mrs. Bruce sees that, Doctor X is gonna have your stereo.
Oh, Mrs. Bruce never propositioned me. She pretty much grabbed my sack and dragged me by it to the alter. I thought it was pretty cool at the time, having my sack touched by a woman and all. :D

That's my side of the story anyway.

Her side the story is that I was a pity fuck for her, and a pity marriage after that, and that's the way it's been ever since. She just doesn't have the heart to watch me fumble through life on my own. :roll:
Bruce
Posts: 20805
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:46 pm
Title: Bruce of all Bruces
Location: Massachusetts

Post by Bruce »

CC wrote:Don't say a damned word to her about it, and keep your stare away from the fun place. Anything you tell her might be misconstrued and she might make trouble for you. Do I sound paranoid? Perhaps, but I prefer to think of it as erring on the side of caution. Just stick to business and mundane shit like "nice weather" and "did you see that episode on TV?".
"Nice tatoo on the crotch we're having.......I mean.....did you seen that poon ink-patch on TV?........I mean.......Oh God, PLEASE don't file a sexual harassment report on me. I really need this job!!! :cry: "

I like the way Dr. Matt suggested it.

"Hey, whatever you're doing with your hands could attract negative attention from management, who are a bunch of horney, creepy, letcherous old men with grabby, caloused hands, so you might not want to do that at work, okay? What you do in the back seat of my car is your own business.

.......(DOH)!!!"
CC
Posts: 2169
Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 4:22 am
Location: Wind in my hair, shifting and drifting.

Post by CC »

Bruce wrote: "Nice tatoo on the crotch we're having.......I mean.....did you seen that poon ink-patch on TV?........I mean.......Oh God, PLEASE don't file a sexual harassment report on me. I really need this job!!! :cry: "
:D
I like the way Dr. Matt suggested it.
If you're sure no stink from it will come your way.... you telling her I mean.
Good luck.
Tiosylanyl
Posts: 5008
Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 12:31 am
Title: The Three-eyed Raven
Location: Beyond the Wall

Post by Tiosylanyl »

Bearguin wrote:
Mordread wrote:
Bearguin wrote:Dear SC

I'm a 40-something perv who works with either plain or just plain ugly women.

How can I get a job where Bruce works?
Dear 40-something perv,

Get a PhD in Chemistry.
Don't they have an admin department? They must need a corporate controller.
Sure. But you might look a bit suspicious passing by her desk every ten minutes when your department is on a different floor or the other side of the building.
Bruce
Posts: 20805
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:46 pm
Title: Bruce of all Bruces
Location: Massachusetts

Post by Bruce »

Mordread wrote:
Bearguin wrote:
Mordread wrote:
Bearguin wrote:Dear SC

I'm a 40-something perv who works with either plain or just plain ugly women.

How can I get a job where Bruce works?
Dear 40-something perv,

Get a PhD in Chemistry.
Don't they have an admin department? They must need a corporate controller.
Sure. But you might look a bit suspicious passing by her desk every ten minutes when your department is on a different floor or the other side of the building.
Cootch patrole.

I'd apply for that job.

Pardon me, ma'am, but corporate policy states only 10% allowable exposed cootch. I'm afraid I'm going to have to escourt you off the premises. I'll also have to take some picture and impound your pants for evidence.

Yeah. Cootch patrole. 8)
Bearguin
Posts: 8094
Joined: Sun Jun 06, 2004 12:26 am
Title: Thankless Bastard!
Location: Get off my fucking lawn

Post by Bearguin »

gnome wrote: (BTW I hope "Dear SC" becomes a meme)
[Puts on herding cats clothes]

Okay. Here's the rule. One question answered by one person who then asks a question of their own.

Bruce's situation has been asked and answered so let's move on.

And since I'm trying to do the herding, I'll ask something else.



It's Thanksgiving in Canada this weekend (Monday). As usual, my wife and I go to my parents place. Mom cooks the normal, dull turkey.

