Sorry to Make You Cry XIV

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Sun Jan 27, 2019 11:46 pm

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dx8aOJOXgAEj79I.jpg

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Mon Jan 28, 2019 4:37 am

http://a.espncdn.com/media/motion/2019/ ... trance.jpg

Cameron Jordan's t-shirt at the Pro-Bowl.

--J.D.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Mon Jan 28, 2019 10:10 am

https://usatftw.files.wordpress.com/201 ... 600&crop=1

--J.D.

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Mon Jan 28, 2019 11:25 pm

Clearly congress needs to get involved. :)

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Mon Jan 28, 2019 11:40 pm

Well, to take that serious, as MLB discovered with steroids, do not give the criminals the excuse to act bipartisan in their Righteous Indignation against you.

--J.D.

Grammatron · Post by **Grammatron** » Wed Jan 30, 2019 3:13 am

Spanking material for Doctor X

https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/a ... ydetail_w/

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Wed Jan 30, 2019 3:56 am

I prefer the Japanese Butt-Fumbling Original:

https://twitter.com/GOATFARMMEDIA/statu ... 48/video/1

--J.D.

Grammatron · Post by **Grammatron** » Wed Jan 30, 2019 7:13 am

But seriously, it's a very cool breakdown.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Fri Feb 01, 2019 4:23 am

--J.D.

Grammatron · Post by **Grammatron** » Fri Feb 01, 2019 10:07 am

It was more complicated than that for the Rams and their popularity.

Fans can't control when team is run by idiots or when they move. Yet people flock to success in sports. If Rams win they will certainly gain a dedicated foundation ready to see them in a brand new, world class stadium. If Rams lose, they still would have proven to be a serious football team in the league and gain a large fan base, although certainly not as large as they would gain from winning the Super Bowl.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Fri Feb 01, 2019 2:08 pm

We ["We?"--Ed.] decry "bandwagon fans," but it is hard to spend the emotional and financial capital to follow a team whose ownership gives not a shit about winning: see the Clippers under the Cunt. Same with the Yawkey Red Sox. Sure, there are "dedicated fans," and in some masochistic way, some like to believe that "one day," triumph will come despite those obstacles.

Nevertheless, it is no coincidence that the Red Sox, Patriots, and yes the St. Louis Rams, did not win until they got competent ownership. Unfortunately for the Rams, their principle owner died. It also helps when you have had A History which makes believing in the "one day" fantasy easier: see Cowboys, Steelers [Stop that.--Ed.], and even Niners fans.

--J.D.

Grammatron · Post by **Grammatron** » Sat Feb 02, 2019 2:50 am

https://i.imgur.com/oYo0GOp.jpg

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sat Feb 02, 2019 3:10 am

Is not Mark Walberg a little too old to play Brady?

--J.D.

Grammatron · Post by **Grammatron** » Sat Feb 02, 2019 3:24 am

Doctor X wrote: ↑Sat Feb 02, 2019 3:10 am Is not Mark Walberg a little too old to play Brady?

--J.D.

They have someone with a soul playing Belichick.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sat Feb 02, 2019 6:41 am

That is just wrong.

--J.D.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sat Feb 02, 2019 6:41 am

That is just wrong.

--J.D.

izittrue · Post by **izittrue** » Sat Feb 02, 2019 3:03 pm

Guillermo interviewing Brady and Belichick. Priceless.
I have only the Patriots to pick for the loss. Which means another NE victory.
You can send me a virtual scotch DocX.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sat Feb 02, 2019 5:17 pm

We all do our part for Freedom, izittrue.

--J.D.

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Sat Feb 02, 2019 8:45 pm

https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/2/2/18 ... ontroversy

Why everyone hates the Patriots

If you don’t pay much attention to sports, you might not know that as of 2019, the Patriots are frankly astonishing. During the era of head coach Bill Belichick and quarterback Tom Brady, who both joined the team in 2000, the Patriots have gone to the Super Bowl nine times; 2019 marks their third consecutive Super Bowl. They’ve won 16 division titles, made it to the AFC championships for the last eight years in a row, and, since 2001, have never had a losing season.

Yet compared to other uncontested sports dynasties — for example, the era of Michael Jordan’s Chicago Bulls — the Patriots’ longstanding dominance over the NFL hasn’t exactly inspired nationwide support and pride. Quite the opposite, in fact: hate, or at least deep resentment, over the Patriots’ success has become so common that Patriots fans, and even the Patriots themselves, have started embracing the hate as a badge of honor.

