One Man and his Fag-o-Cycle

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Thu Aug 27, 2020 7:21 pm

https://i.imgur.com/Rwf96Nq.jpg

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Thu Aug 27, 2020 10:50 pm

https://i.imgur.com/BewwVnY.jpg

sparks · Post by **sparks** » Fri Aug 28, 2020 1:30 am

asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Thu Aug 27, 2020 7:21 pm https://i.imgur.com/Rwf96Nq.jpg

Might have taken an hour, but it was worth it. :lol:

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Fri Aug 28, 2020 8:07 pm

It was worth every second, sparks. :D

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Fri Aug 28, 2020 11:42 pm

https://i.imgur.com/bGYsmpH.jpg

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Sat Aug 29, 2020 10:53 pm

https://i.imgur.com/YtnD77t.jpg

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Sun Aug 30, 2020 7:42 pm

https://i.imgur.com/NMz00DO.jpg

sparks · Post by **sparks** » Mon Aug 31, 2020 5:54 am

Now that's more like it!

Bucket list: A month in Ireland. :)

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Tue Sep 01, 2020 1:47 am

https://i.imgur.com/RUKjmHX.jpg

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Tue Sep 22, 2020 12:15 pm

Cyling Warrior.
So, for the second time in a week, I encountered a bunch of fat Pakistani warriors, parked illegally on double yellow lines on a clearly marked cycle lane. There's no way off the road because of barriers, so I had to swerve around the corner, nearly hit an innocent pedestrian and fell off my bike.
I went nuts and kicked the fuck out of the inconsiderate parker's car.
He and his four fat friends exited the kebab shop and threatened to kick my head in...
"Come on then, you obese fuckers." Said I "Come and fucking try it! I'll take all five of you on and win!"

"We have you on camera." Said one of them.

"Fucking fantastic" said I, "call the police and see what they think of your mate's life-endangering parking."

And off they fucked. :)

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Wed Sep 23, 2020 12:55 am

https://i.imgur.com/begLbMK.jpg

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Fri Sep 25, 2020 1:31 am

https://i.imgur.com/cs6Ns27.jpeg

sparks · Post by **sparks** » Fri Sep 25, 2020 7:06 am

770b8fa12831a23545390bfd09dcfed3.jpg

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Fri Sep 25, 2020 11:18 pm

https://i.imgur.com/PmCBjWR.jpg

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Thu Oct 01, 2020 1:49 pm

I haven't listened to my Zappa collection for ages. Must dig them out. :)

shemp · Post by **shemp** » Thu Oct 01, 2020 2:57 pm

asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Thu Oct 01, 2020 1:49 pm I haven't listened to my Zappa collection for ages. Must dig them out. :)

You gonna dig him out too? I don't think his family will like that.

Rob Lister · Post by **Rob Lister** » Thu Oct 01, 2020 3:18 pm

shemp wrote: ↑Thu Oct 01, 2020 2:57 pm
asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Thu Oct 01, 2020 1:49 pm I haven't listened to my Zappa collection for ages. Must dig them out. :)
You gonna dig him out too? I don't think his family will like that.

\

Billy the Mountain

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Thu Oct 01, 2020 11:08 pm

https://i.imgur.com/kVMietU.jpeg

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Sat Oct 03, 2020 2:18 am

Halfords bumps up cycle supplies as 'unprecedented demand' lifts profit

The cycling to car parts retailer has benefited from staycation trends as well as motorists shunning public transport.

Halfords said it has been ramping up supplies of bicycles as "unprecedented demand" extends into the autumn even after the end of the peak summer season.

The retailer, which also sells and fits car parts, was boosted by a surge in demand as many Britons stayed in the UK during the holiday period, with the pandemic restricting foreign travel.

But it said it had continued its strong growth into September - and is now recruiting for hundreds of motoring technician roles both at its stores and auto centres.

https://news.sky.com/story/halfords-bum ... t-12086655

sparks · Post by **sparks** » Sat Oct 03, 2020 4:28 am

9d848be4bed00ccdc9d5c8ed8f738f53.jpg

Rob Lister · Post by **Rob Lister** » Sat Oct 03, 2020 12:28 pm

she looks weird. to many steroids?

ed · Post by ed » Sat Oct 03, 2020 12:37 pm

asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Tue Sep 22, 2020 12:15 pm Cyling Warrior.
So, for the second time in a week, I encountered a bunch of fat Pakistani warriors, parked illegally on double yellow lines on a clearly marked cycle lane. There's no way off the road because of barriers, so I had to swerve around the corner, nearly hit an innocent pedestrian and fell off my bike.
I went nuts and kicked the fuck out of the inconsiderate parker's car.
He and his four fat friends exited the kebab shop and threatened to kick my head in...
"Come on then, you obese fuckers." Said I "Come and fucking try it! I'll take all five of you on and win!"