What can I do (besides simple asking to which she has already said No!) to get her to cook a Bacon Turducken this year?
Grammatron
Posts: 37656
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 1:21 am
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Post by Grammatron »

Go to HR and let them know, don't be an idiot and fall into this trap.
eli54
Posts: 1129
Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2005 3:12 pm
Location: SoCal

Post by eli54 »

Do Mom & Dad have HR?
Bruce
Posts: 20805
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:46 pm
Title: Bruce of all Bruces
Location: Massachusetts

Post by Bruce »

I believe asking a woman to fix Bacon Turducken is considered sexual harassment in Canada.
grayman
Posts: 5773
Joined: Sun Feb 11, 2007 3:43 am
Location: A little further north.

Post by grayman »

Bruce wrote:I believe asking a woman to fix Bacon Turducken is considered sexual harassment in Canada.
I'm waiting for MB to suggest a recipe for a nice honey/pear glaze with savory potatoes and for dessert an apple/cranberry cobbler topped with home-made ginger ice cream...


Damn. Just made myself hungry. Gotta go to the kitchen now.
Bruce
Posts: 20805
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:46 pm
Title: Bruce of all Bruces
Location: Massachusetts

Post by Bruce »

grayman wrote:
Bruce wrote:I believe asking a woman to fix Bacon Turducken is considered sexual harassment in Canada.
I'm waiting for MB to suggest a recipe for a nice honey/pear glaze with savory potatoes and for dessert an apple/cranberry cobbler topped with home-made ginger ice cream....
I'll be in my bunk...
manny
Posts: 1830
Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2005 4:41 pm
Location: New York

Post by manny »

grayman wrote: honey...pear...savory...apple...cranberry...ginger
That reminds me. Time to make up a recipe for a Christmas beer.
Bearguin
Posts: 8094
Joined: Sun Jun 06, 2004 12:26 am
Title: Thankless Bastard!
Location: Get off my fucking lawn

Post by Bearguin »

Well.

I tried.

:(
LizardPeople
Posts: 1949
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2004 2:22 pm

Post by LizardPeople »

Dear SC,

It's annual review time at work again. I sure miss the good old days when my review was written by people who liked me. Now I have to write it myself. Should I out myself as the lazy incompetent fool I actually am, or should I present myself as the hard-working whizkid I have tricked everyone else into believing I am? Please weigh the possibility of future wage increases against the foul, dark stains that shall surely appear upon my soul.

Thanks in advance.
MLynn
Posts: 3770
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 2:09 am
Location: USA

Post by MLynn »

corplinx wrote:It itches because she has crabs. That'll drain some blood from your weiner.
:lol:

Really, though I would think she does this in front of others not just you. OR is it just you? And, I've never heard of this type of nervous habit before - has anyone else?
robinson
Posts: 19933
Joined: Sat Aug 12, 2006 2:01 am
Title: Je suis devenu Français
Location: USA

Post by robinson »

Bruce, maybe you aren't used to the fashions of the day?
http://jeanshook.com/wp-content/uploads ... 5keira.jpg

And the new rule, if you shave it, you can show right up to it.
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/86/23371 ... e98d_m.jpg

I mean, unless you seeing clam, what's the big deal?
http://www.myddnetwork.com/clothing-sho ... y-type.jpg

You might want to check with the other male co-workers, see if it isn't just you
http://www.truejeans.com/img/Image/img641.jpg
Bruce
Posts: 20805
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:46 pm
Title: Bruce of all Bruces
Location: Massachusetts

Post by Bruce »

http://www.myddnetwork.com/clothing-sho ... y-type.jpg

This one looks almost exactly like her!!

This would be her usual pants level.

At this level, the top part of the tatoo is barely visible.

Yesterday, when she was about ready to sign on the house, I saw the whole tatoo, and I was amazed that I wasn't seeing clam. In fact, I didn't even realize there was so much space between the belly button and the clam! :shock: