One Man and his Fag-o-Cycle
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Re: One Man and his Fag-o-Cycle
Cyling Warrior.
So, for the second time in a week, I encountered a bunch of fat Pakistani warriors, parked illegally on double yellow lines on a clearly marked cycle lane. There's no way off the road because of barriers, so I had to swerve around the corner, nearly hit an innocent pedestrian and fell off my bike.
I went nuts and kicked the fuck out of the inconsiderate parker's car.
He and his four fat friends exited the kebab shop and threatened to kick my head in...
"Come on then, you obese fuckers." Said I "Come and fucking try it! I'll take all five of you on and win!"
"We have you on camera." Said one of them.
"Fucking fantastic" said I, "call the police and see what they think of your mate's life-endangering parking."
And off they fucked. :)
So, for the second time in a week, I encountered a bunch of fat Pakistani warriors, parked illegally on double yellow lines on a clearly marked cycle lane. There's no way off the road because of barriers, so I had to swerve around the corner, nearly hit an innocent pedestrian and fell off my bike.
I went nuts and kicked the fuck out of the inconsiderate parker's car.
He and his four fat friends exited the kebab shop and threatened to kick my head in...
"Come on then, you obese fuckers." Said I "Come and fucking try it! I'll take all five of you on and win!"
"We have you on camera." Said one of them.
"Fucking fantastic" said I, "call the police and see what they think of your mate's life-endangering parking."
And off they fucked. :)
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Re: One Man and his Fag-o-Cycle
I haven't listened to my Zappa collection for ages. Must dig them out. :)
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Re: One Man and his Fag-o-Cycle
You gonna dig him out too? I don't think his family will like that.asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Thu Oct 01, 2020 1:49 pm I haven't listened to my Zappa collection for ages. Must dig them out. :)
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Re: One Man and his Fag-o-Cycle
\shemp wrote: ↑Thu Oct 01, 2020 2:57 pmYou gonna dig him out too? I don't think his family will like that.asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Thu Oct 01, 2020 1:49 pm I haven't listened to my Zappa collection for ages. Must dig them out. :)
Billy the Mountain
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Re: One Man and his Fag-o-Cycle
https://news.sky.com/story/halfords-bum ... t-12086655Halfords bumps up cycle supplies as 'unprecedented demand' lifts profit
The cycling to car parts retailer has benefited from staycation trends as well as motorists shunning public transport.
Halfords said it has been ramping up supplies of bicycles as "unprecedented demand" extends into the autumn even after the end of the peak summer season.
The retailer, which also sells and fits car parts, was boosted by a surge in demand as many Britons stayed in the UK during the holiday period, with the pandemic restricting foreign travel.
But it said it had continued its strong growth into September - and is now recruiting for hundreds of motoring technician roles both at its stores and auto centres.
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Re: One Man and his Fag-o-Cycle
A bit of the old paki bashing. In the UK you might be charged with a hate crime. Worse since you demeaned their cultural blockage of rights of way.asthmatic camel wrote: ↑Tue Sep 22, 2020 12:15 pm Cyling Warrior.
So, for the second time in a week, I encountered a bunch of fat Pakistani warriors, parked illegally on double yellow lines on a clearly marked cycle lane. There's no way off the road because of barriers, so I had to swerve around the corner, nearly hit an innocent pedestrian and fell off my bike.
I went nuts and kicked the fuck out of the inconsiderate parker's car.
He and his four fat friends exited the kebab shop and threatened to kick my head in...
"Come on then, you obese fuckers." Said I "Come and fucking try it! I'll take all five of you on and win!"
"We have you on camera." Said one of them.
"Fucking fantastic" said I, "call the police and see what they think of your mate's life-endangering parking."
And off they fucked. :)
All told, I think you are in trouble. And being married to a woman of color simply underscores your colonialist mindset. If adopting a black kid makes our potential supreme court justice a racist, I shudder to think that they would make of you.
It is off to the reeducation camp for you old son.
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Re: One Man and his Fag-o-Cycle
Alien or not, you'd nail it in a heartbeat if it she would let you.Rob Lister wrote: ↑Sat Oct 03, 2020 8:31 pm No. there's something off about it. The alien face and hair maybe?
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Re: One Man and his Fag-o-Cycle
My paperboy bike had the front basket, and the rear baskets
https://d3h6k4kfl8m9p0.cloudfront.net/s ... BSGAww.jpg
https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/8h4AAOSw ... -l1600.jpg
I was a motherfucking monster at 4 a.m.
From age 12 to 15 I got up every goddamn morning at 3:30 a.m.
