The UK thread

[Anaxagoras]

For 44 days work. That was a clusterfuck. Nice work if you can get it.

And parliament wasn't even in session for the first fortnight of it due the the other Liz snuffing it.

For anyone not British, I found this summary of her tenure to be informative:

[Hotarubi]

Quote from "the Major" on request.

– J. "Vermin, Fawltey!" D.

"Fawlty."

Dreckchurth.

[Hotarubi]

Parrots are off:

Sharon Hodgson, Labour MP for Washington and Sunderland West - "Rishi Sunak has no mandate"

Julie Elliott, Labour MP for Sunderland Central - ""The Tories have chosen Rishi Sunak as the next PM, again without any mandate from the British public"

Alex Cunningham, Labour MP for Stockton North : ""Rishi Sunak has no mandate"

Mary Kelly Foy, Labour MP for City of Durham : "He has no mandate."

Andy McDonald, Labour MP for Middlesbrough: "Rishi Sunak has absolutely no mandate from the public"


Well, neither did Gordon Brown. I'm guessing you forgot that.


"BUT IT'S DIFFERENT NOW!"

[Doctor X]

Quote from "the Major" on request.

– J. "Vermin, Fawltey!" D.

"Fawlty."

Dreckchurth.

I read the sign.

– J. "Questions!" D.

[asthmatic camel]

https://i.imgur.com/PUDvBIM.png

Story

[Ben Trovado]

Is it because Rishi isn't . . . white?

[Doctor X]

Yes.

That and Labour is the party for rich pedophiles.

– J.D.

[Hotarubi]

I did like this one:

https://newsthump.com/2022/10/27/foreig ... -adultery/

[Doctor X]

Heh. Suella Braverman dresses up as Suella Braverman for Halloween party

– J.D.

[Hotarubi]

Origin:

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/20 ... t-in-qatar

The broadcaster and former England footballer Gary Lineker asked: “Whatever you do, don’t do anything gay. Is that the message?”

What. Like theatrically fall over, twice, when a Cameroonian player gets with 10 feet of you in a world cup quarter final?



Mind you, England's gayest non-participating supporter in that tournament was obviously John Barnes who regularly wore tights in club games.

English cultural soccerball reference. You yanks wouldn't understand,

[Doctor X]

Because we enjoy sports.

– J.D.

[Hotarubi]

Because we enjoy sports.

– J.D.

....where no one else takes part.

We know.

[Doctor X]

Because we enjoy sports.

....where no one else takes part.

We know.

Better then a bunch of men getting gay with each other because one of them got a ball on target once a weekend.



We know.

– J.D.

[Hotarubi]

Because we enjoy sports.

....where no one else takes part.

We know.

Better then a bunch of men getting gay with each other because one of them got a ball on target once a weekend.



We know.

– J.D.

Or than NFL players getting ghey and touching each others butts when they fail to catch a ball.

We know.

[Doctor X]

You lot like balls hitting you in the face.

We know.

– J. “Your Basic Fagdom” D.

[Hotarubi]

You lot like balls hitting you in the face.

Yes. And they are not soft.

FACTual win.

[Hotarubi]

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/20 ... -celebrity

Yes! A member of UK parliament on £84,144 pa is abandoning his constituents to go on a jolly in Australia for reality TV show "I'm a Celebrity, let's see if Ant's tried to kill any more 8 year old girls whist drunk and then get voted top tv personality again."

Hopefully, in the first episode, Hancock will have to eat a kangaroo's penis. Not part of any "trial" or "activity" for the show. Just fucking eat one.

[Doctor X]

Someone actually said that:

. . . while Andy Drummond, the deputy chair of the West Suffolk Conservative Association, said: “I’m looking forward to him eating a kangaroo’s penis. You can quote me on that.”

Soft.

Like British balls.

#Tot3sweakPusseylevelzwins

– J.D.

[Ben Trovado]

It's a man's life in the British Dental Association.

[Doctor X]

It's a man's life in the British Dental Association.

https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aZ0RnX9_460s.jpg

– J.D.

[Hotarubi]

In the study, published in the British Medical Journal, researchers in the UK and the US examined data from English and American dental surveys. The results showed that the average number of missing teeth was 6.97 for English participants, but 7.31 for those in the US.

https://dentistry.co.uk/2016/01/06/engl ... 20the%20US.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/201 ... ral-health

#nohashtagneeded

[Grammatron]

Sounds like more English people should see a dentist.

[Doctor X]

We demands you not count Arkansas if you lot will not count Scotland.

– J.D.

[Hotarubi]

Sounds like more English people should see a dentist.

Eyes bad as well, huh? You need a tel#?

[Hotarubi]

We demands you not count Arkansas if you lot will not count Scotland.

– J.D.

Make it Wales and you have a deal.

[Doctor X]

Or at least not count the sheep as "family members."

– J.D.

[Hotarubi]

Sure. As long as you remember that sister and mother are not to be registered as different people.

[Giz]

Offensive private messages get ya 3 months in jail:

“ Two Metropolitan police officers have each been sentenced to three months in prison after being found guilty of sharing racist, homophobic, misogynistic and ableist messages in a WhatsApp group with the officer who murdered Sarah Everard.

PC Jonathon Cobban, 35, and Joel Borders, 45, who has left the force, joked on the encrypted messaging platform about beating and sexually assaulting women, raping a colleague and using Taser weapons on children.

