A Thought for the Day

[Ben Trovado]

An Irish comedian in the past did a tour of Canada and was asked what made him decide to do so.

"Well," says he, "I was in me pub, drinkin', when I saw this here advertisement on me coaster. 'Drink Canada Dry,' it said."

"So I thought I'd have a go."

[Pyrrho]

April 1. I am not looking forward to the barrage of stupid emails at work.

[Doctor X]

– J.D.

P.S. He usually does a fake biography on April Fools' Day, One version of the Dreadnaught Affair states that the Navy sent men to demand they must cane the pranksters. This one agreed provided he could cane them back.

[Hotarubi]

April 1. I am not looking forward to the barrage of stupid emails at work.

Know what. Minions had 9 external customers raise complaints about received emails they decided we "deliberately trolled them with because april foolz"

No.Really.

[Doctor X]

In the tumult of civil discord, the laws of society lose their force, and their place is seldom supplied by those of humanity. The ardor of contention, the pride of victory, the despair of success, the memory of past injuries, and the fear of future dangers, all contribute to inflame the mind, and to silence the voice of pity.

– Edward Gibbon, The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire

– J.D.

[Bruce]

Saw this in a reddit comment:

"I was born young, and I stayed that way until I was much older."

[Doctor X]

His opening statement.

– J.D.

[Pyrrho]

[Hotarubi]

A cloud the size of a bus contains enough water to sustain an adult human for one day.

[shemp]

A beer cave the size of a bus contains enough beer to sustain an adult human for one day.

[Doctor X]

. . . the use of letters is the principle circumstance that distinguishes a civilized people from a herd of savages incapable of knowledge or reflection. Without that artificial help, the human memory so dissipates or corrupts the ideas intrusted [Sic – Ed.] to her charge; and the nobler faculties of the mind, no longer supplied with models or with materials gradually forget their powers; the judgment becomes feeble and lethargic, the imagination languid or irregular. Fully to apprehend this important truth, let us attempt, in an improved society, to calculate the immense distance between the man of learning and the illiterate peasant.

– Edward Gibbon, The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire

https://i.imgur.com/kW912Jv.gif

– J.D.

[Doctor X]

Appalled to learn that @bindelj sexually harassed me by (checks notes) making me laugh while lunching. I’ve naturally consulted lawyers, but they say my case is likely to fail at trial due to a legal loophole known as ‘this is bullshit’. Devastated. Please send more fake concern.

– J.K. Rowling

Basically, a lesbian feminist described having a lunch with Ms. Rowling and others who have been upset with their opinions regarding transexuals. Her article is here, and as a Member of the Patriarchy, I wonder why she does not just make me a sandwich. She does sort of equate the "trans-mob" with "The Patriarchy" [Franchises available. – Ed.] so there you go.

The Usual Suspects of Blue Check Marks descended. Some, who also hate Rowling for her opinions, tried to accuse her of try to "turn" Rowling. Because those who believe gender is fluid but innately decided also feel one can be "made a lesbian," or something. I do not know. I have no sandwich.

This was Ms. Rowling's Tweeted response.

In the rain.




I mean, she apparently lives in England so she probably does Tweet in the rain. Or maybe sleet. Certainly without functioning toilets.

Or central heating.

Or real sports.

Wibble.

– J.D.

[Ben Trovado]

Any story that does not have Batman in it would be much improved by the addition of Batman.

Hamlet? He finds conclusive evidence, punches out the King, and has already administered the antidote to everyone.

The French Connection? The police, once they finally find the drugs, find the man they are searching for tied up and hanging from a flag pole outside the police station with a signed confession.

Home Alone? More punching and a stern lecture to the parents along with tracking equipment from Wayne Enterprises to avoid a sequel (a huge improvement by itself).

Casablanca? Batman. Punching. Nazis.

The Seven Samurai? All the villagers get ready at their posts, only to hear the signs of a huge scuffle throughout the night. In the morning, they find all of the bandits unconscious and stripped of their weapons. A new Wayne foundation project to eliminate hunger is announced the next week.

The Rise of Skywalker? He punches out the writers, directors, and essentially everyone at Disney.

I rest my case.

[Doctor X]

So why not add him to Batman Forever?

– J.D.

[Ben Trovado]

So why not add him to Batman Forever?

– J.D.

It would have been better with Batman in it. I stand by that.

[Pyrrho]

Always worth a read.

"A short lesson in perspective" by Linds Redding

https://www.davidairey.com/linds-redding-perspective

[sparks]

Fucking brilliant! Thanks again Pyrrho.

"Our ad agencies, design groups, film and music studios, have gone from being cottage industries and guilds of craftsmen and women, essentially unchanged from the middle-ages, to dark satanic mills of mass production."

Yep. Holy fucking shit on a shingle.

Exactly the same thing in broadcasting. Nothing but pablum for the great unwashed, but do it with about a quarter of the people, OK? And don't spend any fucking money!!!!

Stupid fuckers.

[Ben Trovado]

Always worth a read.

"A short lesson in perspective" by Linds Redding

https://www.davidairey.com/linds-redding-perspective

"A shit-load of empty Prozac boxes, wine bottles, a lot of grey hair and a tumour of indeterminate dimensions."


He should have gone into law.

He would have insisted on knowing the dimensions.

[Doctor X]

He should have gone into law.

I, for one, am offended that zou assume zis pronouns and gender!

Reported.

– J.D.

[Doctor X]

Here lies I, the King's dog
pray tell, who's dog are you?

– J.D.

[Pyrrho]

So why not add him to Batman Forever?

– J.D.

It would have been better with Batman in it. I stand by that.

[Ben Trovado]

So why not add him to Batman Forever?

– J.D.

It would have been better with Batman in it. I stand by that.

That . . . is Goddamned ART!

[Doctor X]

In the early hours of the morning, Hauer re-wrote this part of the script and pitched the scene to his boss. “It was one o’clock in the morning. I was gonna be fired at 3,” explained Ridley Scott. “And then somebody says Rutger wants you. I said, ‘Oh s**t!’” Scott marched to the actor’s trailer and listened to the revised speech. “He read it, and it was great… I said, ‘that’s what we’re gonna do.’”

I Have Seen Things!

– J.D.

[Pyrrho]

Twit: https://twitter.com/A_AMilne/status/1520267187008811008

[Pyrrho]

https://i.imgur.com/deu6tI9.jpg

[Pyrrho]

[Doctor X]

Pastor: I gave thanks to the Lord's decision of their sacrifice and said a prayer.

Ji-yeong: Bullshit. You killed them yourself.

– Squid Game

– J.D.

[Pyrrho]

Hugh Laurie @hughlaurie
The future is bright. Unfortunately, that’s not where we’re headed.

[Pyrrho]

https://i.imgur.com/wgQ8myC.jpg