The NFL "Sorry to Make You Cry" Challenge IX

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sun Sep 01, 2013 9:56 pm

From The Office of the Two Time Grand Champion

"The merciful and compassionate!"

And this is how I began last year quoting how we began the previous year . . . quoting how we began the previous year . . . quoting how we began the previous year quoting how we began the previous year . . . quoting the previous year:

There is that scent in the air . . . the scent of Dolphin failure! The scent of Chicago not having a quarterback! The scent of San Diego fans still not over last year!

Has anything really changed?

Chicago still does not have a quarterback, San Diego fans are still upset, the Dolphins still suck, Buffalo--not content with having a losing season, decided to pay millions to have Team Obliterator finish the job so they can move the team to Saskatchewan.

Chicago still does not have a quarterback, San Diego is crying, the Dolphins suck, and Buffalo--not content with a losing season--decided not to have a quarterback. Rumors the Fenway Ball-Girl is playing:

http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1250632/girlface.gif

Which is . . . an improvement . . . for Buffalo.

There is a scent in the air. . . .

Ramathorn: What's that smell Rabbit?

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b183/ ... ler_07.jpg

Rabbit: FEAR!

In other words, recovering from spending the evening celebrating the fact know one knows who Bobby Valentine is nor cares, I realized "Holy shit! The season is starting!!"

No, seriously, it is starting!

AND WHAT A SEASON IT IS SHAPING UP TO BECOME! {Ni!} [Shhh!--Ed.]

YES the NFC still sucks, but there are improvements! In fact, just about ANYONE can make the playoffs. Even those cities where people forget they have a team like Seattle and San Francisco.
Okay, maybe not Seattle, but definitely San Francisco provided they can hold on to the ball at least . . . once?

Well, they did. SF nearly beat Team Satan. The Seamen are no longer laughing stocks--though we can still laugh at Pete "NCAA Investigation? I'M SO PUMPED!" Carrol.

The rules as they were with some additions. Without further ado:

T3h Rulz:

"Same idea as last year. Pick a team each week, if that team loses you then own that team and get one point for each regular season win that team gets."

ALL games count: Thursday, Sunday, Day-Night Double-Header to make up for a rain out. . . . I follow the NFL Schedule. So start picking NOW!

You can pick and change up to the time of kickoff.

Bonus Points:

Win a Division: 4 points
Wild Card: 2 points
Win in First Round of playoffs : 3 point
Win in Divisional Round: 5 points
Win Conference Championship: 7 points
Win Superbowl: 15 points

Supersorrytomakeyoucrybubblebonus: The team that finishes one place out of a playoff spot pays a 2.5 point bonus.
This will be based on the semi-official NFL standings.

ExtraEvidencesDr.XMeaniebonus: Beating the Patriots pays 1 points.

DoNotJudgeOthersbyYourStandardsCHARLEY_BIGTIMEbonus: Beating Pittsburgh pays 1 points.

Doctor X is a MEANIE Point: Your Humble and Magnificent Messiah [PBUH--Ed.] gets 1 points if you pick the Patriots to lose and they win.

Dipshit Bonus: 6 point bonus if you own all teams playing in a playoff round (and thus cannot pick a team)--unLESS:

RadrickGamblingBonus: if eligible for the Dipshit Bonus, you can still choose to pick a loser. If the team loses 10 points. If they win, you get . . . nothing! And you will like it!

Playoffs: "Playoffs? Playoffs?!"

If you pick a team to lose IN the playoffs, you get only the season wins and any previous post season wins. No play-off bonuses.

Sorry, no "meanie points" if you did not have the team. I returned the various MeaniePoints to 1 since review of the scores last year shows they would not have materially affected the standings. I also decided not to go with the extra points for firing a coach and general manager, moving a team to Canada, et cetera. I will consider it next year.

I am ethically and spiritually barred from choosing NE since I would be guaranteeing myself my own "MEANIE point." If the situation arises where there is no team I can pick, I default to either the Dipshit Bonus or the RadrickGamblingBonus. Since it is less than the points I would get if I picked NE fuck you, I do not think that would be a problem.

SUGGESTIONS will be entertained.

DO SIGN UP: since the "grid" feature does not exist it takes me a bit to make them. Helps if I know whether or not someone is "in" or "out." Might as well stay "in." It is fun . . . and that is not a request . . . it is an order, actually.

http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264 ... 344142.jpg

My Guess is . . . After That . . . You'll Never Hear of Mordread Thiosomethingorotherfinated Again!

--J. "Ni!" [Shhh!--Ed.] D.

P.S. http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264 ... atflag.gif

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Sun Sep 01, 2013 10:23 pm

I'm in it to win it.

Tiosylanyl · Post by **Tiosylanyl** » Sun Sep 01, 2013 11:14 pm

grayman · Post by **grayman** » Sun Sep 01, 2013 11:35 pm

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sun Sep 01, 2013 11:53 pm

Tiosylanyl wrote:Ni!

Shhh!

--J.D.

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Mon Sep 02, 2013 1:19 am

Double post...

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Mon Sep 02, 2013 1:23 am

I'd like a little peril! Count me in.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Mon Sep 02, 2013 1:33 am

No . . . it's unhealthy.

--J.D.

jacks · Post by **jacks** » Mon Sep 02, 2013 2:53 pm

See you on the battlefield.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Mon Sep 02, 2013 9:10 pm

:Waaaah:Current Week 1 Pickies:

NFL Schedule

--J.D.