….
The judge said the fact that the offensive messages were shared on a covert WhatsApp group was even more damaging than if they had made in public.“

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/202 ... ne-couzens

[ceptimus]

Not sufficiently private, or the judge wouldn't have known about them.

[Hotarubi]

Not sufficiently private, or the judge wouldn't have known about them.

Shitheads as they are, I can't help but feel this is a "statement" sentence based on revelations about plod in the aftermath of the Everard case which got the forums and social media all-a-vapor'd. Don't agree with it.

It's on appeal.

[Doctor X]

Would be nice if you had a First Amendment.

And camouflage.

And central heating.

And dentistry.

Et cetera.

– J.D.

[Giz]

Making the big arrests:

“Maurice Snelling, a British pensioner from Staffordshire, was serving wine and mince pies in December, bringing some festive cheer to his local area. For this ‘crime’, he was reported to the police. This then set off a chain of events that have now landed him in prison. This is because Snelling was selling his mince pies in December 2020, the first winter of the pandemic – a time when the world was gripped by Covid hysteria and England was under ‘tiered’ lockdown rules.

Snelling served his pies on the premises of his Cloudside Shooting Club. At the time, Staffordshire was under ‘Tier 3’ lockdown restrictions, meaning that hospitality venues were only allowed to operate as takeaways or drive-throughs. But Snelling was allowing people to gather, eat and drink on the site.

Local residents reported Snelling to the police for the rule breach. He could have got away with just having to pay a fixed-penalty notice, but he asked his CCTV contractor to delete footage of the gatherings. Eventually, Snelling pleaded guilty to perverting the court of justice last year. At his sentencing hearing at Stoke-on-Trent Crown Court on Tuesday, he was sentenced to six months in prison.

Snelling has suffered multiple heart attacks since the proceedings started, and according to his lawyer his prognosis is ‘grim’. But the pensioner gained little sympathy from the court. Snelling’s offence, according to circuit judge David Fletcher, ‘strikes at the heart of justice’. As he delivered the sentence, Fletcher added that Snelling is ‘anti-establishment’ and that he had treated police ‘with resentment’ when they tried to enforce the rules.“


Amazing- he was resentful and anti-establishment when the establishment tried to arrest him for selling minced pies. The nerve of the little people!

https://www.spiked-online.com/2022/11/1 ... in-prison/

[Captain]

Clear case of back-sassin'. Get you a set of chains ever' time.

[Dragline]

Gotta learn the rules same as anybody else.

[Anaxagoras]

Making the big arrests:

Spoiler:

“Maurice Snelling, a British pensioner from Staffordshire, was serving wine and mince pies in December, bringing some festive cheer to his local area. For this ‘crime’, he was reported to the police. This then set off a chain of events that have now landed him in prison. This is because Snelling was selling his mince pies in December 2020, the first winter of the pandemic – a time when the world was gripped by Covid hysteria and England was under ‘tiered’ lockdown rules.

Snelling served his pies on the premises of his Cloudside Shooting Club. At the time, Staffordshire was under ‘Tier 3’ lockdown restrictions, meaning that hospitality venues were only allowed to operate as takeaways or drive-throughs. But Snelling was allowing people to gather, eat and drink on the site.

Local residents reported Snelling to the police for the rule breach. He could have got away with just having to pay a fixed-penalty notice, but he asked his CCTV contractor to delete footage of the gatherings. Eventually, Snelling pleaded guilty to perverting the court of justice last year. At his sentencing hearing at Stoke-on-Trent Crown Court on Tuesday, he was sentenced to six months in prison.

Snelling has suffered multiple heart attacks since the proceedings started, and according to his lawyer his prognosis is ‘grim’. But the pensioner gained little sympathy from the court. Snelling’s offence, according to circuit judge David Fletcher, ‘strikes at the heart of justice’. As he delivered the sentence, Fletcher added that Snelling is ‘anti-establishment’ and that he had treated police ‘with resentment’ when they tried to enforce the rules.“


Amazing- he was resentful and anti-establishment when the establishment tried to arrest him for selling minced pies. The nerve of the little people!

https://www.spiked-online.com/2022/11/1 ... in-prison/

Makes for an interesting contrast with how the police are handling the eco-protesters:

What IS the point of these police? As a lone protester forces the M25 to shut for the fourth day running and seventeen officers stand around aimlessly, more and more hard-working citizens are seeking answers

I suggest scrolling down to the section titled "In my day we knew how to deal with domestic terrorists like these"

There is a solution. You just need to treat them as the criminals they are.

[Hotarubi]

Amazing- he was resentful and anti-establishment when the establishment tried to arrest him for selling minced pies. The nerve of the little people!

https://www.spiked-online.com/2022/11/1 ... in-prison/

In actuality they proved he was taking the piss.

"The 72-year-old thought his venue, which has a CW12 Cheshire postcode, was outside of Staffordshire, the BBC reported." - December 2020

https://i.ibb.co/1JxfNXy/Screenshot-2022-11-11-093425.png

(Most of) The rest of the country's businesses followed the rules like them or not. A simple sorry would have saved everyone a load of agg. It wasn't selling pies that landed him in real trouble.

[asthmatic camel]

https://i.imgur.com/mWloIev.jpg

[Hotarubi]

[Pyrrho]

https://i.imgur.com/mfm0Fs3.jpg

[Doctor X]

https://downloadfestival.co.uk/wp-conte ... e-Dead.gif

– J.D.