The UK thread

[Hotarubi]

There have been 22 no confidence motions in British Political history. 16 have been successful. 6 (including Smalljohnson) have been unsuccessful.

The last "successful" motion was against true socialist Lord James Callaghan, member of the Privy council and Knight of the Garter in 1979. Said to have lost belief in God while he was working as a trade union official.

That would do it

[Doctor X]

Lost by one vote that one.

– J.D.

[Hotarubi]

Lost by one vote that one.

– J.D.

Indeed. Apparently one of the beer pipes leaked and the house was evacuated. Then a box with 16,472 votes was suddenly "found" under Norman Tebbit's coffin.

[Doctor X]

Indeed. Apparently one of the beer pipes leaked and the house was evacuated. Then a box with 16,472 votes was suddenly "found" under Norman Tebbit's coffin.

At 3:00 A.M.

3:00 A.M.

Though to take it seriously, I thought there was a case of some Member of Parliament being carried in on his hospital bed just so he could cast the, "yeah, fuck 'im!" vote.

– J.D.

[solely]

I didn't watch the Queen's jubilee, is she selling T-shirts?

[Doctor X]

I didn't watch the Queen's jubilee, is she selling T-shirts?

Tea cozies.

– J.D.

[Ben Trovado]

I didn't watch the Queen's jubilee, is she selling T-shirts?

Tea cozies.

– J.D.

And nudes.

[Doctor X]

Andrew rejects those scurrilous pictures.

– J.D.

[Doctor X]

https://i.imgur.com/SicsxDL.png

https://i.imgur.com/au6PzEY.png

https://i.imgur.com/5bXbMnd.png

– J. "Read by the Wives of the People Who Run the Country" D.

[Doctor X]

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpspr ... 6652_n.jpg

Or Brandon . . . er . . . Barron for that matter.

– J. "You Worthless Doll Scum!" D.

[Doctor X]

https://i.imgur.com/sq2tSMn.jpg

– J.D.

[Doctor X]

Meanwhile . . . for asthmatic:

https://i.imgur.com/BsO3yZJ.png
https://i.imgur.com/uufElW9.png
https://i.imgur.com/ReFBVhF.png
https://i.imgur.com/J7cyRBu.png
https://i.imgur.com/GyuAO3Z.png
https://i.imgur.com/oz00EjS.png

though that just means criminals and fascists prefer to fuck with Labour!!!1!!

– J.D.

[asthmatic camel]

Thanks, Doc, I needed a grin.

I'm on the second day of Covid-19, after Mrs. Camel brought the bastard back from work last week. In addition, I suffer from Postural Hypotension, meaning that I can collapse if I stand up without due care and attention. On Wednesday, I got out of the bath, carefully stood up, dried off and took my radio back into the bedroom all without issue. I returned to the bathroom to pick up my inhaler and woke up at the bottom of the stairs, stark naked, with four of my neighbours staring at me

According to Mrs. Camel, I did a really good impression of a bobsleigh, going downstairs face down and head first before smashing into the front door at the bottom. An ambulance was duly called as neck trauma was suspected. After CT scans, X rays and an overnight stay in the emergency room, I was fortunate enough to have escaped with only a fractured rib, cuts and bruises. An hour after getting home, my nose started to leak and the coughing began.

A truly magnificent performance.

[Doctor X]

I will assume a medication contributes to said postural hypertension?

Either way, work on standing slowly and, be particularly careful when you rise from the Throne of Contemplation. A lot of parasympathetic input in that.

– J.D.

[asthmatic camel]

I don't think any of the medications I currently take are causing this. Once I test negative for Covid, I'm due for a short synacthen test, after my bloods showed a borderline morning cortisol of 297. The advice so far is to drink at least 2 litres of fluids per day, (I already do), and continue to be very careful when standing up. Easy enough most of the time. I'll see what they say after the test and cooperate.

[Doctor X]

Very good.

I am sure they have reviewed your medications to make sure they are aware of any that may have postural hypotension as a side-effect.

At least advise you to get a less The Gay™ Bike.

– J. "Not Gay . . . Not . . . That There is Anything Wrong with it" D.

[asthmatic camel]

Don't you start, Doc. It's Pride week across Britland and don't we all know it.

[Doctor X]

How can anyone tell the difference?

Et cetera. . . .

– J.D.

[Hotarubi]

Why are you Karens talking about made up medical conditions. Explain how they work because they don't exist if you can't.

[asthmatic camel]

Hotarubi, as I understand it, cortisol is a steroid hormone secreted by the adrenal glands, levels of which are managed by the pituitary gland. It plays an important role in regulating blood blood sugar levels and blood pressure among other things. Low levels of cortisol can lead to the kind of blood pressure problem I experience, namely postural hypotension.