Folded and delivered papers, rain or shine, freezing or muggy, which makes me wonder what the fuck was wrong with me
https://d3h6k4kfl8m9p0.cloudfront.net/s ... BSGAww.jpg
https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/8h4AAOSw ... -l1600.jpg
I was a motherfucking monster at 4 a.m.
From age 12 to 15 I got up every goddamn morning at 3:30 a.m.
Folded and delivered papers, rain or shine, freezing or muggy, which makes me wonder what the fuck was wrong with me
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Re: One Man and his Fag-o-Cycle
Now back to hot babes in tight outfits on bikes
https://thechive.com/wp-content/uploads ... info&w=600
:D
https://thechive.com/wp-content/uploads ... info&w=600
https://thechive.com/wp-content/uploads ... info&w=600
:D
https://thechive.com/wp-content/uploads ... info&w=600
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Re: One Man and his Fag-o-Cycle
And what the fuck is wrong with you today?robinson wrote: ↑Thu Oct 15, 2020 5:18 pm My paperboy bike had the front basket, and the rear baskets
https://d3h6k4kfl8m9p0.cloudfront.net/s ... BSGAww.jpg
https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/8h4AAOSw ... -l1600.jpg
I was a motherfucking monster at 4 a.m.
From age 12 to 15 I got up every goddamn morning at 3:30 a.m.
Folded and delivered papers, rain or shine, freezing or muggy, which makes me wonder what the fuck was wrong with me
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Re: One Man and his Fag-o-Cycle
Nothing an eight ball of cocaine and a couple of hookers can’t fix lolololol
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Re: One Man and his Fag-o-Cycle
https://i.imgur.com/rOsl6Nh.jpg
"Mimosa Pale, an artist from Finland, invites her fellow citizens to climb into her vagina-themed bike taxi.
Her intention is to protest the world’s fascination with phallic objects and draw attention to the cunt (her words) instead.
So three times a week she hits the streets of Helsinki."
"Mimosa Pale, an artist from Finland, invites her fellow citizens to climb into her vagina-themed bike taxi.
Her intention is to protest the world’s fascination with phallic objects and draw attention to the cunt (her words) instead.
So three times a week she hits the streets of Helsinki."
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Re: One Man and his Fag-o-Cycle
I must admit that though I have some slight familiarity with female anatomy that tumor thing under the arm is just creepy. Were the wiimmins just hiding something from me?
~~checks porn sites~~
~~checks porn sites~~
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Re: One Man and his Fag-o-Cycle
So, it was a pleasant day in Manchester for once and on went the lycra...
First stop, Debdale Park, Gorton, home to two of the city's largest reservoirs. People having fun messing, simply messing about in boats.
https://i.imgur.com/tguCK3N.png
On to the nearby Lord Nelson for a non-alcoholic beer and a chat with the delightful, diminutive licensee, Melanie. Gorton has a reputation as a rough area but if you can talk the talk, as I can at need, you'll find folks pleasant enough.
https://i.imgur.com/N911XSa.png
Where to next? It strikes me that I haven't smoked my pipe for a while, and the only decent tobacconist left is in the city centre and that way I head. First I say hello to my old friends Wellington & Victoria.
https://i.imgur.com/kQl281B.png
https://i.imgur.com/drirKIp.png
Then I sit for a while smoking and watching the children play in the fountains in Picadilly Gardens.
https://i.imgur.com/2TSK0qI.png
Feeling a little thirsty, I head down Portland Street to The Grey Horse, a favourite lunch-time watering hole when I worked in the city some 35 years ago. It's hardly changed at all, I note with pleasure.
https://i.imgur.com/eDQsnGE.png
https://i.imgur.com/ZasmqrB.png
https://i.imgur.com/XATKEeu.png
A couple of doors down is The Circus Tavern, which claims to be the smallest bar in Europe. Quite possibly true: the bar is the size of a telephone box.
https://i.imgur.com/ULhkbK7.png
Onwards to The Royal Exchange and Aston's. This place is a whisky snob's wet dream.
https://i.imgur.com/tq2XXxa.png
https://i.imgur.com/Gvac4OT.png
https://i.imgur.com/2OTif97.png
50 grams of whisky-soaked shag purchased, I remember that I'm running low on some spices, so head off down Oxford Road to Rusholme and the Asian supermarket. Spices purchased, it's time for a coffee and a smoke at the Wanasah Shisha bar.
https://i.imgur.com/eDLghvM.png
https://i.imgur.com/XVD6GA1.png
It is now crunch time. Should I or shouldn't I? I know I shouldn't, but it's right there. I can see it and smell it. And I haven't had it for ages. It's no good, will-power fails and The Rusholme Chippy's siren song wins the contest.