Link:

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sun Feb 03, 2019 6:09 am

--J.D.

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Sun Feb 03, 2019 3:43 pm

Need to have an episode about Francis's beard.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sun Feb 03, 2019 6:14 pm

:Waaaah: Super Bowl Pickies:
gif[/td][/tr] gif[/td][/tr] gif[/td][/tr]

Loser	Team	Result
:Mockering: Evolver the Excrement Eater	Flats	https://beta-static.photobucket.com/ima ... b4dax9.gif
:Mockering: Anaxagoras アホだよ	Flats	https://beta-static.photobucket.com/ima ... b4dax9.gif
*His Humble MagNIfIcence*	https://beta-static.photobucket.com/ima ... 5f0c4f.gif	https://beta-static.photobucket.com/ima ... vacefz.gif
Pyrrho the Profound	Lambs	https://beta-static.photobucket.com/ima ... vacefz.gif
gnome the gnostic	Lambs*	https://beta-static.photobucket.com/ima ... vacefz.gif
Enchantress the Excellent	Lambs	https://beta-static.photobucket.com/ima ... vacefz.gif
:Mockering: izittrue the intestine inhabitant	Flats	https://beta-static.photobucket.com/ima ... b4dax9.gif
:Mockering: Radrick the Rectal Receiver	Flats	https://beta-static.photobucket.com/ima ... b4dax9.gif
:Mockering: Wildcat the Wheeping Warty Willy Whiper	Flats	https://beta-static.photobucket.com/ima ... b4dax9.gif
Grammatron	:?	:Waaaah:
:Mockering: shemp the semen saturated shit slurper	Flats	https://beta-static.photobucket.com/ima ... b4dax9.gif

*NFL Schedule

--J.D.

*RadrickGamblingBonus

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Sun Feb 03, 2019 7:05 pm

Link:

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Sun Feb 03, 2019 10:10 pm

Did I miss Gram's pick?

--J.D.

shemp · Post by **shemp** » Sun Feb 03, 2019 10:22 pm

Pyrrho wrote: ↑Sun Feb 03, 2019 7:05 pm
Link:

But what about those whose first name is "Ram"?

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Sun Feb 03, 2019 10:44 pm

They get to sit next to Francis.

gnome · Post by **gnome** » Sun Feb 03, 2019 11:27 pm

Fuggit. I am changing my pick to the Rams to lose. That way Anax wins instead of ties if I'm wrong. More sporting.

shemp · Post by **shemp** » Sun Feb 03, 2019 11:31 pm

In the spirit of sportsmanship, I'd like to wish good luck to the Rams and their fans.

Nah, just kidding, fuck the Rams, GO PATS!!!

Grammatron · Post by **Grammatron** » Sun Feb 03, 2019 11:50 pm

Ok well fuck that call

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Mon Feb 04, 2019 3:04 am

What?

--J.D.

shemp · Post by **shemp** » Mon Feb 04, 2019 3:07 am

A game only a defensive coordinator could love. The entire defense should get the MVP.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Mon Feb 04, 2019 3:17 am

Where were they last year?

Notice when the Pats were killing clock and in FG range to potentially ice the game, he did not drop back ten to get sacked.

Gostowski. . . .

--J.D.

shemp · Post by **shemp** » Mon Feb 04, 2019 3:26 am

Goodell can still eat a ton of dicks and die.

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Mon Feb 04, 2019 3:28 am

Pats again??

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Mon Feb 04, 2019 3:41 am

Lowest scoring Superbowl ever. Gotta credit the Pats' defense.

shemp · Post by **shemp** » Mon Feb 04, 2019 3:53 am

I think the most important thing we can take from this season is that both Julian Edelman and Craig Kimbrel are badly in need of a shave.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Mon Feb 04, 2019 5:38 am

Francis may be the only one with a bigger beard.

Now able to process this I do not know what is going on: "Nothing is real!" All jokes aside, I did not think the team had "it" this year. There were some improvements in defense but not that much. Then they blew games against weak teams, not to mention the "should we tackle this guy?" debacle in Miami which tossed home field advantage.

