A Christmas Shopping Tip

[asthmatic camel]

Don't buy your beloved old Mum a litre of Bell's Whisky as a Christmas Present on the 17th of November because it's £3 off at Asda.

https://i.imgur.com/GA86qkg.jpg

[Hotarubi]

Bells?

BELLS!!??

Never darken my door again.

[asthmatic camel]

Yah fuckin' whisky snob. It's all poison seasoned with old wood if you're lucky.

Back when I was a publican, a PITA customer named Frank would drink nothing but Bells. One day, I'd run out and he insisted that my barmaid ran down to Sainsbury's to buy a bottle, which she duly did.

The next day, thoroughly pissed off with Frank, as were all the other customers and staff, I set up a blind tasting paid for by myself. 1 shot each of Whyte & McKays, Famous Grouse, Vat 69. Glenmorangie, Teachers, White Horse, Bells and a couple of single malts together with a glass of plain tap water, which I placed at the end of the row..

Frank, blindfolded, tasted each one and firmly declared that the tap water was Bells.

"Nothing tastes as smooth as Bells." Quoth he, much to the merriment of all.

[Hotarubi]

a PITA customer named Frank

Was he born and bread up your way.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Eye thang ewe.

[Hotarubi]

The next day, thoroughly pissed off with Frank, as were all the other customers and staff, I set up a blind tasting paid for by myself. 1 shot each of Whyte & McKays, Famous Grouse, Vat 69. Glenmorangie, Teachers, White Horse, Bells and a couple of single malts together with a glass of plain tap water, which I placed at the end of the row..

After 8 shots of piss whisky, most people wouldn't remember their own name, let alone what water is.

[ed]

Franks on a Pita.

How ... British

[Hotarubi]

Fusion cuisine is all the rage over here these days.

[Doctor X]

The base single malt, Blair Athol, is quite good.

– J.D.

[Pyrrho]

We lived in a tip and we got jugs of Frank's piss for Christmas!

[Pyrrho]

[Doctor X]

Always knew Santa was an American.

– J.D.

[izittrue]

YouTube videos are getting blocked? Izit me? Or the site?

[Pyrrho]

YouTube videos are getting blocked? Izit me? Or the site?

I think you got jinxed somehow.

[izittrue]

YouTube videos are getting blocked? Izit me? Or the site?

I think you got jinxed somehow.

Perhaps as itz working now. :)

[asthmatic camel]

a PITA customer named Frank

Was he born and bread up your way.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Eye thang ewe.

Frank worked for the BBC and affected the appropriate accent, (although he was born and bred in Stockport.) One of his most annoying habits was snipping the audio cables when the music didn't suit his taste. He did drink a shit-load of Bells, though. :)