https://i.imgur.com/9BE0sIp.png
https://i.imgur.com/gMsDjgE.png
Now stuffed full of a double kobedah, I waddle back to my bike and head for Platt Fields Park in search of a public lavatory: all the coffee and diet coke I've consumed is making its presence uncomfortably felt. I arrive just in time to catch a rather beautiful sunset.
https://i.imgur.com/pMKojZC.png
Unfortunately, the public conveniences are closed, the park is packed and there's no chance of finding a secluded bush behind which to widdle and so, with sphincter tightly clenched, it's a six-mile sprint to visit my mother. Even if she's out, I have a key. Fortunately, she's in. Mother Camel says Hi!
https://i.imgur.com/O1fIeG4.png
After spending a cheeful hour being brought up to date on who has died, who is dying and who is likely to die, I make my excuses and pop round to see my brother, who lives nearby. Bro. is not in a good way. His left arm is all stitched and bandaged up because some cunt had thoughtfully rammed a broken bottle into a hedge he was cutting. He just avoided severing a tendon, poor chap. Anyway, that tale of woe duly sympathised with, it's time for me to head for home. A rather delightful end to my day out was a stunning red moon rising. This is the best shot I could manage with the equipment to hand, street lights etc.
https://i.imgur.com/tBdZkl9.png
:)
First stop, Debdale Park, Gorton, home to two of the city's largest reservoirs. People having fun messing, simply messing about in boats.
https://i.imgur.com/tguCK3N.png
On to the nearby Lord Nelson for a non-alcoholic beer and a chat with the delightful, diminutive licensee, Melanie. Gorton has a reputation as a rough area but if you can talk the talk, as I can at need, you'll find folks pleasant enough.
https://i.imgur.com/N911XSa.png
Where to next? It strikes me that I haven't smoked my pipe for a while, and the only decent tobacconist left is in the city centre and that way I head. First I say hello to my old friends Wellington & Victoria.
https://i.imgur.com/kQl281B.png
https://i.imgur.com/drirKIp.png
Then I sit for a while smoking and watching the children play in the fountains in Picadilly Gardens.
https://i.imgur.com/2TSK0qI.png
Feeling a little thirsty, I head down Portland Street to The Grey Horse, a favourite lunch-time watering hole when I worked in the city some 35 years ago. It's hardly changed at all, I note with pleasure.
https://i.imgur.com/eDQsnGE.png
https://i.imgur.com/ZasmqrB.png
https://i.imgur.com/XATKEeu.png
A couple of doors down is The Circus Tavern, which claims to be the smallest bar in Europe. Quite possibly true: the bar is the size of a telephone box.
https://i.imgur.com/ULhkbK7.png
Onwards to The Royal Exchange and Aston's. This place is a whisky snob's wet dream.
https://i.imgur.com/tq2XXxa.png
https://i.imgur.com/Gvac4OT.png
https://i.imgur.com/2OTif97.png
50 grams of whisky-soaked shag purchased, I remember that I'm running low on some spices, so head off down Oxford Road to Rusholme and the Asian supermarket. Spices purchased, it's time for a coffee and a smoke at the Wanasah Shisha bar.
https://i.imgur.com/eDLghvM.png
https://i.imgur.com/XVD6GA1.png
It is now crunch time. Should I or shouldn't I? I know I shouldn't, but it's right there. I can see it and smell it. And I haven't had it for ages. It's no good, will-power fails and The Rusholme Chippy's siren song wins the contest.
https://i.imgur.com/9BE0sIp.png
https://i.imgur.com/gMsDjgE.png
Now stuffed full of a double kobedah, I waddle back to my bike and head for Platt Fields Park in search of a public lavatory: all the coffee and diet coke I've consumed is making its presence uncomfortably felt. I arrive just in time to catch a rather beautiful sunset.
https://i.imgur.com/pMKojZC.png
Unfortunately, the public conveniences are closed, the park is packed and there's no chance of finding a secluded bush behind which to widdle and so, with sphincter tightly clenched, it's a six-mile sprint to visit my mother. Even if she's out, I have a key. Fortunately, she's in. Mother Camel says Hi!
https://i.imgur.com/O1fIeG4.png
After spending a cheeful hour being brought up to date on who has died, who is dying and who is likely to die, I make my excuses and pop round to see my brother, who lives nearby. Bro. is not in a good way. His left arm is all stitched and bandaged up because some cunt had thoughtfully rammed a broken bottle into a hedge he was cutting. He just avoided severing a tendon, poor chap. Anyway, that tale of woe duly sympathised with, it's time for me to head for home. A rather delightful end to my day out was a stunning red moon rising. This is the best shot I could manage with the equipment to hand, street lights etc.
https://i.imgur.com/tBdZkl9.png
:)
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