The condition certainly does seem to exist, as I currently have a head covered in healing wounds and a cracked rib. I'm really quite fortunate to have escaped far worse consequences such as spinal cord injury, paralysis and/or death.

[Ben Trovado]

Of all the people who might have recently struck their head (from reading their posts), I did not even have you in the top 3.

[ed]

I don't think any of the medications I currently take are causing this. Once I test negative for Covid, I'm due for a short synacthen test, after my bloods showed a borderline morning cortisol of 297. The advice so far is to drink at least 2 litres of fluids per day, (I already do), and continue to be very careful when standing up. Easy enough most of the time. I'll see what they say after the test and cooperate.

Well then, thats your problem right there.

Try switching to quarts.

[Hotarubi]

Hotarubi, as I understand it, cortisol is a steroid hormone secreted by the adrenal glands, levels of which are managed by the pituitary gland. It plays an important role in regulating blood blood sugar levels and blood pressure among other things. Low levels of cortisol can lead to the kind of blood pressure problem I experience, namely postural hypotension.

The condition certainly does seem to exist, as I currently have a head covered in healing wounds and a cracked rib. I'm really quite fortunate to have escaped far worse consequences such as spinal cord injury, paralysis and/or death.

Has not explained it to my satisfaction. Ergo not real.

[Pyrrho]

'es 'ad the syncope though.

[Doctor X]

Meanwhile, Boris the Slider appears a Dead Man Walking for a second completely stupid reason.

Apparently, there is a Conservative M.P. accused of multiple groping of other dudes. This is a "thing" in the UK Parliament: an M.P. is a "bit of a bad lad," to quote the Rt. Hon. Francis Urquart, said M.P. gets the "whip withdrawn," as in suspended from the party, and either quietly resigns to become the Grand Omnipotent Buggerer of the Duchy of Lancaster, since M.P.s cannot actually "resign," or somehow survives on the backbenches for a year or so until everyone forgets.

This happens to all of the parties so the political snipping tends to get muted. Sir Cement Head had to do this unto Mad Racist Jeremy for being, well, mad and racist. That Fat Scottish Git is facing a similar issue of ignoring complaints about a now suspended SNP Whip for, well, groping men and women. Some in the SNP want him to go, but since they do not have many Fat Scottish Gits about and, frankly, no one outside of Scotland cares about the SNP, and in Scotland they do not beyond, "the English? Yeah, fuck them!" he probably will survive particularly since . . .

. . . .

. . . Boris has spectacularly stepped on his own dick by promoting an M.P. with numerous complaints. These came out last week, said M.P. is "undergoing treatment so I may return to represent my constituents," which is Cameltoe-Level Self-Delusion, and the Question arose as to why Boris would promote him knowing any of this.

"I forgot," he responded.

Now principle members of his cabinet are resigning and those that are left are telling him he has to resign.

This has to be one of the dumbest reasons to destroy a career. Good old fashioned fraud and bribery, we all expect and, perhaps, even respect that. I think part of the frustration Democrats had with Trump is they could not find evidences – thanks – of fraud and bribery, which makes covering up Strokin' Joe's all the more hilarious.

One M.P. recently had to leave, because he was caught surfing porn on his phone in the House. At least that makes "sense." Too bad he did not work for CNN.

This?

Boris will have destroyed himself over:

• 1. Trying to cover up drinks parties, which other political parties also had, which everyone had, though they should not have, during their Covid lockdown.
  2. Promoting an accused sexual assaulter.

The reason for that later remains stunning. Porn? "I was horny, and that Angela Bitch spread her legs again." [Stop that. – Ed.] Groping? "I was horny and that Cement Head was spreading his legs again." Bribery, fraud? "I need money!"

The guy he promoted is not a "rising star," or anyone actually important or necessary. It is not as if he needed a Still Governor Cuomo or "Mayor Pete" for reasons no one can fathom.

Why?

Why not, when he heard of the allegations, conclude like pretty much any politician would, "oh well, next?!"

I would conclude that this establishes that He is Too Stupid to Rule, but Boris is not actually stupid. Foolish? Egotistical?

That might be the problem: a "Fortunate Son," who would embody "white privilege" if Fauxcohontas was actually from the East End, just did not think the rules applied. Fine, they all rather think that, but most are smart enough to break them over something that, at worse, gave them pleasure for a few seconds.

– J.D.

[sparks]

Camel-toe self-delusion...


Saved for posterity.

Carlin level funny!