"We have you on camera." Said one of them.

"Fucking fantastic" said I, "call the police and see what they think of your mate's life-endangering parking."

And off they fucked. :)

A bit of the old paki bashing. In the UK you might be charged with a hate crime. Worse since you demeaned their cultural blockage of rights of way.

All told, I think you are in trouble. And being married to a woman of color simply underscores your colonialist mindset. If adopting a black kid makes our potential supreme court justice a racist, I shudder to think that they would make of you.

It is off to the reeducation camp for you old son.

sparks · Post by **sparks** » Sat Oct 03, 2020 5:36 pm

Rob Lister wrote: ↑Sat Oct 03, 2020 12:28 pm she looks weird. to many steroids?

No. Simply in excellent condition.

Rob Lister · Post by **Rob Lister** » Sat Oct 03, 2020 8:31 pm

No. there's something off about it. The alien face and hair maybe?

shemp · Post by **shemp** » Sat Oct 03, 2020 9:56 pm

She can hold my "handlebar" anytime!

Witness · Post by **Witness** » Sat Oct 03, 2020 11:42 pm

https://i.imgur.com/YChQ2hY.jpg

sparks · Post by **sparks** » Sun Oct 04, 2020 1:56 am

Rob Lister wrote: ↑Sat Oct 03, 2020 8:31 pm No. there's something off about it. The alien face and hair maybe?

Alien or not, you'd nail it in a heartbeat if it she would let you.

Pyrrho · Post by **Pyrrho** » Thu Oct 15, 2020 2:05 pm

https://i.imgur.com/bW2HdA4.jpg

robinson · Post by **robinson** » Thu Oct 15, 2020 5:18 pm

My paperboy bike had the front basket, and the rear baskets

https://d3h6k4kfl8m9p0.cloudfront.net/s ... BSGAww.jpg

https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/8h4AAOSw ... -l1600.jpg

I was a motherfucking monster at 4 a.m.

From age 12 to 15 I got up every goddamn morning at 3:30 a.m.

Folded and delivered papers, rain or shine, freezing or muggy, which makes me wonder what the fuck was wrong with me

robinson · Post by **robinson** » Thu Oct 15, 2020 5:18 pm

Now back to hot babes in tight outfits on bikes

https://thechive.com/wp-content/uploads ... info&w=600

:D

https://thechive.com/wp-content/uploads ... info&w=600

shemp · Post by **shemp** » Fri Oct 16, 2020 1:00 am

robinson wrote: ↑Thu Oct 15, 2020 5:18 pm My paperboy bike had the front basket, and the rear baskets

https://d3h6k4kfl8m9p0.cloudfront.net/s ... BSGAww.jpg

https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/8h4AAOSw ... -l1600.jpg

I was a motherfucking monster at 4 a.m.

From age 12 to 15 I got up every goddamn morning at 3:30 a.m.

Folded and delivered papers, rain or shine, freezing or muggy, which makes me wonder what the fuck was wrong with me

And what the fuck is wrong with you today?

robinson · Post by **robinson** » Fri Oct 16, 2020 1:59 am

Nothing an eight ball of cocaine and a couple of hookers can’t fix lolololol

Anaxagoras · Post by **Anaxagoras** » Tue Dec 22, 2020 5:41 am

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Fri Feb 12, 2021 1:30 pm

https://i.imgur.com/rOsl6Nh.jpg

"Mimosa Pale, an artist from Finland, invites her fellow citizens to climb into her vagina-themed bike taxi.
Her intention is to protest the world’s fascination with phallic objects and draw attention to the cunt (her words) instead.
So three times a week she hits the streets of Helsinki."

robinson · Post by **robinson** » Sun Feb 14, 2021 6:59 pm

Freud would laugh

Fid · Post by **Fid** » Sun Feb 14, 2021 7:26 pm

I must admit that though I have some slight familiarity with female anatomy that tumor thing under the arm is just creepy. Were the wiimmins just hiding something from me?

