Porch Mormons

[Pyrrho]

Two young ladies knocked--loudly--on the front door. Greeted me cheerfully. Started babbling about what the hell ever.

Asked me if I had been a Mormon missionary.

"No."

More cheerful babble.

"Yes, I read the Book of Mormon when I was in college. Not for me. I'm not interested."

More cheerful babble. "Are you a religious person?"

"No, and I am not interested."

More cheerful babble.

"Look, I said that I am not interested, and you're not going to convince me. You're wasting your time."

"Well do you know of anyone who might be interested? Are you the only <my first name> here?"

"I have told you three times now that I am not interested and I am getting irritated. You need to leave now."

There was something about her body language and tone of voice, cheerful and smiling though she was, that was disrespectful. Had she kept on, I'd have lectured her about the obvious mental instability of Joseph Smith and how his book was a compilation of lunacy, and that I adhere to the tenets of critical thinking and rationality, but then I'd have been wasting more of my time.

Kids these days.

[shemp]

You should have told them about Dianetics.

[shemp]

Question: What happens when Mormon missionaries knock on the door of a Jehovah's Witness?

[Witness]

There was something about her body language and tone of voice, cheerful and smiling though she was, that was disrespectful.

You went from a plural to a singular. :mrgreen:

I've noticed repeatedly what you describe from very young people (in their early twenties, say) behind a counter, be it at a bank, a pharmacy or a train station, a kind of undercurrent of arrogance and mockery.
Apart from the stray asshole who won't last long at that kind of job, I think it's just body & speech language mannerisms they haven't yet lost from school and perhaps family, a way to appear somehow "cool" and superior.

My 5 cents.

[sparks]

Question: What happens when Mormon missionaries knock on the door of a Jehovah's Witness?

Gun fire exchange? Or perhaps MegaDumbth Meltdown...

[Anaxagoras]

I'm sure this has actually happened before. My guess is that once they each realize what the other one is, they give up pretty quickly.

[Doctor X]

Religious solicitor: “Can I have a few moments of your time?”

Me: “Actually I’m kind of busy right now.”

Religious solicitor: “Please don’t say that. I just want to talk to you about something that will be very useful to you in life: the Scripture of the Bible.”

Me: “After you’re done talking about the Bible, can I spend just as much time talking to you about anime?”

Religious solicitor: “But…I’m not that interested in that…”

Me: “And now you know exactly how I feel.”

Wokketu NEUZU

--J.D.

[ed]

I'm sure this has actually happened before. My guess is that once they each realize what the other one is, they give up pretty quickly.

Like psychics, they exchange info on potential marks.

[Bruce]

Your first mistake was answering the door.

If the knocking irritates you, might I suggest a sound proof door? :D

Maybe a sign that says "No souls in this house can be saved. Move along please."

[Pyrrho]

Used to know a guy who would invite porch missionaries into his house, then trot out his own Bible and lecture them on everything they had "wrong", him being a devout Catholic and all. That ended when a woman tried to blackmail him with photos of him and her smooching at a local park. He didn't pay and she mailed the photos to his wife. "I wasn't hurting anybody!"

[Doctor X]

How do you get from religious conflict in the living room to snogging in the park?

--J.D.

[Pyrrho]

That's what his wife wanted to know.

[Nyarlathotep]

Question: What happens when Mormon missionaries knock on the door of a Jehovah's Witness?

They try to sell each other Amway