[Pyrrho]

https://i.imgur.com/Ny8JhAx.jpg

[Hotarubi]

Meanwhile, Boris the Slider appears a Dead Man Walking for a second completely stupid reason.

Apparently, there is a Conservative M.P. accused of multiple groping of other dudes. This is a "thing" in the UK Parliament: an M.P. is a "bit of a bad lad," to quote the Rt. Hon. Francis Urquart, said M.P. gets the "whip withdrawn," as in suspended from the party, and either quietly resigns to become the Grand Omnipotent Buggerer of the Duchy of Lancaster, since M.P.s cannot actually "resign," or somehow survives on the backbenches for a year or so until everyone forgets.

This happens to all of the parties so the political snipping tends to get muted. Sir Cement Head had to do this unto Mad Racist Jeremy for being, well, mad and racist. That Fat Scottish Git is facing a similar issue of ignoring complaints about a now suspended SNP Whip for, well, groping men and women. Some in the SNP want him to go, but since they do not have many Fat Scottish Gits about and, frankly, no one outside of Scotland cares about the SNP, and in Scotland they do not beyond, "the English? Yeah, fuck them!" he probably will survive particularly since . . .

. . . .

. . . Boris has spectacularly stepped on his own dick by promoting an M.P. with numerous complaints. These came out last week, said M.P. is "undergoing treatment so I may return to represent my constituents," which is Cameltoe-Level Self-Delusion, and the Question arose as to why Boris would promote him knowing any of this.

"I forgot," he responded.

Now principle members of his cabinet are resigning and those that are left are telling him he has to resign.

This has to be one of the dumbest reasons to destroy a career. Good old fashioned fraud and bribery, we all expect and, perhaps, even respect that. I think part of the frustration Democrats had with Trump is they could not find evidences – thanks – of fraud and bribery, which makes covering up Strokin' Joe's all the more hilarious.

One M.P. recently had to leave, because he was caught surfing porn on his phone in the House. At least that makes "sense." Too bad he did not work for CNN.

This?

Boris will have destroyed himself over:

• 1. Trying to cover up drinks parties, which other political parties also had, which everyone had, though they should not have, during their Covid lockdown.
  2. Promoting an accused sexual assaulter.

The reason for that later remains stunning. Porn? "I was horny, and that Angela Bitch spread her legs again." [Stop that. – Ed.] Groping? "I was horny and that Cement Head was spreading his legs again." Bribery, fraud? "I need money!"

The guy he promoted is not a "rising star," or anyone actually important or necessary. It is not as if he needed a Still Governor Cuomo or "Mayor Pete" for reasons no one can fathom.

Why?

Why not, when he heard of the allegations, conclude like pretty much any politician would, "oh well, next?!"

I would conclude that this establishes that He is Too Stupid to Rule, but Boris is not actually stupid. Foolish? Egotistical?

That might be the problem: a "Fortunate Son," who would embody "white privilege" if Fauxcohontas was actually from the East End, just did not think the rules applied. Fine, they all rather think that, but most are smart enough to break them over something that, at worse, gave them pleasure for a few seconds.

– J.D.

News just in: He's quit.

Let the squabbling begin.

[Hotarubi]

Suella (she's a what?) Braverman has already throw her hat into the ring. Last night she said "Time for him to go!"...uh...yes I want the job."

Typically the Grauniad and the not-Independant have started the racist character assassinations already.

==

Steve Bakers "friends are imploring him to run." Liar.

==

Other candidates:

Rishi "my missus doesn't pay tax" Sunak

Jeremy Cunt

Liz "Pork Market" Truss

Tom Tugoneoff

Nadim "no chance" Muslim

Sadij "didn't want you last time" Javid

Ben "Barnes" Wallace

Penny "who?" Who.

I reckon the selection should be done via a new concept such as transporting all candidates to a remote Island, carrying rations and a makeshift weapon and remotely controlled explosives on their head and last person standing wins.

Best reality show ever . Political Death Island. I'm Negotiating with Channel 5 and ITV4

[Hotarubi]

https://i.ibb.co/4FMGyqX/PA-45022224-original-max-760x504.jpg

[Pyrrho]

When a Prime Minister resigns, when does he actually leave the job?

[Hotarubi]

He'll remain PM until the 1922 Executive committee decide leadership ballot is completed.

[Pyrrho]

Twit: https://twitter.com/scottygb/status/1544993157745721344?s=21&t=_tc0jIu1mr0PFXxia2L6BA

[Hotarubi]

https://i.ibb.co/M1pXfwd/FXCZKug-WYAEo-XEr.jpg

mmhmm.

