Izit time to cry?

[izittrue]

When do we start picking the losers??

[Grammatron]

There's always next year.

[Carr]

I hope you won't be a hard case.

[shemp]

We're all losers.

[izittrue]

We're all losers.

We pick ourselves?

[izittrue]

There's always next year.

This iz next year!! Da Bears.

[shemp]

There's always next year.

This iz next year!! Da Bears.

Isn't there a clause prohibiting the insane and deranged from participation?

[Doctor X]

https://i.giphy.com/media/UtnBtt0eRVxkkJ2u2M/giphy.mp4

–J.D.

[Grammatron]

The Chargers are ready for the playoffs.

[Doctor X]

NFLPA Warns Holdouts They Need To Consider The Risk That They’ll End Up Having To Sign With Jets

WASHINGTON—Reminding players that failing to report to training camp was a high-risk move with no guarantee of success, the National Football League Players Association released a statement Friday warning holdouts that they might end up having to sign with the New York Jets. “We understand you want a better contract, but you have to weigh that desire against the very real chance you will eventually be forced to sign with the Jets,” said NFLPA president Eric Winston, reminding players to consider those worst-case scenarios when leveraging potential suitors against their current teams. “Obviously, we support our players getting the money they deserve, but before you sit out week 1, just imagine having to see your family in Jets gear. Remember, this is still a negotiation and you shouldn’t overplay your hand. It’s our job to look out for your best interests and to let you know that you’re in danger of spending the prime of your career going 4-12 for an unforgiving fanbase.” At press time, the NFLPA announced a push for more lucrative pensions to compensate players who had their careers and futures irreparably damaged after being forced to play for the Jets.

Impressive Sports Section . . . probably

–J.D.

[Anaxagoras]

I have a crazy feeling that this will finally be the season when the Jets turn it around.














What? :x

[shemp]

Now THAT'S insane!

[Doctor X]

"Take him to":



–J.D.

[shemp]

You can go ahead and put me down for Squealers to lose in week 1.

[Doctor X]

Soon. . . .

–J.D.

[Anaxagoras]

I don't get it, but this sort of thing probably doesn't bode well for the Raiders.
Antonio Brown skips practice over helmet issue; Raiders GM wants him 'all in or out'

It seemed like it was over. It seemed Antonio Brown was willing to move forward without his old Schutt AiR Advantage helmet after predictably losing his grievance against the NFL. It seemed Brown was ready to start the season after participating in pregame drills with the Oakland Raiders on Thursday.

But things are never over with Antonio Brown, apparently.

[Doctor X]

Yeah.

I have heard some back and forth on that. His Thomness also has a "favorite" helmet he can no longer use, so it has been a running joke that he did not appear in the two preseason games since he is "holding out" of the matter!

This appears to be a symptom of the larger problem with Brown. He was a dysfunctional member of a dysfunctional team who shot himself out to join . . . the dysfunctional team!

"This will end badly."

–J.D.

[Doctor X]

Jets’ Adam Gase takes blame for Avery Williamson calamity

Jets head coach Adam Gase admitted he made a bad decision.

In Thursday night’s preseason matchup with the Falcons, linebacker Avery Williamson was still playing late into the second quarter, while all other Jets starters were on the bench. Williamson was slow to get up after a play in the end zone where teammate Tevaughn Campbell collided with his right knee. An MRI exam later revealed the worst, a season-ending torn ACL for the 27-year-old Williamson.

New York Sun

https://media1.tenor.com/images/3b48b8c ... /tenor.gif

–J.D.

[Doctor X]

Meanwhile:



–J.D.

[Anaxagoras]

Fuck. :evil:

[Doctor X]

–J. "So I Found a Doctor on Craig's List" D.

[izittrue]

When do we start pickin’?
Oops I missed the other post. Disregard.

[Boss Paul]

Back sassin'?

[izittrue]

Back sassin'?

Never.

[Grammatron]

–J. "So I Found a Doctor on Craig's List" D.

Oh he will be crying now.

[Doctor X]

Wow.

The Dolts chose the two "Quarterbacks . . . of DESTinY!!" and got nothing from them.

Nothing.

I suppose they can now "Suck to Replace Luck" this year.

–J.D.

[Grammatron]

If Luck truly is done I feel bad for him. Hate to see shitty things happen to good people.

[Doctor X]

Apparently some Sports Dude Tweeted that Luck's unwillingness to go through more rehab is the "most millennial" thing. This received pretty much universal condemnation, even from those who "hate Indy," because DeflateGate and the like.

