Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Drama queens must check their tiaras at the door.
shemp
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Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by shemp »

I offer two pieces of evidence:

1. The fifth century C.E. Greek historian Priscus of Panium described him as:
Short of stature, with a broad chest and a large head
These are attributes of dwarfism. Clearly, Attila was a midget.

2. This is a likeness by artist and historian George S. Stuart created from his physical description mentioned in historical records:

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/ ... Stuart.jpg

There he is, all dolled up on his cute little pony with it's own cute necktie. That is so fucking gay!

So, we have no choice but to conclude that Attila the Hun was a gay midget. Feel free to applaud me for my extensive research.
Doctor X
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Re: Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by Doctor X »

We call them "Little Faggots" you prejudiced scum!

--J.D.
Giz
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Re: Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by Giz »

First Alexander, then Julius Caesar and now Attila?!

Next you'll tell us that Nelson was kissing fellas!
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Re: Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by Doctor X »

“Don’t talk to me about naval tradition. It’s nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.”

-- Winston Churchill
--J.D.
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Re: Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by The Editor »

“I never said it. I wish I had.”

--Winston Churchill, responding to his personal assistant Anthony Montague-Browne's inquiry as to whether or not he actually made that statement.
shemp
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Re: Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by shemp »

Abdul Alhazred wrote: Wed Oct 17, 2018 10:19 pm
Giz wrote: Wed Oct 17, 2018 9:40 pm First Alexander, then Julius Caesar and now Attila?!

Next you'll tell us that Nelson was kissing fellas!
Alexander -- gay

Julius -- switch hitter 8)

Nelson -- Royal Navy (need I say more) :coolspecs:

Attila -- Obviously straight all the way. Obviously. :evil:
Hey pal, who's the historical research expert here? Attila was as gay as the Ace of Spades!
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Re: Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by Giz »

Atilla called the men he rode with “hun”. That does sound kinda gay.
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Re: Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by Doctor X »

"The Hun?"

We all know what a bunch of limp-wristed walking perfume shops the Germans are.

--J.D.
ed
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Re: Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by ed »

The Editor wrote: Wed Oct 17, 2018 10:04 pm
“I never said it. I wish I had.”

--Winston Churchill, responding to his personal assistant Anthony Montague-Browne's inquiry as to whether or not he actually made that statement.
“Just kidding”

--Winston Churchill, following up on his response to his personal assistant Anthony Montague-Browne's inquiry as to whether or not he actually made that statement.
Giz
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Re: Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by Giz »

Abdul Alhazred wrote: Thu Oct 18, 2018 12:30 pm Misattributed to Churchill when he was First Lord of the Admiralty.

Actually said by Somerset Gough-Calthorpe who was Second Lord of the Admiralty.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somerset_Gough-Calthorpe
Oh, the vice-lord?
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Re: Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by ed »

Abdul Alhazred wrote: Thu Oct 18, 2018 12:30 pm Misattributed to Churchill when he was First Lord of the Admiralty.

Actually said by Somerset Gough-Calthorpe who was Second Lord of the Admiralty.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somerset_Gough-Calthorpe

Your reference does not support your contention.

Furthermore:
Promoted to rear admiral
Figures.
ed
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Re: Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by ed »

shemp wrote: Wed Oct 17, 2018 3:16 am
These are attributes of dwarfism. Clearly, Attila was a midget.

ummm
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Re: Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by Giz »

He wasn’t able to besiege Rome because he only had ... small arms.
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Re: Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by gnome »

Seems as good a breakdown as any:

https://www.diffen.com/difference/Dwarf_vs_Midget
Giz
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Re: Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by Giz »

It's kinda strange to me that it is midget that it's considered offensive rather than dwarf. I mean midget had always been a term for "short human" whereas dwarf is for an inhuman elf/goblin/pixie whatever. Seems like "dwarf" is the de-humanizing word.
Giz
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Re: Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by Giz »

Probably not usable on a pony though, probably why Attila used the sword of mars. (Presumably a short sword )
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Re: Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by Witness »

We must rely on contemporary sources. A photography:

https://i.imgur.com/GTfHH8l.jpg

And a description:
Appearance and character

There is no surviving first-hand account of Attila's appearance, but there is a possible second-hand source provided by Jordanes, who cites a description given by Priscus. [14] [15]
He was a man born into the world to shake the nations, the scourge of all lands, who in some way terrified all mankind by the dreadful rumors noised abroad concerning him. He was haughty in his walk, rolling his eyes hither and thither, so that the power of his proud spirit appeared in the movement of his body. He was indeed a lover of war, yet restrained in action, mighty in counsel, gracious to suppliants and lenient to those who were once received into his protection. Short of stature, with a broad chest and a large head; his eyes were small, his beard thin and sprinkled with grey; and he had a flat nose and tanned skin, showing evidence of his origin. [16] : 182–18
https://everipedia.org/wiki/attila/
shemp
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Re: Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by shemp »

Giz wrote: Thu Oct 18, 2018 5:44 pm It's kinda strange to me that it is midget that it's considered offensive rather than dwarf. I mean midget had always been a term for "short human" whereas dwarf is for an inhuman elf/goblin/pixie whatever. Seems like "dwarf" is the de-humanizing word.
The politically correct word is "shrimp".
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Re: Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by gnome »

Giz wrote: Thu Oct 18, 2018 5:44 pm It's kinda strange to me that it is midget that it's considered offensive rather than dwarf. I mean midget had always been a term for "short human" whereas dwarf is for an inhuman elf/goblin/pixie whatever. Seems like "dwarf" is the de-humanizing word.
I think it's the etymology.

From the article I posted:
Midget, comes from the word midge "small fly" + -et, so that a midget is etymologically a "very small fly". The first reference to the word is found in 1848 in Canada with the meaning "sand fly". In Old English it was "mycg", and it goes back to an Indo-European root, *mu-, which also gave the word mosquito and, by a circuitous route, musket.

The word Dwarf is of Germanic ancestry, coming ultimately from the proto-Germanic root *dhwergwhos meaning "tiny". In Old English it was "dweorg" and meant "person of abnormally small stature"
I could see where "person of abnormally small stature" is less annoying a term than "very small fly".

I think the Germanic/Old English term possibly predates its familiarization as a mythical race--especially before Tolkien.
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Re: Was Attila the Hun a gay midget?

Post by Doctor X »

If I may raise a small practical problem at this point?

Are we doing "Stonehenge" tomorrow night?

--J.D.