I thought they should beat the Chargers, but it would be tough since the Chargers were playing better . . . and the game was over before the half. I thought they would probably lose to Kansas City--IN KANSAS!!1!! https://beta-static.photobucket.com/ima ... ingout.gif--and they dominated them . . . until the third quarter.

So, EVERYONE expected a higher scoring game. Both teams scoring 20+. Various honks and homers would predict 40-31 or 31-24 either Pats or Rams. Hence my frustration as the Pats shot themselves in their feet repeatedly: the Rams will start to score and you cannot.

At one point, when the Pats finally made it 10-3, I joked I would be happy if they just made it 13-3.

The Pats just held a High Scoring Offense to less points than the Infamous Standard Against Which All Defenses are Measure Da Bears held the Tony "I Tore My Vagina!" Eason-led Pats.

Weird.

--J.D.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:17 am

:bricks: Conference Championship Standings:

199 gnome ATL (6), Cin (6), Mia (7), Jax (5), KC (22), LAR (31), Car (7), Pit (12), MP (2), NE (45), Hou (15), ItR (4), LAC (13), NO (14), RRB (10)

170 Anaxagoras Car (7), SF (4), Min (11), Ind (16), KC (22), Cin (6), Mia (7), Pit (12), LAR (31), MP (1), Hou (15), ItR (4), Bal (10), Phi (10), NO (14)

167 Evolver Hou (15), Den (6), Mia (7), Jax (5), KC (22), Cin (6), Bal (14), LAR (31), Car (7), Was (7), MP (2), Pit (12), ItR (6), LAC (13), NO (14)
167 shemp ATL (6), Car (7), Den (6), Mia (7), Jax (5), KC (22), Cin (6), Bal (14), LAR (31), Sea (12), Was (7), MP (2), Min (11), Pit (12), ItR (8), Dal (11)

155.5 Wildcat ATL (6), Sea (12), Den (6), Min (11), Jax (5), Cin (6), GB (6.5), LAR (31), Car (7), Was (7), MP (2), ItR (11), Pit (12), Phi (15), Mia (7), Ind (11)
151 Doctor X Oak (4), Den (6), Jax (5), MP (16), KC (22), Cin (6), Min (11), LAR (31), Mia (7), Was (7), ItR (6), Phi (10), NO (14), DSB (6)

147 Radrick Hou (15), Car (7), Den (6), Mia (7), Was (7), KC (22), Cin (6), Min (11), LAR (31), MP (2), Pit (12), ItR (8), LAC (13)

137.5 Grammatron Oak (4), LAC (18), Cin (6), GB (6.5), Sea (12), KC (22), Was (7), ItR (7), Min (11), MP (2), Dal (18), Phi (10), NO (14)
135 izittrue Dal (18), Den (6), KC (22), Car (7), MP (2), Pit (12), LAR (31), Mia (7), Hou (15), ItR (4), Ind (11)

106 Enchantress ATL (6), Den (6), Sea (12), Cin (6), MP (1), NE (45), ItR (4), LAC (13), KC (13)

87 Pyrrho Hou (15), Mia (7), KC (22), Bal (14), Sea (12), MP (1), ItR (2), NO (14)

As always, check my math . . . yes, you may use your fingers. . . .

gnome Tells Anax Fuck Your Napkin!!!!"

--J. "Hello Cleveland!!" D.

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Mon Feb 04, 2019 10:11 am

‘No God, Please Not Now,’ Yells Rapidly Aging Tom Brady As Old Crone’s Spell Begins To Wear Off During Super Bowl
https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/im ... bgypq7.jpg

ATLANTA—Begging for mercy while watching his arms wither and skin wrinkle, a rapidly aging Tom Brady cried out for an old crone Sunday as her spell began to wear off in the middle of Super Bowl LIII. “Please, wicked conjurer of misfortune, don’t do this to me now, all I ask is for another quarter of precious youth,” said the New England Patriots quarterback as his muscle mass quickly depleted, his bones grew brittle, and his hair turned a ghostly white before falling out in clumps. “This can’t be happening! You miserable hag, you promised me two more MVP seasons. After all I did for you! The talisman! You told me the blessing was eternal. You promised me youth, immortality! You promised!” At press time, a 141-year-old Brady informed Patriots management of his intentions to continue playing in the 2019 season.

The Finest in Journalism! 54-40 or Fight!

--J.D.

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Mon Feb 04, 2019 11:26 am

I go on Twitter to find out who won and what's trending? Adam Levine's nipples.