A Home For Bruce

grayman · Post by **grayman** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:29 pm

GSA is offering lighthouses for sale, some for free.

For sale: Historic waterfront property with a spectacular, 50-foot-high view of Lake Michigan. Featuring solid, century-old cast-iron construction, painted distinctive red. Comes with its own Fresnel lens for signaling ships...

...As of Sunday afternoon, after several bids early Saturday, the Kenosha lighthouse price was at $13,000, while the one at Conneaut Harbor had received one bid for $5,000.

Imagine having one located on its own island with yourself the sole occupant.

Here's one that's not for sale. Just posting it 'cause it's in Nebraska:

http://www.nebraskatravels.com/image-fi ... 035cet.jpg

Bruce · Post by **Bruce** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 7:46 pm

Organizations interested in acquiring one of the lighthouses need to submit a letter expressing interest in the property and complete a rigorous application process.

This tells me that the GSA wants to make absolutely certain that you have a huge boner for lighthouses and intend to take good care of these important historical monuments, but......in the next sentence.......

If no suitable steward is identified, the lighthouses will be auctioned to the general public.

In otherwords, if no one comes forward with a boner for lighthouses, they go to the highest bidder, or fuck, you can just have it for free.

One day, just to get out of house for a while, I took the historial lighthouse tour in NewPort bay. It's basically a Ferry that takes you near each of the 30 historical lighthouses (or remnants thereof) in the bay. Most are faithfully maintained. Some have been converted to personal houses and barely resemble their former lighthousiness.

One lighthouse is nothing more than a rock with some bits of rubble and metal about a mile off the coast. It was completely destroyed by a giant wave in the early 1900's. It's sole occupant was in the lighthouse at the time and died.

So yeah. Living on an island by myself in a cozy little lighthouse sounds spiffy, until a nice wave comes along. I'm a lousy swimmer and I dislike drowning.

The lighthouse in Nebraska looks nice, but there are people in Nebraska. :(

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 8:27 pm

But think of the fun you could have misdirecting ships and boats, or shining a bright light into the windows of neighbors that annoy you!

Bruce · Post by **Bruce** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 9:23 pm

Lighthouse gummies are awesome.

http://i363.photobucket.com/albums/oo77 ... houses.jpg

......what? :|

Cool Hand · Post by **Cool Hand** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:36 pm

gnome wrote:But think of the fun you could have misdirecting ships and boats, or shining a bright light into the windows of neighbors that annoy you!

Especially all those huge ships in Nebraska!

CH

En folkefiende · Post by **En folkefiende** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 12:38 am

Cool Hand wrote:
gnome wrote:But think of the fun you could have misdirecting ships and boats, or shining a bright light into the windows of neighbors that annoy you!
Especially all those huge ships in Nebraska!

CH

The ones next to Carhenge, you mean?

http://www.carhenge.com/

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 11:33 am

Bruce wrote:Lighthouse gummies are awesome.

http://i363.photobucket.com/albums/oo77 ... houses.jpg

......what? :|

I'm certainly in awe. :weirdeyes:

Bruce · Post by **Bruce** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 5:36 pm

I have considered Spitsbergen, though it's a bit crowded for my taste, and I don't speak Nordic:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spitsbergen

It holds the Svalbard Global Seed Vault which just opened up three years ago. If there is ever a global disaster, such as spontaneous combustion of Global Warming believers, then the scattered remnants of humanity will want to head for Svalbard.

I'm considering a donation of Corn Nut seeds, just in case.

No lighthouses on Svalbard that I'm aware of. :(

Bruce · Post by **Bruce** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 5:50 pm

http://agro.biodiver.se/wp-content/uplo ... cf5169.JPG

It's like they have everything BUT Corn Nut seeds. :x

Bruce · Post by **Bruce** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:38 pm

http://mw2.google.com/mw-panoramio/phot ... 326371.jpg

Seems like a nice school to put my kids in. According to this website, there are currently 6 students enrolled, ages 5 to 12. Perfect!

http://www.panoramio.com/photo/326371?s ... google.com

It's a nice little out-of-the way place called Pitcairn.

I wonder what kind of Wi-Fi they get out there? :)

Bruce · Post by **Bruce** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:56 pm

Then there's Tristan da Cunha
http://www.panoramio.com/photo/1723487? ... google.com

Nice place, except that Christians live there.
http://www.panoramio.com/photo/51306405 ... google.com

Therefore, I would probably be that weird guy who lives way over there on the South side of the island, just down the road.