[Doctor X]

While the comparisons to the Japanese Original American Colonial House of Cards write themselves, the "dog who had to be put down," followed Thatcher, was a compromise winner, and did not actually do anything wrong. So the Rt. Hon. Francis Urquart "advised" him to stay on during the leadership fight to "enjoy his weeks as Prime Minister," to give himself time to destroy his challengers one by one convince his party to choose him.

Neat.

This is not the case.

Johnson is dead fish. There is absolutely nothing he can do to make anything better. Perhaps he has deluded himself in to thinking he is "cementing his legacy" because, in the next three or four months, he can fix the world economy, have Putin overthrown, and convince the Surrender Monkeys that a non-border is actually a border. Then, the Pixie Faeries will descend and prevent Ireland from absorbing Northern Ireland, which only exists because not enough old racists have died yet, and convince Scotland that the SNP is the "load of deluded gits that make the Greens seem responsible" that it is.

"Then Squeaky the Squirrel went 'Neep! Neep! Neep! and we all went home for tea!"

No.

The next line is what the Conservatives want to avoid, well, most of them not named Michael "But it was My Turn!" Grove.

Having Boris around will be a constant reminder of failure, because, ultimately, Boris failed over stupidity.

So "Stupid" is to remain in charge? Giving Sir Cement Head an easy win every day? Something for the SNP to rally about? Even during the "Summer Recess?"

"Caretaker Governments" are suppose to last a few weeks during an election. It promises not to declare war on Swansea provided the opposition parties do not offer sell the country to the Swiss. Everything the Dead Fish Government tries to do will be questioned.

I suspect, by the weekend, or Monday at the latest, Boris will be forced to name his Deputy as the "caretaker PM." The usual fear is that such has a "leg up" on being leader. In these cases, the Current PM has "overstayed his welcome" – as in the Gray and Iron Ladies – or it is "time to go so the Designated Successor can take the blame for your fuck ups" – as in "Sir Tonykins." In the first everyone wants the time to measure Number 10 for the drapes and convince the Collective Deluded to "get the fuck out of the room," and in the second it is just a matter of weeks to months at most to allow the New Prat to plan for the next election.

This is not the case. Boris is not gone because the party is tired of having him around. The party is tired of his stupidity, certainly. He is gone because he Spectacularly Fucked Up. It is a "British Thing." A President can name to his cabinet people with not only no experience for their roles, they think the role should not exist because the Bible told them through their cereal in the morning. A President can name a person who wears a dress to distract that he killed thousands in the same role but now with the title of "admiral" no one, even the competent ones, ever used before.

Different system. Having a Spectacularly Fucked Up hanging around?

Already the Minions who were running to control the "1922 Committee" to try to force a new leadership or confidence vote are scurrying about to force him to go. I think the only question is whether or not the enough of the party fears giving a "caretaker PM" the job will cause them to give an advantage to someone they do not actually want. That may delay it, but the Carcass of Boris just stinks too much to wait very long.

Ultimately, Boris forgot what Trump forgot:

People did not vote for him, as he alluded to his "Fuck You All You Cunts!" speech today.

They voted against a Mad Racist.

– J.D.

[Doctor X]

Having vomited all of that, numerous party members and former-types are publicly saying he cannot stay. The actual Deputy P.M. Dominic Raab – last seen rogering Sir Cement Head's Constant Embarrassment – has announced he will not stand for leader, which removes the whole "unfair advantage" concern.

Methinks Boris will not make it to the weekend.

He is having to ask members who publicly demanded he resign last month to serve in his cabinet.

– J.D.

[Pyrrho]

Some wag has suggested that Boris, by virtue of having been born in the U. S. of A. (apparently? I dunno.) can try his luck across the pond and run for President in 2024.

[Doctor X]

The "What is the Alternative" jokes write themselves.

Though I do not think he is actually a US citizen due to rules which make my eyes bleed.

– J.D.

[Hotarubi]

Rees "Black as" Mogg: "I will not serve under another Prime Minister."

"Get it done!" says 98% of the electorate.

Shame. Mogg would have been the best Prime Minister this country ever had. In 1852.

Please Jacob. Run for leader. Please. It'd be brilliant.

[Hotarubi]

The "What is the Alternative" jokes write themselves.

Though I do not think he is actually a US citizen due to rules which make my eyes bleed.

– J.D.

He renounced his USA! USA! citizenship in 2016 a year after the IRS asked him to file his tax returns despite not living there since he was 5.

That he had pissed off the American Embassy whilst Mayor of London by requesting that they pay their taxes and traffic fines had nothing to do with this.

https://www.federalregister.gov/documen ... tion-6039g

Had he not done so, he would have been the obvious shoe-in for 2024 considering what else you've got.