~~checks porn sites~~

Fid · Post by **Fid** » Mon Feb 15, 2021 4:59 am

asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Thu May 23, 2019 2:32 am https://i.imgur.com/VFFiTOL.jpg

Needs more bulge but that's just me.

asthmatic camel · Post by **asthmatic camel** » Thu Aug 26, 2021 2:10 am

So, it was a pleasant day in Manchester for once and on went the lycra...

First stop, Debdale Park, Gorton, home to two of the city's largest reservoirs. People having fun messing, simply messing about in boats.

https://i.imgur.com/tguCK3N.png

On to the nearby Lord Nelson for a non-alcoholic beer and a chat with the delightful, diminutive licensee, Melanie. Gorton has a reputation as a rough area but if you can talk the talk, as I can at need, you'll find folks pleasant enough.

https://i.imgur.com/N911XSa.png

Where to next? It strikes me that I haven't smoked my pipe for a while, and the only decent tobacconist left is in the city centre and that way I head. First I say hello to my old friends Wellington & Victoria.

https://i.imgur.com/kQl281B.png

https://i.imgur.com/drirKIp.png

Then I sit for a while smoking and watching the children play in the fountains in Picadilly Gardens.

https://i.imgur.com/2TSK0qI.png

Feeling a little thirsty, I head down Portland Street to The Grey Horse, a favourite lunch-time watering hole when I worked in the city some 35 years ago. It's hardly changed at all, I note with pleasure.

https://i.imgur.com/eDQsnGE.png

https://i.imgur.com/ZasmqrB.png

https://i.imgur.com/XATKEeu.png

A couple of doors down is The Circus Tavern, which claims to be the smallest bar in Europe. Quite possibly true: the bar is the size of a telephone box.

https://i.imgur.com/ULhkbK7.png

Onwards to The Royal Exchange and Aston's. This place is a whisky snob's wet dream.

https://i.imgur.com/tq2XXxa.png

https://i.imgur.com/Gvac4OT.png

https://i.imgur.com/2OTif97.png

50 grams of whisky-soaked shag purchased, I remember that I'm running low on some spices, so head off down Oxford Road to Rusholme and the Asian supermarket. Spices purchased, it's time for a coffee and a smoke at the Wanasah Shisha bar.

https://i.imgur.com/eDLghvM.png

https://i.imgur.com/XVD6GA1.png

It is now crunch time. Should I or shouldn't I? I know I shouldn't, but it's right there. I can see it and smell it. And I haven't had it for ages. It's no good, will-power fails and The Rusholme Chippy's siren song wins the contest.

https://i.imgur.com/9BE0sIp.png

https://i.imgur.com/gMsDjgE.png

Now stuffed full of a double kobedah, I waddle back to my bike and head for Platt Fields Park in search of a public lavatory: all the coffee and diet coke I've consumed is making its presence uncomfortably felt. I arrive just in time to catch a rather beautiful sunset.

https://i.imgur.com/pMKojZC.png

Unfortunately, the public conveniences are closed, the park is packed and there's no chance of finding a secluded bush behind which to widdle and so, with sphincter tightly clenched, it's a six-mile sprint to visit my mother. Even if she's out, I have a key. Fortunately, she's in. Mother Camel says Hi!

https://i.imgur.com/O1fIeG4.png

After spending a cheeful hour being brought up to date on who has died, who is dying and who is likely to die, I make my excuses and pop round to see my brother, who lives nearby. Bro. is not in a good way. His left arm is all stitched and bandaged up because some cunt had thoughtfully rammed a broken bottle into a hedge he was cutting. He just avoided severing a tendon, poor chap. Anyway, that tale of woe duly sympathised with, it's time for me to head for home. A rather delightful end to my day out was a stunning red moon rising. This is the best shot I could manage with the equipment to hand, street lights etc.

https://i.imgur.com/tBdZkl9.png

:)

Doctor X · Post by **Doctor X** » Thu Aug 26, 2021 5:22 am

All reported for not wearing masks.

– J.D.

ed · Post by ed » Thu Aug 26, 2021 2:02 pm

Nice. I should do something similar for my neck of the woods.