The NFL "Sorry to Make You Cry" Challenge X

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Fri Aug 29, 2014 2:18 am

A decade . . . of dominance!!

From The Office of the Two Time Grand Champion

"The merciful and compassionate!"

And this is how I began last year quoting how we began the previous year . . . quoting how we began the previous year . . . quoting how we began the previous year quoting how we began the previous year . . . quoting the previous year . . . quoting the previous year:

There is that scent in the air . . . the scent of Dolphin failure! The scent of Chicago not having a quarterback! The scent of San Diego fans still not over last year!

Has anything really changed?

There is a scent in the air. . . .

Ramathorn: What's that smell Rabbit?

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b183/ ... ler_07.jpg

Rabbit: FEAR!

In other words, whilst spending the day realizing that no one cares about Kansas City, Oakland, or certainly the Mariners, I realized when I received an e-mail from a new player: "Holy shit! The season is starting!!"

AND WHAT A SEASON IT IS SHAPING UP TO BECOME! {Ni!} [Shhh!--Ed.]

Recall last year:

The Seamen are no longer laughing stocks--though we can still laugh at Pete "NCAA Investigation? I'M SO PUMPED!" Carrol.

The rules as they were with some additions. Without further ado:

T3h Rulz:

Rule the First: "Same idea as last year. Pick a team each week, if that team loses you then own that team and get one point for each regular season win that team gets."

ALL games count: Thursday, Sunday, Day-Night Double-Header to make up for a rain out. . . . I follow the NFL Schedule. So start picking NOW!

Rule the Second: You can pick and change up to the time of kickoff.

Rule the Third: "Mulligan!!" During the regular season, each player has one "Mulligan." Those with one will have an "*" next to their name in the Grid of Despair. That means you get one chance to pick a second game if your first game FAILS. You declare it . . . you used it whatever the outcome of the first game is. So say you pick Denver to lose to NE and Denver has a 21 point lead at the 2 minute warning of the 4th quarter. In a panic you declare the Mulligan and pick the Jags to lose to . . . well . . . anyone.

NE SCORES 37 ["37?"--Ed.] points in the final 2 minutes! http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264 ... a1593d.gif

You do not get your original pick of Denver. http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264 ... 9d8ee1.gif

By some miracle, the Jags beat Whatever Team They Should be Losing To http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264 ... fc871a.gif

You have used your Mulligan. You are done.

For those who are "away"--as I will be periodically--one may post or PM. The second pick must be before the kick-off of that game. So, yes, you can fail on Sunday and pick a later game, even Monday Night Football. So in the above case you can post "Imma picking Denver to lose but if that FAIL, I am picking the Jags to lose!"

You have used your "Mulligan."

Bonus Points:

Win a Division: 4 points
Wild Card: 2 points
Win in First Round of playoffs : 3 point
Win in Divisional Round: 5 points
Win Conference Championship: 7 points
Win Superbowl: 15 points

Supersorrytomakeyoucrybubblebonus: The team that finishes one place out of a playoff spot pays a 2.5 point bonus.
This will be based on the semi-official NFL standings.

ExtraEvidencesDr.XMeaniebonus: Beating the Patriots pays 1 point.

DoNotJudgeOthersbyYourStandardsCHARLEY_BIGTIMEbonus: Beating Pittsburgh pays 1 point.

Doctor X is a MEANIE Point: Your Humble and Magnificent Messiah [PBUH--Ed.] gets 1 points if you pick the Patriots to lose and they win.

Dipshit Bonus: 6 point bonus if you own all teams playing in a playoff round (and thus cannot pick a team)--unLESS:

RadrickGamblingBonus: if eligible for the Dipshit Bonus, you can still choose to pick a loser. If the team loses 10 points. If they win, you get . . . nothing! And you will like it!

In the Rain Bonus: If you have a team that fires a coach before and including Week 9, you get 10 points. If you have a team whose coach is fired before Brack Fliday, you get 5 points. After Brack Fliday you get 2 points:

1. Rained on by Week 9: 10 points.
2. Rained on before Brack Fliday: 5 points
3. Rained on on or after Brack Fliday: 2 points

Super Bowl is the cut-off.

Playoffs: "Playoffs? Playoffs?!"

If you pick a team to lose IN the playoffs, you get only the season wins and any previous post season wins. No play-off bonuses.

I am ethically and spiritually barred from choosing NE since I would be guaranteeing myself my own "MEANIE point." If the situation arises where there is no team I can pick, I default to either the Dipshit Bonus or the RadrickGamblingBonus. Since it is less than the points I would get if I picked NE, I do not think that would be a problem.

SUGGESTIONS will be entertained.

DO SIGN UP: Helps if I know whether or not someone is "in" or "out." Might as well stay "in." It is fun . . . and that is not a request . . . it is an order, actually.

http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264 ... 344142.jpg

My Guess is . . . if Wildcat Does Not Choose a Theme Movie . . . You'll be Stuck with Scenes From Obscure Yandere Anime!

http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264 ... 66524c.jpg

http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264 ... 16ac1a.gif

--J. "Ni!" [Shhh!--Ed.] D.

P.S. http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264 ... atflag.gif
P.P.S.

His Humble MagNIfIcence
jonJ703
Pyrrho
gnome
Grammatron
shemp
radrick
Enchantress
Tiosylanyl
Anaxagoras
izittrue
jacks

shemp · Post by **shemp** » Fri Aug 29, 2014 3:13 am

I'm good at picking losers (unintentionally) so I'm in.

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Fri Aug 29, 2014 3:17 am

If it's good enough for shemp it's good enough for me.

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Fri Aug 29, 2014 3:22 am

Green Bay to lose...when the season actually starts...