Aw, damn. They already have one of those. :x
http://www.panoramio.com/photo/51306258 ... google.com

Bruce · Post by **Bruce** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 11:54 am

My only fear about moving to an un-inhabited remote island is that Rob Lister may one day drop a barrel of nuclear waste on my house. :(

Nyarlathotep · Post by **Nyarlathotep** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 2:19 pm

This thread is disappointing, I thought it was a discussion of putting Bruce into a home.

grayman · Post by **grayman** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:02 pm

Nyarlathotep wrote:This thread is disappointing, I thought it was a discussion of putting Bruce into a home.

Give it time.

Cool Hand · Post by **Cool Hand** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 12:01 am

Bruce wrote:http://mw2.google.com/mw-panoramio/phot ... 326371.jpg

Seems like a nice school to put my kids in. According to this website, there are currently 6 students enrolled, ages 5 to 12. Perfect!

http://www.panoramio.com/photo/326371?s ... google.com

It's a nice little out-of-the way place called Pitcairn.

I wonder what kind of Wi-Fi they get out there? :)

You do realize that Christians live on Pitcairn too, right?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fletcher_Christian

CH

Bruce · Post by **Bruce** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 1:35 am

Cool Hand wrote:
Bruce wrote:http://mw2.google.com/mw-panoramio/phot ... 326371.jpg

Seems like a nice school to put my kids in. According to this website, there are currently 6 students enrolled, ages 5 to 12. Perfect!

http://www.panoramio.com/photo/326371?s ... google.com

It's a nice little out-of-the way place called Pitcairn.

I wonder what kind of Wi-Fi they get out there? :)
You do realize that Christians live on Pitcairn too, right?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fletcher_Christian

CH

How did Christians manage to ruin every remote corner of the planet. :poutpout:

Bruce · Post by **Bruce** » Wed Jul 27, 2011 6:13 pm

For the record, I have no plans to move to Utoeya island, or any other island near Norway for that matter. :(

Anyone know of any remote islands that haven't been soiled with the blood of Christians, Muslims, or victims thereof?

Bearguin · Post by **Bearguin** » Wed Jul 27, 2011 6:26 pm

Pretty sure there are some islands off Vancouver island that haven't been.

They've been overrun by the greenies, hippys, and other left wing wackos.

DrMatt · Post by **DrMatt** » Wed Jul 27, 2011 6:50 pm

Bruce wrote:http://mw2.google.com/mw-panoramio/phot ... 326371.jpg

Seems like a nice school to put my kids in. According to this website, there are currently 6 students enrolled, ages 5 to 12. Perfect!

http://www.panoramio.com/photo/326371?s ... google.com

It's a nice little out-of-the way place called Pitcairn.

I wonder what kind of Wi-Fi they get out there? :)

Looks like it's ready to slide down the hill.

Cool Hand · Post by **Cool Hand** » Wed Jul 27, 2011 11:25 pm

DrMatt wrote:
Bruce wrote:http://mw2.google.com/mw-panoramio/phot ... 326371.jpg

Seems like a nice school to put my kids in. According to this website, there are currently 6 students enrolled, ages 5 to 12. Perfect!

http://www.panoramio.com/photo/326371?s ... google.com

It's a nice little out-of-the way place called Pitcairn.

I wonder what kind of Wi-Fi they get out there? :)
Looks like it's ready to slide down the hill.

Oh no, not the slippery slope argument.

:roll:

CH

grayman · Post by **grayman** » Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:25 am

Not an island, but for less than $800,000, you can buy the entire town of Scenic, South Dakota located east of the Black Hills and just norh of the Badlands.

Nyarlathotep · Post by **Nyarlathotep** » Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:37 am

Bruce wrote:For the record, I have no plans to move to Utoeya island, or any other island near Norway for that matter. :(

Anyone know of any remote islands that haven't been soiled with the blood of Christians, Muslims, or victims thereof?

An unihabited island with restricted access in a lake in the middle of the desert, where no one expects an island to be. What more could you ask? Not scenic in the least, but fits your criteria anyway.

Bruce · Post by **Bruce** » Thu Jul 28, 2011 10:56 am

Nyarlathotep wrote:An unihabited island with restricted access in a lake in the middle of the desert, where no one expects an island to be. What more could you ask? Not scenic in the least, but fits your criteria anyway.

Thanks.

You have no idea how hard it is to find a good location for a diabolical evil secret lair. They don't just build themselves you know.

The island is home to the Anaho Island National Wildlife Refuge, which protects a colony of American White Pelicans, one of the two largest pelican colonies in the western United States. It is uninhabited by humans.
Access to the island is highly restricted—no boats are allowed within 500 feet (150 m) of the shores. Anaho Island is a little more than a mile long from north to south and also from east to west at its widest point, and covers 634.43 acres (2.567 km²).

Seems easy enough to conquer....just take out some hostile birds and some animal loving hippies. No boats allowed within 500 feet, and yet it's not inhabited by humans. What a joke. I'll bet they don't even have armed security guards or cameras. Animal loving hippies have some nerve.