You are correct that as far as anyone knows, despite the neck beard, he is a nice guy or, at least, he has not raped anyone or, worse, played for the Jets. While he made the veritable yacht-load of money, he has to be disappointed with his career. I believe he made only one AFC Championship — said DeflateGate Game — where the Pats crushed him, then after the half passed him around the homeless shelter.

More to your point, he is why the "Is it Coach? Is it QB?" question is a false dichotomy. He had nothing but bad coaches with incompetent GMs and ownership that resulted in him getting destroyed. Some added that he tended to try to go the literal extra yard, but I place the blame more on such idiots as Coach Funt. No coach can succeed without a QB, and even a talented QB can get destroyed by incompetent coaching.

He is perhaps "the Best that Never Was." Even more so than Peyton Manning. [Stop that. – Ed.]

–J.D.

[Anaxagoras]

Wow. Shy of age 30 too.

Well, I suppose he made enough to retire comfortably and enjoy his retirement while he is still young. Can't say I blame him.

[Doctor X]

If I can take off my MY TEAM WINS YAY hat for a moment, he may not have wanted to wait for Brady to retire particularly if KC's QB is "the real thing."

Funny, Indy Fanboys who, well, sound like the NFL Fan Therapy Colt fan – who is a Colts fan according to Nick "Fitzy" Stevens who creates them – booed him and complain that "THIS" was going to be "the year!" Are they in Boston prior to 2004? Chicago prior to 200 . . . 200 . . . for 100 years? Are they Cleveland?

He was going to beat Brady and Mahomes? Then beat the Faints or whomever comes out of the NFC?

Not likely.

So why continue? It is a question Ben Rapesherburgler should ask himself as well, though I am not bothered to look up his contract.

Still, they have

https://usatftw.files.wordpress.com/201 ... issett.jpg

–J.D.

[Doctor X]

–J.D.

[shemp]

At least he doesn't have the shame of having played for the Jets.

[izittrue]

I ruined his career. First pick in my fantasy league the first year he got hurt. What luck I have in hurting players careers.

[Doctor X]

Capt. Andrew Luck
‏
Dearest mother —

The quill has never felt more heavy. I have made the decision to holster my sidearm permanently. I shall battle no more. The decision is difficult, but, as the hogs taught me, I must be true to myself. I am coming home to care for you and the farm.

— Andrew

Dearest friends —

I hope this letter finds you all well. Life on the family farm is just as I remembered. I have been up at the crack of dawn each day, sometimes crowing before the rooster. Oh, how he hates to be beaten. The hogs were so happy to see me, they could barely contain themselves in the pin. Dearest mother is in tremendous spirits. She was elated for my final return—all in one piece. She insists I pass along her well-wishes and assure you she fully intends to keep the unit stocked with batches of Squirrel Oil for your upcoming battles.

Oh, the times we had out on our campaigns through the years. I feel as though I was just a youth who hardly had two neckbeard whiskers to rub together when I first unholstered my sidearm. How we have all grown one hard-fought battle after another. From that frozen tundra to face the Horned Barbarians (I recall sleeping in a deer carcass to keep warm) to combating those painted Pirate Ruffians in their land without light. Then there were the Steel Men, who battled in a Pitt. And who could forget the orange Horsemen? Good thing we packed extra air since their land had so little.

Of course, we were hoodwinked by the deserter, McDaniels. But, that was serendipitous as it led to the appointment of the esteemed Gen. Reich.

We broke hardtack (and subsequently teeth) together, shared mother’s homemade goodies, such as spiced raccoon knuckles and sugared skunk thighs, as we stared up at the sky, imagining what it would be like to once and for all reach the great Bowl Valley. I, of course, plan on following your every move in the future, starting with your first battle against the Lightning Men in that formattable land: San Die Go. I will be first in line as soon as the papers are off the press with the latest news of your engagements. And I hope to get letters from time-to-time informing me of your adventures. Finally, I would be remiss if I did not tell you serving along each and every one of you was a joy and honor. We lost battles. We won battles. But we did it all together: one mighty unit.

While true I shall not be on the field with you physically, henceforth my spirit will always take the form of a Colt. And it will be with you as you hopefully make your triumphant march to Bowl Valley.

Allow me to leave you with this: Never have I seen such talent, courage and determination in the eyes of those around me. My resolve was strong because my belief in my unit’s abilities was unwavering.

You soldiers, your unit, is greater than the sum of its parts. Each one of you has the fearlessness, heart and grit to make a difference on the field. Yet, the group working as one wins the battle.

Please, take care of yourselves and one another.

— Andrew

Old Millennials Never Die . . . They Just Slack Off

–J.D.

[Doctor X]

--J. "The Best Quarterback in the Division Who's Not a Closeted Homosexual!" D.

[Doctor X]

–J.D.

[Doctor X]

–J.D.