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Fri Aug 29, 2014 3:24 am

I'm in! Please remember to refer to me as the one time week 6 champion and master strategist gnome, if that will fit in the box.

shemp · Post by **shemp** » Fri Aug 29, 2014 4:12 am

Pyrrho wrote:Green Bay to lose...when the season actually starts...

Hey that's my pick! Put me down for the FudgePackers to lose.

jacks · Post by **jacks** » Fri Aug 29, 2014 10:46 am

izittrue · Post by **izittrue** » Fri Aug 29, 2014 1:06 pm

I'm here to defend my title.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sat Aug 30, 2014 4:21 am

:Waaaah:Current Week 1 Pickies:

NFL Schedule

* I still haz Mulligan!

--J.D.

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Mon Sep 01, 2014 6:32 am

The Indianapolis Ponies to lose to the Denver Ponies.
:POMG:

jacks · Post by **jacks** » Mon Sep 01, 2014 9:50 pm

giants to lose

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Mon Sep 01, 2014 10:01 pm

Packers to get Packed.

Evolver · Post by **Evolver** » Tue Sep 02, 2014 11:23 am

Aaron Rogers and the Puckers to get discount dawwwwblechecked.

Grammatron · Post by **Grammatron** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 6:21 am

Eh, it seems like a good choice, Packers to lose.

shemp · Post by **shemp** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 1:59 pm

shemp wrote:
Pyrrho wrote:Green Bay to lose...when the season actually starts...
Hey that's my pick! Put me down for the FudgePackers to lose.

Discount double check! Still picking Pack to get whacked!

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 4:19 pm

Will not be at the Grid until later tonight so declaring my pick that the Fudge Packer's get their fudge, well, "packed."

I do not have a good feeling about it, but I expect the refs to disallow a TD for the Fudge Packers.

--J.D.

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 10:33 pm

Dolts to lose!

bcurnutte · Post by **bcurnutte** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 10:42 pm

SING ME BACK IN AND THE PACKERS TO LOSE

Tiosylanyl · Post by **Tiosylanyl** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 10:43 pm

Green Bay

WildCat · Post by **WildCat** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 12:06 am

Let's get the Pack out of the way right away.

Green Bay going down tonight.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 12:24 am

:eager:

--J.D.

WildCat · Post by **WildCat** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 1:27 am

Heh, never noticed that Seattle borrowed from Phish... the riff where they chant "Wilson" is directly from a Phish song.

swellman · Post by **swellman** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 5:17 am

Hotlanta to lose

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:02 am

Week 1 Standings:

0 Doctor X GB (0)

. . .

. . . wait for it . . .

0 Pyrrho GB (0)
0 WildCat GB (0)
0 Tiosylanyl GB (0)
0 Enchantress GB (0)
0 bcurnutte GB (0)
0 Grammatron GB (0)
0 Evolver GB (0)
0 shemp GB (0)
0 Anaxagoras Ind (0)
0 izittrue Ind (0)
0 jacks NYG (0)
0 RadRick Ind (0)
0 jonJ703 Ind (0)
0 gnome Ind (0)

0 grayman
0 Swellman

As always, check my math . . . yes, you may use your fingers. . . .

http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264 ... 81ffa3.jpg

"Watching This Week was an Act of Suicide"

--J. "NI!" [Shhh!--Ed.] D.

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 10:33 am

swellman wrote:Hotlanta to lose

swellman to lose a typing finger for still saying "Hotlanta".

grayman · Post by **grayman** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 11:24 am

I know I'm late to this thread. I stopped for coffee on my way here.

Dolph Lunggrens to lose.

swellman · Post by **swellman** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 12:02 pm

gnome wrote:
swellman wrote:Hotlanta to lose
swellman to lose a typing finger for still saying "Hotlanta".

Obviously you've never spent a summer in that city! :D

Tom Brady missed practice yesterday, and of course the local media (and St. Bill himself) are cautious about going down to Miami. "They've got a good team", etc.

Which means bet the farm on Miami to lose...

izittrue · Post by **izittrue** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 1:03 pm

Indy to lose to Denver.

Tiosylanyl · Post by **Tiosylanyl** » Sun Sep 07, 2014 12:15 pm

http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j191/ ... 9f0ea7.jpg

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sun Sep 07, 2014 8:49 pm

http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264 ... 8fbefb.jpg

Good Citizens! Know that the First Man of Rome Making You Cry, His Humble MagNIfIcence, will be traveling the World for the next two weeks. During that time, whilst there may be delays in posting of the Grid of Despair and Standings of Suffering, Know, Good Citizens, that if you post on time your pick will be recognized. His iPod comes with an abacus application.

--J. "Atia of the Julii! I Call for Justice!" D.

Tiosylanyl · Post by **Tiosylanyl** » Sun Sep 07, 2014 8:54 pm

Is that supposed to give us confidence that you math skills have improved?

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sun Sep 07, 2014 10:22 pm

0 + 0 = ?

Take your time. . . .

--J.D.

jacks · Post by **jacks** » Mon Sep 08, 2014 1:44 am

does anybody wanna talk about it, you know NE

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Mon Sep 08, 2014 2:12 am

?

--J.D.

swellman · Post by **swellman** » Wed Sep 10, 2014 6:16 pm

Chargers to lose.

Grammatron · Post by **Grammatron** » Wed Sep 10, 2014 6:19 pm

NY Jets to lose.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Wed Sep 10, 2014 6:44 pm

http://v5m7a00rv3n169bq.zippykid.netdna ... 9480c4.jpg

--J.D.

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Wed Sep 10, 2014 11:24 pm

Vikings to get whacked.

shemp · Post by **shemp** » Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:29 am

Gimme the Chargers.

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Thu Sep 11, 2014 3:43 am

Failcons to fail.