The hard part will be building the fortress itself. Anyone know a good contractor who can build a secret diabolical evil lair in the Nevada area? Preferrably one that can build such lair without drawing attention to the blasting or heavy construction equipment?

Cool Hand · Post by **Cool Hand** » Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:47 pm

Bruce wrote:
Seems easy enough to conquer....just take out some hostile birds...

No, no, no. Just think of how you could harness those birds to do your bidding. I mean, they're pelicans. Explosive laden Pelicans of Death! Think of the capacity of those huge mouths and throats (and bellies) to carry Semtex and C-4 and remote controlled detonation caps. They will naturally defend your highly-defensible enclave of an island from any intruders. Keep 'em.

I like the impenetrable nature of that island. It's perfect for a lair of evil and world domination. You just need to build a Laser of Doom and a Device to Block Out the Sun.

CH

grayman · Post by **grayman** » Sun Oct 23, 2011 4:22 pm

How about an evil lair on the shores of Lake Erie? They'd never expect that.

http://l.yimg.com/a/i/us/re/gr2/zbrownaerial_v2.jpg

Eccentric Home on the Shores of Lake Erie

DrMatt · Post by **DrMatt** » Sun Oct 23, 2011 7:18 pm

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kwzi5 ... o1_500.jpg

http://www.dsphotographic.com/g2/15506- ... +-+001.jpg

Watch out for roving weather balloons.

Bruce · Post by **Bruce** » Sun Oct 23, 2011 9:21 pm

No and no.

I'm going for paranoid evil hermit, not eccentric billionaire.

Don't confuse the two. :wink:

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:07 am

That isn't an evil lair, too enviro-weenie.

Captain Ecology lives there.

I kind of like it.

Bruce · Post by **Bruce** » Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:58 am

gnome wrote:That isn't an evil lair, too enviro-weenie.

Agreed.

Needs more fire and brimstone.

It not an evil lair if there's no fountain of lava.

DrMatt · Post by **DrMatt** » Mon Oct 24, 2011 2:00 am

Bruce wrote:No and no.

I'm going for paranoid evil hermit, not eccentric billionaire.

Don't confuse the two. :wink:

I'm not confusing the 2, No.6.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Mon Oct 24, 2011 9:21 am

Bruce wouldn't be able to get his big, fat ass through a lighthouse door, let alone walk up the stairs!

grayman · Post by **grayman** » Sun Nov 27, 2011 12:04 am

Has potential to be an evil genius's lair: The Home at the Top of a Volcano

http://l.yimg.com/cv/ip/re/gr2/curbvolc_ext1_v2.jpg

Bruce · Post by **Bruce** » Sun Nov 27, 2011 1:10 am

grayman wrote:Has potential to be an evil genius's lair: The Home at the Top of a Volcano

http://l.yimg.com/cv/ip/re/gr2/curbvolc_ext1_v2.jpg

Howser listed the property in September 2009, at which point Curbed LA described it as a "secret hideout where you watch your dastardly plans unfold on flat screens and cackle at your minions."

Still lingering on the market for its initial ask of $750K, the two-bedroom, two-bathroom main house features a dome formed from concrete and bent-fir beams and grounded by glass walls; inside, a conversation pit keeps things centered around a fireplace.

Pthff.

Doesn't even have a working nuclear reactor. :roll:

DrMatt · Post by **DrMatt** » Sun Nov 27, 2011 2:43 am

Who needs a nuc when you can power your everything on volcano-heated steam?

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Sun Nov 27, 2011 4:46 pm

A little fixer-upper off the beaten path in Alaska. I think it's down by a river.

Home, sweet home.

Vorticity · Post by **Vorticity** » Mon Nov 28, 2011 5:33 pm

grayman wrote:Has potential to be an evil genius's lair: The Home at the Top of a Volcano

http://l.yimg.com/cv/ip/re/gr2/curbvolc_ext1_v2.jpg

There's also a one-bedroom guest house, a lake, 60 acres of untarnished land, a three-car carport, a rooftop observation deck on top of that dome (360-degree views of the desert, anyone?) and, of course, the best part: brokerbabble that references a "stark, strong almost lunar landscape."

Amateur astronomers, take note.

pillory · Post by **pillory** » Mon Nov 28, 2011 5:57 pm

http://fi.gosupermodel.com/shopping/mag ... gid=163992

En folkefiende · Post by **En folkefiende** » Tue Nov 29, 2011 12:32 am

Here y'go, Bruce, you can hide and stay in the same house.

http://i238.photobucket.com/albums/ff22 ... dor7ls.jpg

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Tue Nov 29, 2011 1:06 am

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -home.html

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 10:53 pm

http://www.flickr.com/photos/68335294@N03/