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Mon Sep 02, 2013 9:16 pm

:eager:

grayman · Post by **grayman** » Mon Sep 02, 2013 10:54 pm

Failed Cons to lose.

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Tue Sep 03, 2013 12:42 am

Crows to arrrrrgggggggh

izittrue · Post by **izittrue** » Tue Sep 03, 2013 6:36 pm

It iz time so yes make room for me at the inn.
Well you know what I mean. Pick coming soon.

Grammatron · Post by **Grammatron** » Tue Sep 03, 2013 6:50 pm

Ravens to od at the rave.

Evolver · Post by **Evolver** » Tue Sep 03, 2013 8:12 pm

The Ball'emmore Ravings to lose to your mom, if your mom happens to be Peyton (I never met a product I wouldn't shill) Manning.

izittrue · Post by **izittrue** » Tue Sep 03, 2013 10:01 pm

Packers to lose. Week one.

jacks · Post by **jacks** » Tue Sep 03, 2013 10:27 pm

giants to lose.

bcurnutte · Post by **bcurnutte** » Wed Sep 04, 2013 12:12 am

please include me in game

bcurnutte · Post by **bcurnutte** » Wed Sep 04, 2013 12:18 am

titan to lose

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Wed Sep 04, 2013 12:26 am

I seem to do well with San Diego, so Chiggers to lose.

Tiosylanyl · Post by **Tiosylanyl** » Thu Sep 05, 2013 10:57 pm

Packers.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Thu Sep 05, 2013 11:19 pm

I am really having a sense Denver will lose. Perhaps the media is bandwagoning Peyton-Wes.

--J.D.

P.S. http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264 ... dc1e9e.gif

P.P.S. Welker proving His Billness correct.

P.P.P.S. The RS cough up a 37 run lead against the MFY--listening on internets radio--two outs bottom of the 9th. Mariano blows the save. Change channel to watch yet another gut-wrenching finish.

Turn back . . . 17-35 Denver. I am not watching any more! http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264 ... a6af76.gif

Tiosylanyl · Post by **Tiosylanyl** » Fri Sep 06, 2013 4:16 am

Freaking idiot...

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Fri Sep 06, 2013 9:55 am

:bricks: Week 2 Standings:

0 Doctor X Bal (0)

0 Pyrrho Bal (0)
0 Grammaton Bal (0)
0 Evolver Bal (0)
0 grayman Atl (0)
0 Tiosylanyl GB (0)
0 Enchantress GB (0)
0 Radrick GB (0)
0 izittrue GB (0)
0 swellman NYG (0)
0 gnome SD (0)
*

0 bcurnutte
0 Wildcat
0 Anaxagoras

As always, check my math . . . yes, you may use your fingers. . . .

http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264 ... d17b2.jpeg

Doctor X spake: "Well We All are . . We are All Sorry to Make You Cry! And I Am Your King!

--J. "Listen! Strange Posters Lurking in Fora Distributing Points is No Basis for a System of Government!" D.

* 0 jacks NYG (0)

jacks · Post by **jacks** » Fri Sep 06, 2013 10:33 am

Where the fuck is WildCat?

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Fri Sep 06, 2013 10:37 am

I do not know. I was going to call out Former Grand Supreme Champion swellman as well but I understand he often has periods where he cannot post.

The "grid" is just something I put in a text file for convenience. I can add anyone at any time. That someone is not currently "In the Grid" does not mean anything.

Only one person is "Bannindated"--Mildred--for trolling and claiming the NFL is "fixed." Waste of time. If the Fuckwit Twins wanted to play honestly I would let them play.

I mean, we let Thiosulfonylatedmethylatedgroupuracil play. We are not dealing with aristocracy here.

Only I can be . . . magNIfIcent.

--J.D.

Tiosylanyl · Post by **Tiosylanyl** » Fri Sep 06, 2013 11:26 am

Doctor X wrote: Thiosulfonylatedmethylatedgroupuracil

http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264 ... /brood.gif

ETA:

http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j191/ ... 9aacf7.jpg

jacks · Post by **jacks** » Fri Sep 06, 2013 4:17 pm

Swellman...

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Sat Sep 07, 2013 3:26 pm

Hi. I'll try to do this this year.

I'll pick the Niners to lose, just to be different.

swellman · Post by **swellman** » Sun Sep 08, 2013 1:47 am

Fee fi fo fum...

Giants to lose.

I picked the Broncos to win in an office survivor pool, but caved on picking the same game here. Seemed risky. :doh:

Tiosylanyl · Post by **Tiosylanyl** » Sun Sep 08, 2013 9:14 pm

Change your shorts Doc.

WildCat · Post by **WildCat** » Mon Sep 09, 2013 1:15 am

Oh fuck, I forgot about this.

Eagles to lose.

Tiosylanyl · Post by **Tiosylanyl** » Mon Sep 09, 2013 1:31 am

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Tue Sep 10, 2013 12:20 am

Week 2: Jets to get stopped short on the runway.

WildCat · Post by **WildCat** » Tue Sep 10, 2013 1:25 am

Wow, someone forgot to tell the Redskins the season has started.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Tue Sep 10, 2013 5:29 am

One of these two idiot teams will win despite their best efforts to the contrary.

--J.D.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Tue Sep 10, 2013 5:54 am

http://www.refinedguy.com/wp-content/up ... 48925.jpeg

--J.D.

jacks · Post by **jacks** » Tue Sep 10, 2013 7:25 am

Still in the game Doc, NYG (0). Question is will the giants ever win a game? Even if they don't I'm still in the game.

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Tue Sep 10, 2013 1:52 pm

Broncos to get busted.